Loving Kindness Talk
Last week, we been doing the practice of. Sending love and kindness to ourselves. and. I hope all of you have been enjoying that practice I'm sure you've done it before. And we've been. Saying I think in different ways all along in this study. that the practice. Of loving kindness is a little bit counterintuitive. It isn't quite. What it seems to be. So when we`re Practicing, to send loving kindness to ourselves, it's not exactly. That we're trying to love ourselves and feel you know. Warm. Love for ourselves. As much as as it is this practice of generating loving kindness we're trying to undo. something. In ourselves. That is stopping up our hearts. So, if you are practicing sending kind loving kindness to yourself and you discover that you're not feeling so lovey dovey about yourself and maybe you're frustrated. Don't be frustrated just do the practice. It actually is working a lot better than you think because it's not really so much about your feeling. A lovey dovey feelings about yourself. I heard from at least one person in this last week. Who told me a very long time? She has been trying without too much success. To send loving kindness. To someone. been having a really hard time with for a while. And it just hasn't worked at all. But when she started sending love and kindness to herself. She found that her feelings for the difficult person. Improved quite a bit which surprised her. She had no idea that that would be the result. So it's interesting how the practice works. It's usually unexpected in its effects. I think Sharon tells a story in her chapter about someone who? Tried and tried and tried to practice love and kindness for someone and complete failure, but then she. saw the person and found that she had kind feelings toward the person completely unexpectedly. So Just keep. Doing the practice it has affects. Anyway. Tonight I would like to go into the practice of loving kindness for a difficult person. And so I'm. Going to. Help us through. Aversion anyway of some of the stuff that charon sharing at the end of chapter five. And an on page. Seventy nine, she says something that to me. Seems so important and so basic. To this practice. She says this. To develop loving kindness toward a person with whom we have problems. We must first separate our vision of the person. From the actions they commit. That may upset are harm us? So when you read that little sentence, you know it reminds you. Of How automatically? We. Fall. Back. On the illusion. Of A person. Of Our. Belief you know in persons are starting with ourselves. Even though. We've been contemplating the teachings forever and ever, and they always say over and over and over again. There's no such thing. As a person. In the way, we imagine a person to be. So if someone. Harms us. And we believe. Hold on one second I'm going to. Put everybody on. Yeah. Someone. Harms us. And we believe that there's actually an existing bad person over there who has harmed us. And now we're upset with that person but that is actually not the case that's really not what's going on. There are actions and consequences. Yes And the harm we suffer is all too real. Yes. But Actually It makes no sense and it's completely counterproductive Unin. Always. To blame the harm. On. An actually existing person.