Peter, Sylvia Burstein discussed on Family Secrets
So and his that experience part of your decision to go to social work school you know it was part totally part of my decision and I I have and I had a great therapist who administered it and helped me through so much of it but also I think when I found Peter and I was kneeling by his body. It it may sound odd but at the time that I saw that I realized that he was dead. I thought I can't keep doing what I'm doing anymore. Like I just felt like I'm going to have to change my life. I was writing a lot about startups and technology for the times and other publications and I just thought this doesn't feel meaningful to me. I think I need to write about other things and I think I need to be more involved with end of life things and I just I kept thinking you know ex husbands and ex wives. There's a lot of. It's hard to be divorced and Peter was my friend and also sometimes my biggest nemesis but I loved him and seeing your friend there like that and thinking was he scared we see in pain was you know was regretful. Like I thought I couldn't have saved him at that point but I could have held his hand so he wasn't alone and I've always been an activist and so I thought I'm going to go back to work for social work and think about end of life care. I guess as a way to make up for what I couldn't give Peter. Because I didn't see what was happening. I didn't know his secret and I have but I wound up my first year. They said you know. Where would you like to do your fieldwork and I said anywhere but the dish? I don't WanNa do addiction. That's exactly what I did and it was actually remarkable and rewarding and I learned a lot so that was where I made that pivot. I think we all know we're GONNA die. I've never seen someone dead. I was like this is GonNa Happen. May Not happen this way and it may not happen tomorrow. But it's like this is really going to happen and so. I have to think really carefully. What do I want the rest of my time? The look like my friend. Sylvia Burstein who was my guest during season. One of this podcast. If you haven't heard her episode go back to season. One and listen to her episode called. Don't duck you'll thank me later. Anyway Sylvia who is one of the most beloved teachers of mindfulness. Meditation in this country recently told me a Buddhist parable.