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Peter Bartholomew, Allen, Saint Andrew discussed on Citation Needed



Need something to keep up. Everyone's morale you know right. Yeah food you'd maybe I'm thinking. Oh we'll just head over to the fucking stop and shop Allen areas saying. That's not your fault not to fully get hanger. You know I get angry a lot. You know okay okay So something else not else. Yeah like I would imagine spear magic. Good Yeah Right. Magic Spear I just feel like a sandwich would be so much better though like we everybody will die otherwise it would be so much better. I really WANNA sandwich So berthiamue talks to Saint Andrew One last time and learn all the Christians need to do is fast for five days to guarantee their victory. Oh Oh yeah it makes a Lotta Sense. Nothing guarantees victory in a physical confrontation like going five consecutive days. Who might the good news is though? That's easy because they're starving right and honestly. The five days might have mattered because all of these Turkish nobles are distrustful of one. Another are and there was a hard time limit on how long curb appeal could hold together. This coalition you gotTa have some pretty significant differences to shun unity during his uh-huh houses of Congress watching a president become king or something like that would never happen right show on Monday. June twenty eighth of ten ninety eight Crusaders throw open the city gate and charge against is vastly superior Turkish force with one of their generals. Bearing Bartholomew's Oh whom use spear point in the four now again we don't know the actual numbers But we do know that the crusaders were massively. Outnumbered we also know that curb ago radically underestimated their force but so like the charge comes out and he's like Oh that's all there is no big deal and then more guys keep pouring out so he didn't really react. He accidentally. It was too late by the time. He's deploying all his forces and bring all the way to combined army the bear the people in the front lines are starting to retreat. And once that happens the various his faction's kind of took like fuck this guy attitude and deserted and so like the army version of your buddies second time getting back together with his ex. You're like yeah exactly no more all right. So this was a fucking disaster for the Turks and it catapulted. Peter Bartholomew to the height tame among the Crusader army. And that's a fucking problem because as useful as he was when he was stolen out morale-boosters right before they needed outnumbered starving is to charge a well-fed. Oh Fat Army. Having some random do speak for God can be a huge fucking problem right especially when shortly after their victory in the battle of Antioch he starts. He's telling everybody that Jesus wanted to March the rest of the way to Jerusalem barefoot is all the guys guys look look as talking to God and he said we have to do this on hard mode so no no shoes and this is a big one from now on from this point. Line on. Its three for flinching. Three desert has covered in slug bug. Sir will never make it now. He's testing in half of that. Atom are the the people leggate dies. He is the main voice of opposition against visions and soon after that Bartholomew is visited by Atom Ars Ghost who tells him that he changed his mind and now he totally believes that the holy lance thing was true soccer. Convenient timing. Yeah right so soon. You've got this whole army divided Ed between people buying into Bartholomew's visions and people rejecting. Okay I feel like Allen. Who is clearly the no of this story would have had very convenient? Follow all up visions right after Peter to contradict whatever the fuck you said. Yeah no sweet vision Peter. That's a good one. Wait hold on Saint Andrew He's popping back real quick right now. You hear that right either you here nope no. I think you're hearing something else was. He said he said you can hear him too. He just said you heard him say that he knows that you can hear it right Right Yup that's him. I said you know what I did. Hear Him Yeah you obviously because state Cool so any okay right now. He's saying it's cool. If only Peter Does the barefoot thing so we're all good we're all GONNA do All right so eventually Bartholomew's vision start consisting of things like long prescription lists of centers among the Crusader army army. That Jesus thinks should be hanged. And that's enough to rock even his most ardent supporters so basically. Everybody concludes that. He's just another. who had a spear point point and then he gets so incensed by that charge that he offers to prove himself with an ordeal At Allen's like yeah great the idea Pete. That's fantastic Saint Andrew. I know you know what he said. He'd say nothing if he agrees with that. No totally onboard. It's just like I had the weirdest dream last night I was crusading. You know like we do and then I looked down and my spear was like really small when I was naked and late. And where are you guys going. I've just all right for those of you who have never been accused of heresy in the Middle Ages. I should explain what all of this means. An ordeal by fire is when you have somebody do something that would normally burn them. But if God favors them he can make it not burn right shows you reach and so on so we clearly wanted to tiny here and that is now. That's really what it is right because this is the thing they do like walking over coals type Shit you reach into a boiling pot of water in your hand comes away on bird because that doesn't take very long. That's God's way of telling everybody that you're on the up and up Lord Jesus be with me everybody all right. We'll see you guys later with a much older hand. AH So loving. Jesus I hope he just has like a single candlelight licks his fingers snuffs it out. Bucket billionaire AWESTRUCK. Away like No that would be the novice version of an ordeal by fire up Peterborough. Thal meal would be doing the advanced version so some of his fellow soldiers building a bonfire which then and walks through now the stories day. Bridget at this point with the consensus among historians is that he comes out the other side of this sponsored by a very burned to death dies a couple couple days later so cruel myself. I believe we were discussing my list of centers please. You're you're still on fire on. Fire the sense now. Interestingly enough though the the spear point he found would continue to be treated as a relic throughout all the Crusades. When at one point it was captured by the Islamic Army people would doc in the doomed effort to get it back because religious is stupid and makes a live people turn debt people so besides that very last thing you said if you had to summarize what you've learned certain yeah no it was that last thing I will improvise okay? It's easier to write essays when you pick a subject whose wikipedia article is more than four hundred eighty one word and and are you ready for the quiz from the panel of experts. I am ready to roll all right. No more was the nickname for Peter's magic. Spear was it a ooh Shallow Albert Magic Pike. See all that Javelin Yup thank. You are a Hokey pokey. It is a D is admittedly brilliant. Eli were But I see that you're doing that to trick me. I did the reading. I know the actual answer. It is secret answer e Lance Revolution. A that is correct. All right Noah a divine adventure adventure into the heart of the Muslim world to claim land. Seems like bad idea back then. When would this also be a bad idea? Hey Eighty nine thousand nine hundred forty eight B nineteen ninety see two thousand three or d probably again next. It's Thursday last Thursday because we of course he's A. This is a tough one because the answer you would think it secret answer e all of the the above. But it's actually secret. Answer everything that could possibly be. That's correct I know. A trial by fire was just one way they had to decide. If you're a heretic. What was another way to plead your case a had to put your hand in a bag of Scorpions? They call the stung jury. Ah Lan about a nails. It was an EPA Dir mistrial. See so you off a platform into water to see if you drown. It was a jury of your appears appears is spelled differently. There guys adult. That's why it's funny or they would kill you. If you came back from the dead you were innocent. They called the Corpus Ha. Because nobody was all right. I got to be honest. I don't know Secrets are E. It's like see they throw. Oh you into a big VAT of saliva to see if you drown a known as these spittle equipped to the jury pool. I get all right I I would bet you're wrong though. Its Status Corpus. I'm sorry it's your close. You stumped him man. Yeah well then. Tom Should do something. who said my name all right well for Tom. No Cease Lynn. Eli I'm heath. Thank you for hanging out with today. We'll be back next week and by then Tom. That was why somebody said your name. Yup who is that. You're going to be an expert on something else next week. You're ready Doesn't seem likely count the other between now and then you can hear Tom and see salon cognitive dissonance and you can hear myself on God. Awful movies the skating atheist and skeptical at. And if you'd like to give us money for the free thing that we give you you can make a donation at patriotair dot com slash citation bod and if you'd like to get in touch with us. Listen to past episodes connect with us on social media or take a look at the show notes. Sure to check out citation pod DOT COM.

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