Older <Speech_Male> people are lucky, <Speech_Male> we get to see <Speech_Male> Cher, looking <Speech_Male> like a glittering <Speech_Male> bird of Paradise <Speech_Male> and a spider web <Speech_Male> dress, and an <Speech_Male> extravagant feathered <Speech_Male> headdress, <Speech_Male> presents the best <Speech_Male> supporting actor <Speech_Male> award to old <Speech_Male> timer Don amici <Speech_Male> for cocoon. <Speech_Male> It was a <Speech_Male> mismatch made <Speech_Male> in heaven. And <Speech_Male> what about the time <Speech_Male> Jim Carrey, <Speech_Male> who failed to be <Speech_Male> nominated for his <Speech_Male> performance in the Truman <Speech_Male> show, <Speech_Male> presented that year's <Speech_Male> best editing award <Speech_Male> to Saving Private <Speech_Male> Ryan, <Speech_Male> making vino <Speech_Male> out of his good <Speech_Male> natured sour <Speech_Male> grapes. <Speech_Male> Incidentally, the <Speech_Male> editing category <Speech_Male> is one of those <Speech_Male> that have been excised <Speech_Male> from this <Speech_Male> year's edition of the show, <Speech_Male> along with <Speech_Male> makeup and hairstyling, <Speech_Male> original <Speech_Male> score, production <Speech_Male> design, <Speech_Male> sound, <Speech_Male> documentary short <Speech_Male> subject, animated <Speech_Male> short <Speech_Male> and live action short. <Speech_Male> But <Speech_Male> who are we kidding? <Speech_Male> Even the most <Speech_Male> memorable Oscar <Speech_Male> broadcasts <Speech_Male> were always <Speech_Male> dotted with <Speech_Male> long, <Speech_Male> dull stretches that <Speech_Male> would have all of <Speech_Male> us on the east <Speech_Male> coast watching the <Speech_Male> clock, <Speech_Male> wondering when we'd <Speech_Male> finally get to <Speech_Male> bed, and it's <Speech_Male> perhaps feeling jealous <Speech_Male> of our West <Speech_Male> Coast counterparts, <Speech_Male> who at least <Speech_Male> had the luxury of <Speech_Male> being able to go <Speech_Male> out afterward for <Speech_Male> a drink or a slice <Speech_Male> of pie, <Speech_Male> which is why the <Speech_Male> current efforts to make <Speech_Male> the show <Speech_Male> less boring and <Speech_Male> thus hopefully <Speech_Male> boost ratings, <Speech_Male> even <Speech_Male> in a changed world <Speech_Male> where fewer <Speech_Male> people watch television <Speech_Male> in the traditional <Speech_Male> way, <Speech_Male> it come off as <Speech_Male> so much wasted <Speech_Male> energy. <Speech_Male> Adding a few <Speech_Male> out there presenters <Speech_Male> like skateboard <Speech_Male> and or snowboard <Speech_Male> whizzes Tony <Speech_Male> Hawk and Sean white <Speech_Male> isn't the <Speech_Male> worst idea. <Speech_Male> Maybe they'll be fun. <Speech_Male> But all the <Speech_Male> behind the scenes <Speech_Male> plans we've heard <Speech_Male> about so far simply <Speech_Male> give off a whiff <Speech_Male> of trying <Speech_Male> too hard. <Speech_Male> Even if we <Speech_Male> have to wade through <Speech_Male> some sluggish moments, <Speech_Male> why can't <Speech_Male> we just revel in <Speech_Male> the human element <Speech_Male> of the Oscars? <Speech_Male> Why can't <Speech_Male> we just <Speech_Male> let them breathe? <Speech_Male> The Oscars <Speech_Male> show has fallen prey <Speech_Male> to our false <Speech_Male> notion that we <Speech_Male> can control <Speech_Male> everything. <Speech_Male> When in reality, the <Speech_Male> event is an organic <Speech_Male> entity that <Speech_Male> its creators <Speech_Male> can only partly <Speech_Male> work out in <Speech_Male> advance. Packers <Speech_Male> write about one <Speech_Male> thing, you shouldn't <Speech_Male> aim for boring, <Speech_Male> but that's <Speech_Male> different from <Speech_Male> allowing boring <Speech_Male> to happen, and <Speech_Male> for being open <Speech_Male> to the beauty <Speech_Male> that boring <Speech_Male> can bring. <Speech_Male> We can't watch anything <Speech_Male> in real time <Speech_Male> anymore. Wait <Speech_Male> 20 seconds <Speech_Male> for, say, <Speech_Male> the best animated <Speech_Male> short winner to <Speech_Male> make it from the back <Speech_Male> of the theater <Speech_Male> to the stage, <Speech_Male> who has that kind <Speech_Male> of time to spend. <Speech_Male> Never mind <Speech_Male> that short films <Speech_Male> rarely get <Speech_Male> the love they deserve, <Speech_Male> and <Speech_Male> for the few minutes <Speech_Male> they last are <Speech_Male> often surprisingly <Speech_Male> costly to make. <Speech_Male> There's also <Speech_Male> the fact that the people <Speech_Male> who win these <Speech_Male> alleged lesser <Speech_Male> awards <Speech_Male> are often more genuinely <Speech_Male> thrilled <Speech_Male> than the big time <Speech_Male> actors to rectors <Speech_Male> or producers <Speech_Male> who trundle <Speech_Male> up to the stage <Speech_Male> with their cans, <Speech_Male> speeches.