Jesus, First Twenty, Nine Hundred Forty One discussed on The Adam Buxton Podcast
Who's born in nine hundred forty one. My dad's sense of it was right. Lots you're basically doing this for yourself. How you seem because you want to use big words. He wanted to express how you feel. Well this isn't a time for you to feel something. This is a time for her to mourn her husband. And and i suppose i was like yeah. I suppose it's not part of the performance of my life. It's about somebody else and so yeah difficult to know what to do there. Isn't it but yeah. I think simplicity is probably best thoughts and prayers. Find well whatever you wrote seem to work because as you say you became friendly she invited you to see a production of hms pinafore and croydon the garden and you got all dressed up goes chair. Attendance yes yes. And how would you be at that point. So i think about fifteen sixteen at this point right quite young and she's so nice to you. The whole anecdote may be quite emotional really. Yeah because i just thought god people can be very kind and nice. You know what. I mean yet. I have been very lucky. That i've often had people in my life. Thus far who have been very sensitive and very in tune with kind of me being different condemns of supporting that and supporting nian and great kindness and she did encourage bay at a time. When i felt like. I don't know who i am going to do what i'm supposed to be doing. What jesus. I guess it's going okay. But what is all this life about. And she was like. It's great to be different. And it's wonderful because you still hadn't come out at that point no way and the very much the mindset for me at that point was i'll never tell anybody and earn at the top of a grand house and i wouldn't even see anybody else even though i was crushing on people dreadfully and really in love with people and in my ear and stuff and i didn't have any way of there was no way i would be able to explore that because as well again. It doesn't feel like it's that long ago but because if things like section twenty eight to which meant that teachers in schools they weren't to couldn't promote homosexuality. Yeah which guide have promoting it. I mean as if we can't promote ourselves that's right. The idea was that if you sort of talked about it if you normalized it yes and you just sort of implied that actually there was such thing as you know. Being gay is normal in some way. Then that's tantamount to promoting exactly and that's going to dissolve the fabric of society. Exactly like there was that's homophobia that was used as a slur just to call someone gay and it was really in my mind. It was the worst thing that i could possibly do. Because it would know what it would result in. The only thing were late nights on channel four where people either died or were beaten up and killed there. Were there positive stories about what happened. You come out very different. I think what happens a bit more now. You know we didn't talk about anybody being gay at all. And sometimes when i'd go on television talk about sexuality big gail the top because for the first twenty in my life. I wasn't an to mention it. It wasn't me. I didn't make it. A big deal was made made it illegal so committed schools. But it's kind of difficult to explain that. I had no idea what it would entail. Would i be thrown out hope. Would i be disowned by. The whole community are grown up. I had no idea and you have to live that in your own head..