A highlight from Dealing with Work When a Loved One Dies

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It is wise to connect with your superior. So they know it's going on who has died when they died impossibly how they died. If it's a sensitive death like homicide or suicide maybe a drug overdose. You may want to leave out how they died. It might come out later. That's fine but for now you can omit it from the conversation if you are not feeling comfortable sharing it a simple hi boss. I just wanted to let you know that my dad or mom my grandfather my grandmother my husband or wife. Perhaps even my child has died last night. I won't be able to begin today. Do this by phone then sent an email to them. So you have this fear on records and writing. Tell them that once the arrangements have been made he'll send another email to him or her and each of your closest colleagues at work with the announcement of the death and the invitation to the funeral. If they can make it. If you send the email with what happened it will help you from having to tell the story to each person individually when you return to work now if you need to attend an out of town or out of state or even out of country funeral you'll need to make your boss aware as to the time off that you will need ask them to please call human resources for you to learn which might have available. Are there certain amount of days you can take. That would be paid. Or perhaps you have to use your vacation time or sick time so you will be paid for the time you take off to plan in attend the funeral. Based on the type of company you work for will determine how much time off you might have and the generosity of your immediate supervisor or boss to your bereavement if you work for someone else they basically dictate the days in pay you can expect but if you work for yourself you can take as much time as you need although it may affect your own income now about your company boss and colleagues. There is a hard truth but one which needs to be addressed. Don't expect them all to join you at the services. They may come to the way but not the funeral burial. They may only have time to come to the funeral itself. But you need to remember this. Most of us don't keep in touch with anyone from our job after we have left it. We might connect on business social media if we want to catch up from time to time or need a reference or perhaps want a connection regarding a new position with another company that they are now working for. So even though you're close now chances are good. You might never even see them again or want to for that matter if their treatment of you when someone dies was not compassionate. So don't feel offended if you get no sympathy from your boss or co workers. After a week or two. It's really quite cold but this is how it is. Many people are so consumed with their own troubles and challenges. They don't have enough time to worry about yours. And i know that sounds so callous so inconsiderate but it's the way it is so don't be alarmed when the level of compassion is low and it leaves you wondering how people can actually this way you may find just too few people care enough to visit or leave a card on your desk or ask you to join them for coffee so you can talk and vent. The unfortunate thing is that your job is just so job it brings in income and will never be a substitute for family and friends so tom expected to be so negotiate. The time off you can have that will be paid. Keep your boss informed as to how long you need to be out. Tell them about anything outstanding that you're working on that needs attention. Perhaps by another member of your team so they know where you stand with work and you find out when they expect you to be back at your desk once you go back to work and see how you're doing you might find that you need partial days for awhile since you're grieving and might also have other affairs of your loved one to deal with. If you have many vacation and sick days available you might ask to come in early and leave early taking half days which will still be paid. You might find it better to work four ten hour days so you have three day weekends friday saturday and sunday to recover and have time for yourself and your family's needs it will take some time to figure out what will work best for you and then communicate that with your superior he or she cannot know what you're going through and what you're dealing with in the beginning of our grief so much going on within us and in our family so it's best to write a few notes before you have that conversation with your boss so you can cover all the high points that need discussing have a number of alternatives asking for the most important one. I see what they say. And if you aren't getting what you need simply say. Thank you for your suggestions man. Consider this then. You can always go back with an alternative plan. Once you've had a chance to ponder what they offered. I also want to help you understand that. The person who has died might not have the traditional label their bosses expect for you to take time off for a funeral. This death might be. You're absolutely best buddy. Since you were in school you grew up together. You played sports together. You raise your children together and now they have died leaving you devastated

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