Building Confidence with Jonathan Van Ness


Hello jonathan so. I'm a huge fan of queer eye and of yours personally because you're radiating joey all over the place whether it's watching you learn to figure skate on i g or your daily morning coffee boogie you. I really just love all of your content And virtually officiating a wedding. That was also very cool during quarantine so cool so we're really honored to have you on breaking beauty. Podcast tell us from your perspective like what is self confidence. What does it look like. And why is it important. Pay attention to. Oh that's a really good question. I think for me. Self confidence is so important because it will competence is like one of the central tenets of self of like being centered self and what that means is in the therapy that i've done so much of is like we wanna be self led like my idea. Being sulfide is like the person that like. Even if i'm late or things of kind of gone awry like i can still be calm. I'm not reactive inaugurated you know. You're centered selfish. Very like calm clear compassionate courageous. It's like really like the best version of yourself and so confidence is part of that in so when you feel confident that's like a really good indicator for me when i feel confidence a really good indicator for me that my centered south. I miss. i'm not in an a people pleasing my personality. I'm not in a irritated part of my personality. I'm not in like a overly work mode part of my personality. I'm like you know self-led fled so accurately talks about that. There's a lot of people in virtual eaters and spiritual thinkers who think who talk about being selfless. So confidence is such a big piece of that. But i think the thing that people miss the most often about confidence and i know that for myself i did too is that you can be competent and you can have a part of you. That feels really confident about something but then also really insecure about something else and can happen at the same time There's parts of you that feel confident but then there's other parts that you know are insecure about certain things and so the trick is is wet part of yourself. Can you identify with. Can you hear from that part. That might wanna change something or maybe doesn't like something about yourself and say look i hear you like i get it. I understand why you might feel that way about yourself. This is like you talking to yourself. Maybe we got those ideas from society or like something. That doesn't really feel organic to us. Like while i hear what you're saying i need to get in the back seat because actually centered. South is here. And we're not going to be berating ourselves today about that like expectation of beauty that we know that part of me has for how it's supposed to him kind of china mores in it by with this parliament industrial confidence about you know my heart may essence. What i do for my friends what i do for me. The only or feels like super confident about my face. I have i will say this. Maybe i am maybe really competent. But my face is like one thing. I've never been self conscious about like. I've always thought like a really pretty face like i've cobblers. I like i've always been like work. There's other so. I always looks like something. You feel competent. It doesn't mean physical thing it can be a piece of who you are and then just tried to identify with that. Because i think there's anyone who feels completely competent about everything all the time every single thing. Yeah i read in your bio that from a really young age like forever. You were out and i and i think about back then like what gives you the confidence to express your authentic self. Even from a young age. I say the include ryan episodes of like you know there really was like i could really be in a closet if you had like is in ears like if you were in my presence. You were very much like okay. Like i was fully fluid in nancy. Kerrigan kristi yamaguchi oxana by all geos zodiac sign. I also knew about everything about the electoral college in the presidential election of nineteen ninety-two. I really wanted to talk about i. Thought ross perot is actually. When i understood. I understood like the words. I didn't understand the politics of his leaks. I was i was really engaged in the world around me also just extremely feminine and i wanted to wear tights that i wanted to her off the shoulder. Things and i wanted to like run up to my dad's best friends like push them in runaway. Be like it was just exactly how i am now but if i do is coming out of the closet officially linked answering yes to the question of our i was getting asked if i was gade called gay and like just was asked to from such a young age that i think by the time it was like in sixth grade. It was like by fifth grade already done. I'm buying and pamela anderson's. I watch being watch like i you know but really it was david hasselhoff that i get enough up. He was such treatment in the nineties. Yeah until he started rapping. Of course you started rapping. Did i miss a diva rap. I'm pretty sure he was a big rapper. In germany he had an act german moment. I did knows because of rapid wisit wrapping. Am i making that up. Okay i'm going to have to google it after our call

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