Attachment Fears and Attachment Needs Underpin Our Relationships

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

I'm talking about attachment as the underlying need that mammals. Have we need to feel safe. Connected considered all that kind of stuff that. I'm important to you that your accessible to me that you're response responsive to me so attachment is the underlying frame framework under those types. That we all. We're all looking for that. And so when we have a feeling that say anger under it. There's going to be an attachment theory in an attachment. Need the need. Is that you all. Let's say you remember my birthday. You don't abandon me. you remember me. You unimportant enough to you that you remember me that would be underlying need and the fear would be. I'm afraid that you won't remember me as you just proved when you forgot my birthday. So we we have to drop out dropped from the action to the first feeling into the attachment feelings So that's what are the list of cashman Attachment feelings for listening okay. There's you know as many as we could imagine but some of them. I'm not worthy of you. I'm not good enough for you. So in other words someone could trigger. The partner could trigger sensitive security. That could bring up the feelings. I need to know that. I'm good enough for you. I need to know that then we moved into more. I need to know that you care about me. I need to know that you think i'm special. I need to know that you won't abandon me. I need to know that you literally anything between two people. Yeah as long as it's the deep emotional you know what we really need in terms of feeling safe connected on valued so it's connected to save connected valued that that sane. I need to know you see me. You know someone who suppose there's someone who's been whose father ignored her while she was growing up and then is a partner who ignores her. Well that's to be a huge trigger. Which is i feel like. You don't see me well that you have to bring that you have to get down to that conversation of that level and then you have to actually go into history will. Why is that such a big deal for

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