Professor, Sophia, Sofia discussed on Death, Sex and Money
All winter long I kept visiting the corner. I sat on a bench in my big red coat Sofia said I looked like a big glowing flower. The repetition on the corner was starting to feel like a meditation. I really loved being there. After a while, I knew all the regulars. And the morning unfolded like a choreographed dance. It began with the fully loaded food carts waking up in their lot across the street. And their drivers guiding them over the crosswalk with no control. This thing is like a big boulder coming down a mountain enter the old Italian man who shouts I love you. I love you. When? And then Oh this meals on wheels. Turkey Bean Chili is launched. That's right. Yeah. Turkey Bean Chilean rice I couldn't eat that. Then the police car I wave to police cars but. Don't wave back to me, but that's okay. We're at the bottom of the totem pole. Then the three dogs that she's named after the three tenors and you look like Carolina's the kids who don't like to be crossed rebel number two. Yes victory the mom who always late Lord have mercy on her heart. Perhaps she works the shift. She has rituals with many of the kids and when she misses one, they're looking back and hoping that I'll catch their I. It's it's heartbreaking. Actually there's drama the guys were supposed to come and pave the road and somebody had stolen their machine. How could you? Right? I, mean you you just hot wire that thing and drive away like an. Of course there are trucks Oh my goodness, I love trucks. It's kind of like being in a world of giants. They have their own atmosphere traveling with them. Basically, there's some of them are so hot. It's like a weather system and all if I see a woman driving a truck. Oh, forget about right I mean that's the best, and then what is not to love about a car on top of a truck On the corner, I would lean against the big blue mailbox in the sun with my headphones while Sofia talk to me through her microphone from the crosswalk. I saw some people staring at her. Wondering if she was talking to herself. Standing here this morning and I realized well two things. Tie? The first thing is nature nature Do you know the thing about the eternal return? Okay. So He says a great way to think about your life. Is that you for everything every decision you're making everything you do you say to yourself? What if I had to live this life? Exactly the life that I've had. Eternally just over and over like reincarnation but the same life. So then act nature reminded her of Komo and Komo reminded her of the myth of Sisyphus pushing a boulder up the hill. I'm starting to identify more with manual workers who work with their bodies and you know what? If you push a boulder up a hill all day, you're going to have a good sleep. You'RE NOT GONNA have problems with insomnia. Whining. And I think as a professor I was looking for some external meaning. That's right. Before becoming a crossing guard Sophia was an atheist philosophy professor. Working on my dissertation. Six days a week Good Morning, Columbia University PhD tenured philosophy professor at a university in. Brooklyn. I knew many people who had ascended the ladder of ambition. But rarely people who had voluntarily climbed down. I slowly unraveled the story of how Sophia went from married to divorced philosophy professor crossing guard and atheist a Catholic. Since she was a kid. She never knew what she wanted to be when she grew up no job felt right no vocation called her all I could get was a big black cloud of nothing. She did the philosophy PhD to please her parents. But when she got the job, she developed depression and chronic fatigue. Just, skip until I quit my job as a professor her husband had the income to support them both and health insurance. Her days were suddenly free. And she started thinking about what she really wanted to do in the world. Then one day in the middle of the week she noticed her neighbor in the lobby looking very dressed up beautifully resplendent in this Silk Sari with brocade embroidery and it was a Tuesday at eleven forty five. Am the neighbor said she was going to amass across the street and invited Sophia and she just had this look of happiness like she's like I'm going from my mass. You know I love my mass knows like. You it belongs to you what you know and Sophie is like, okay. Daily Mass will help me get out of bed when I'm unemployed. It's just a social practice just like anything else like a book club. Or like a workout When she got there, it reminded her of a philosophy class. The Monday to Friday crowd is like the graduate seminar. And The Sunday masses like the undergraduate intro class. That's basically what it is. Then, she became obsessed with a priest holding the Eucharist. The way you was looking at this little way for like it was his baby and she was like. You don't actually think Jesus is in the wafer do you he said not only do I all Catholics in the world believe that But it happens to be true. was like watching the X. files like the truth is out there. And then she's like. Well. What if I allowed myself the possibility to think it might be true if he's outside of time and space he can do anything it would be easy for him to go into a piece of wafer. He can go into wine he can go into way for you to do anything he wants to he's God. And my mind just kind of cracked open the door to. If this is true. Then Look how interesting the world becomes. Then she started getting Eucharist envy. She wanted to taste the wafer and when she finally did I've only been high on marijuana a couple of times. That's the closest thing I can think of, and it was kind of like you know like the world has all these sharp edges and pokey things and nothing really hurts as much as usual..