Stanford, Zubin, John discussed on The Peter Attia Drive
Because I'm in the Silicon Valley, I'm at work for a couple startups and see what happens, and I did that for year and in that year, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that without that stimulation of that deep relationship like money as a stimulus was never going to cut it for me, which I wanted it to Peter I wanted to be rich. It could happen. I was doing well as moving up in these companies, and then I just felt empty. So my buddy John offered said, hey, there's hospitalised gig at Stanford. You should take. It saw your. Colleagues from residency. We're doing this cool stuff. It's great. And I said I'll try it for a couple of months. I was there for nine years, and that was the first real medical job. I was moonlighting and I loved it. But this was it and being able to spend time with patients when they're acutely sick in the worst day of their life in the hospital sitting with them spending time, it was before the EHR HR, the electronic health record kind of destroyed our ability to make eye contact and it was beautiful, man. I kept a diary because I was weird in those days, and I was like thirty and I was like this. I'm blessed like who gets to do this like I found my perfect niche and it lasted probably four years before things are too chain. So then what changed for years into that nine year stint? I think what changes what's been changing in medicine across the board. Which is the creep of medicine is business medicine as assembly line medicine is process to be improved not medicine as deep human relationship. That's a sacred calling. So what ended up happening ES Argos live productivity. We start to lose house resident supports a where more they're expecting us to just see a bunch of patients to generate revenue, and it's not so much. About teaching. It's not so much about mentorship. Is not so much about a team. What I love about the hustle you go through. Hey, bob. How you doing social workers case managers there? We know everybody our RT's, and they're all all supporting each other. It's not hierarchy goal. It's like whole article everybody brings their thing that started disappear with the pressure of click. Click click, and I was going home in charting at home. And then I had my daughter. My first daughter in two thousand seven and that was a tipping point where I was like, I I'm treating my daughter like, you know, my burnout is expressing in how I'm treating my daughter, and I can't spend time with her. I can't read her stories at night. I'm thinking about clicking these boxes and epic. And I haven't finished this did I remember to check the potassium on that guy. You know? I'm the type of guy can't just sign it out. I have to like I own it too much. So it just got horrible. And I started being nasty, and like my relationships were suffering, and you know, what did your wife think at the time? So she was radiologists academic radiologists at Stanford. So she found a path that was really perfect for her introvert. Very science minded loved the team. Hamic of it. She looked at me and was like urine a bad. Did you guys meet at UCSF? We met a Stanford as interns the year that I met you. She did all medicine, and then came to a pithy don't like medicine parents were really into medicine both were medical people. She's like they didn't see radiology is a real doctor Chinese parents Salat of pressure. So she's like, you know, what I'm not going to specialize in pulmonary critical care. I'm gonna go back and do chest radiology and Zubin you're going to support me by the way for for years. If more residency and fellowship, and I was like all right. And so when that table turn, and I was miserable and depressed. She was the first to say, you know, 'cause we got in this. I mean, that's another story. We started making videos putting him online. Tony Shay, this Eve's apples reached out. But before that, she's like, what can we do for you? Do you want to stop working? I'll go up to fulltime. She was eighty percent, and you can stop working. We won't have a ton of money, but will in the bay area. You're poor. No matter what you do. And that I was I don't know. I don't know. I don't miss how how long after. Seven this would have been await. Okay..