Stop Missing Your Life; Discover Mindfulness With Cory Muscara


Hey Corey are you in mindfulness infamous mode. I it's great to be here birth. You're putting me in my fullness mode and. I don't think it takes me to put you in mindfulness mode. But it's it's a it's a great honor to have you here on the show Corey so let's get started with. What does mindfulness being to an expert like you? Yeah a good question. It's an interesting one these days with mindfulness growing in the way that it has because historically mindfulness this was just one piece of a larger philosophical framework within different contemporary traditions and particularly spoke to a certain quality have discerning awareness that we could bring to our experience. But now the way it's used it's more referring to like a way of living a way of life so I'll give you both perspectives when it comes to like that basic awareness. The way I like to describe it as the practice of being with our experience rather than in our experience in a way that spacious curious and heartfelt compared to some of the the traditional definitions of mindfulness. You'll notice some distinctions there. The first is that I don't use the word non judgement which is the common in almost any definition of mindfulness. The reason being is I like to replace replace it with curiosity. And it's not because I don't think non judgement is important in mindfulness. I just think curiosity actually accomplishes the same thing. When we embody a moment of curiosity it's already imbued with non judgment? Curiosity just has the intention to understand an experience to get get to know it better and why like curiosity over non judgement is that it's a little more active. It's pulling us into the experience and and that was a big piece of mind training in Asia Woodside UPN data. He was very much about having US investigate the nature nature of experience whether it was the breath of thought emotion. Hanes sensation was very active and he was Although we didn't use the word curiosity too much which the word investigate was used a lot and curiosity from a pulses in to investigate the experience at the same time accomplishing that non-judgmental it's a quality and I think in general when we hear non judgement it even though people like John. Capitan don't mean it. This way it does often set up a precedent or communicate something to a new practitioner that they shouldn't have any judgments at all. And that's not the case we get to bring an interest a curiosity to the judgmental. Mind the way Corey I want to dig into this a little bit more when you say about non judgement. Of course we all hear that all the time you know. You shouldn't be judgmental but it. It seems like a natural human trait that we judge ourselves. We judge others. So you're saying are you that as soon as we notice this ourselves judging something or someone we should immediately look at it as being curious. Is that kind of where we're going with this. Yeah and and end for anyone listening right now you could try just taking that perspective on like imagine your mind getting caught up in judgment of like. I don't really like that person or or like right. Or why did I say that thing that person before like I'm such an idiot right. If we take the approach of bike being non-judgmental can create an antagonised relationship to ourselves selves. Like okay. Stop doing that. You're supposed to be mindful. You're supposed to be a good meditators right versus like. Oh that's interesting. What's that about like? Where's that thought coming from? What is it creating in my body so the curiosity it's already bringing non judgement to the experience and it's a little lighter and playful it is playful and it kind of is like? Oh it's okay to be curious right it's okay to be curious and asked that question whereas when someone says you should be non judgmental. It's almost like I just have have to replace it with nothing. I just have to stop doing that and if I stop doing that. There's a void. They're totally well. Put Great Summary of it. Yeah if we were to focus on anything when it comes to the essence of mindfulness if people could just develop more curiosity toward all aspects of their experience that that would take you so deep into the practice if not become the practice itself right because mindfulness should be playful. Shouldn't yeah yeah in the more we can make it playful and fun the banner it is and the easier it is to adopted into our life right. Yes that's my whole thing just trying to reduce the perceived accessibility of it right. Yeah more fun an enjoyable and playful. It could be the better and I don't think it takes away from any of the integrity of the practice. Yes if I agree with you and speaking of life. I love how you've entitled Your New Book. Stop Missing Your Life. So many of us are missing Our life but you tell us. How are we missing our life? And how can we stop missing our life. Yeah well let me. I come at that from a very humble perspective active. Like I'm still exploring this for myself. You know. I think we all have ideas of how we might be missing. Our lives could be that. Where quite literally on autopilot going through our moments rushing day that we're actually not there or we could be so caught up in ideas for the future that our heads are down on missing everything in between or we could be racked with stress anxiety or fear related to trauma that we just live our lives in this constant fear based state? So everyone's going to have their own journey with it. I think in general what we're seeing in our culture right now is many people moving through moments very quickly with their heads down on automatic on autopilot because technology has conditioned very like quick kind of attention to jump to the next thing but in addition to that. That's the usual one when we think of mindfulness. That's usually what we think of like okay. Everyone's not being mindful. Their heads are down there on their phones. But there's another dimension to missing. Our lives is that I think gets overlooked. And it's often that where we have so many walls of guarding that prevent us from connecting to people in the way that we want to connecting into ourselves. In the way that we want to and being able to experience a sense of fullness and wholeness and so the book it's titled Stop Messing Your Life How how to be deeply present in an unpleasant world. I'm really interested in presents itself and the many layers that get developed as we we make space for for more of ourselves in the world more of the richness that we can experience and that's a skill that something that can get developed over time and mindfulness is is a big piece of that and and so the book kind of explorers. What are the layers of presence? And how do we move to that on a deep level

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