A highlight from Norm Macdonald: A Joke about Hitler's Dog

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Listen, this is all been wonderful. But I will tell you this. Nothing I've said really is of substance. I find. That's just the me. I find like most of my act is just, you know, gossip and trickery. Like some cheap magician, you know? So I'll tell you the only thing I know for a fact and it's something that we all know. Everybody knows it, but it's harder to act on it than it is. But the only really true thing is that we are must love each other. And it's very difficult, you know? It's very, very hard. Hey, what about this? A dog loves for you. You think it's hard to love people. A dog loves every like a dog. Like, my dog, right? I've never seen such a no judgment. Like my dog, all he does is love me. When I wake up, I think he watches me sleeping. Because when I wake up, he's right there. And he's like, I love you. I love you. I love you. Jumps up. He's licking my face and he's like, I love you worry. You're the greatest. I got thanks, Taylor. You're cool. I love you. I love you more. Mary yesterday we strive to be a rubber bonus. Yeah, it's a joke. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, right? I was laughing. It's funny. Ah, you love me so much. And I love you. This is the greatest thing. I'm just gonna kiss you and kiss you and kiss you forever. I go, yes, you can do that. I just keep kissing you. And I go, okay, get the fuck away from me, all right? Leave me alone, would ya? I got a right shit into a magic phone and stuff. I got no time for this. Fucking dog Seth. Then my dad goes, you're right. I find it. You know, I love you, but I just push too hard. Push and I push and I push and I push you away. I'm no good. I'm no damn good. But what say, what say, I just stood here and stared at you. Completely quietly. Until finally you looked at me again. With some look of love and egg, jump up and love you again. Yeah, yes. That would be fine. Do that. They don't judge guys. We judge you know all our love comes with caveats, you know? There's no such thing as unconditional love with human beings, but dogs, they don't care. They love Kepler had a dog. Now, you think of that. I know a fan of Hitler. I never liked him. I didn't like him before. It was cool not to like him. But there was a dog in history who loved Hitler more than anyone. He would wake up in the morning, you know, where's Hitler? You know? And Gary, or something? We go like, he's not here. He's doing some evil stuff. That explained to you. He spends most of his time doing evil stuff. You can't see him that often. He goes, okay, I don't know. I'm not trying to listen, Gary. I love you. You know, I love mingle, I love everybody. All of you guys are the greatest. But it's just Hitler. It's the greatest man who's ever lived. This is why we ask that you don't use recording devices. Stream norm McDonald, Hitler's dog, gossip, and trickery, only on Netflix.

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