A new story from Mark Bell's Power Project

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

I sat around. Twenty six minutes at transitions. I have less faith minutes. I was GonNa say told me all L.. Say Nine minutes and thirty seven cycle. We're GONNA write this down okay. I put twenty six minutes. I did twelve nine and a half for me. Oh yeah yeah minutes and right now. We're betting Ju- panels pull in that case one dollars. I was Listening to Howard stern learn and Like as soon as it's every episode is so foul all the time and Like I can't believe I like listening. It's just total it's just garbage. It's absolute garbage when he interviews people. It's actually like it's pretty quality because I think he's a really good at interviewing people but as as soon as I get in the car he's like he's like there's no way it's nine inches. They're going back and forth. And he's I think he took an illegal measurement he's like I think this guy's measuring from Ms Butthole and guys like well. Where are you where I measured from? He's like I've met you know measure as far back as he can rate when you right when it starts up every single time. I'm thinking radio. I know I know he's still killing it. So you guys are Texas Mornings. Be Texas you guys this morning. Yeah absolutely absolutely as proud of you let me see. I wonder if maybe he didn't see Michael Jordan. One Oh yeah yesterday. That has a cool clip Yeah pooped myself this morning. I thought it was in the clear thought. It was clearly like bubbles. I thought it was his heir My stomach's been fine lately. I haven't had any issues so I haven't felt sick. I haven't you know sometimes if you have diarrhea at that. Burn your stomach. You're like WHOA. WHOA I didn't have anything like that? I got to starbucks early today. I was there at like four forty five and I was like I get to Kinda just chill. I'll just listen to some music and I like tilt back my see an Mike. I got a couple of bubbles going on here so I went to let him out and I was like. Oh no and I was like. I don't know like how much of a mess this is. I don't know I don't know catching that cheeks catcher. I I was well I was. That's what I was hoping for so I went into starbucks and use the bathroom and I was in there for like fifteen minutes trying to clean up man. It was. It wasn't like they wasn't horrible but there is it got out. You know streaked in St streaked into the UNDIES sitting down I think I would have been okay. You know but I was already sitting down and then I had like get up and then you know go back and do my business so I lost a pair of jurors this morning. Um lost a pair of UNDIES. That had just what are you gonNA do. You gotta check them out right. Are you going to wash away see. That's a rich people. 'cause I wouldn't wouldn't just chuck my boxers. Take any bucks. Yeah out wash them clean them and Audrey US another day. There's a pair of Boxers Mace Boulevard in the bathroom. If you want to try to watch the baby Just went commando out of the bathroom. Now I don't think this is gonNA work out but luckily I had my baby wipes because otherwise. It wouldn't have been and today's of Squat Day and stuff I was like. I don't know how everything's GonNa work out I I. It's always good. I keep baby wipes Mike are the ones from COSCO. I always have those whenever I go to a public restroom. I take my baby wipes with me that I don't know if you guys do that backpack. Yeah that's that's a life hack right there because public restrooms. They told the papers is too abrasive. It's too tough so those baby wipes softened things up how. I just don't think you get everything. Everything is cleaned up as you need to. Yes no exactly if any if anyone like who is listening. Obviously I mean who wants to be like called out like just like just flat out called called out like dude you only do things like sixty percent. Nobody wants to hear that Yup. That's what wiping your ass with. Toilet papers lying bro. You're going sixty percent on that shit. Wipe your neighbor. Yeah Yeah Wipe with toilet paper three times and then use a baby wipe and see. How Much Gregg Zach? Yes you do a study run Z.. Multiple you know do do it for one hundred days in a row. Make sure that you get in this. You Know God make sure that the test is working the right way. It is very Brown eye opening when you're hice how much the the wipe gets. It gets how much how much deeper it gets too. That's important thing. Yeah even like even if it doesn't get solids it gets like the lick the potential liquid that might be around. We talked about some of this before but I only we definitely have. Yeah what did people used to. Do you know Mike. I think maybe because all yeah yeah like maybe 'cause people eight better 'cause like you just had to fucking caveman maybe maybe you had some taper chits here and there and it wasn't that big of a problem probably more than I talked about using your hand like just going in like a pond or something just cleaning it all out. Remember you mentioned that are. Isn't I think you mentioned there's a place where people shake with a certain hand because the other all Yay. I don't WANNA wrong. But I remember Mike Ryan Either Indiana India India. Yeah Yeah and then even one of those places to what was his name. Justin Levada talked about it to him and his his His wife Stephanie went over and got sick. You'll poo pants. Yeah Poopie Han Poopie fans along under the fingernails. Yeah last time we looked this update remember. They had like a stick with a sponge. That's how they yeah and then they washed it off. We have a terrible glad show etiquette like we started out so bad like everyone. Everyone already fucking like. No one's listening right. They're all left. I have yeah. They probably all gone lord of the shelters like yeah four people that were pumped and we offended them and now they're off listening something else to try to remember though because usually I can recollect the last time. I should my pants. I feel like maybe I've been on a winning streak streak because I don't remember it's certain Sherry for sure. Yeah no streaks. Yeah feel good about myself. I feel like I'm maturing built a month from around adult poop in the sauna but that was like I think that was that was that was it that was that wasn't that long ago. A big bad so bad it was cooking up the poop just like cooked in the Saada and was just like I was just sitting there like swept away here like I got a few more minutes and this on I'm on I'm on a schedule so disgusting so disgusting Eh careful Andrews. A veteran though Andrew's been like having poopie problems for forever. Yeah so it's like not fair. We're going against a black belt. Yeah so that's funny. 'cause like people will always look look towards me me like you gotTa have something I'm like do I am so good at at pooping that I can like this really State tightened like I'm good. I I haven't really ever quite necessarily I mean you have the tightest astle of all time. All right I'm GonNa leave you two bit me on. Ah The ice tea second. Your Voice got even deeper on I.. I- flattered Strong muscle back. Yeah the last time was definitely on a trampoline. ooh That was the last time that it happens. Habits shoot the shit out. Yeah I was probably like in third grade though Yeah so I was a young but I remember really call high. Yeah it was. I think my brother was on it with me. And then he like you launch each other and I just wasn't ready now the hoop inside. Oh Yeah all himself again. Yeah Angie Andrew this. 'cause I felt so case so I think the other night I ate some chicken so these costco. They make they'd have these drumsticks and they season in pretty well. It's pretty good air Friday. Do It was good right. And but it's like every time I eat that chicken. I like the worst part. So what has a rotisserie chicken. No no no. It's all the drumsticks just a straight drumsticks. So I made him the Helton. Those things great seasoning. That's really great seasoning. So I ate him. I was farting throughout the day and I was like. This is really really bad like when you smell your. Ira Ah you're you're discussing. You dislike God my own your own recipe right. Yeah I. I can't be around anybody right now. I got your own brand. I've heard it right. Yeah Yeah and I'm in the bed with my my lady ad I fart and I'm just like oh no she'd be one of those right. It's one of those And immediately I smell. It chuckled. Bit I was like and then she smells it it so that she starts to cry a little bit uh-huh because she's already feeling a little And then she said well that's uses like it was so bad. I made her cry. That was legendary. I've definitely definitely done some. That have woke my wife up not from the noise necessarily but from the smell. The smell is like oh my what's going on is something outside or bike. I'm Mike now. It's actually came from my but it was toxic toxic. Yeah I've done some. That smelled like the air coming out of a bike tire. It's like a weird like yeah like what the FARC held like. That is insane. I'm like it's like it's not not even a flat out like stink. It's just like unbearable. I love these museums to when you find your wait for somebody to smell it Kinda like. There's anticipation his a patient like. Oh here comes the cloud. It's going and you're wondering how you're GonNa play like am I gonNa lie here or am I gonNa tell ever own up to it but that was me was everybody. Just ignore it for some reason. Yeah which is great to and it's funny 'cause like we so we have three little dogs and every now and again they will fart and it just but it's it's a difference mostly can't blame yard damn dog again but elks will do with dogs will do. Yeah but now. I'm trying to get better at that'll stone and cement after he told that are more trying to trying to just do it more but away from my lady WanNa do is just you know. There's no reason them for other than just like like why did and you have to go to the hospital for cramps. Yeah like trying to hold it. So his old lady wouldn't get smashed by the farts. Yeah well we'll just thinking I'm like okay. If I'm over here ripping all night long. It's like when I roll over to. Hey like yes you smelly shit gets a little harder to get..

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