A highlight from Dealing with Guilt after a Sudden Death

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Listeners. From the countries of algeria united arab emirates and egypt. we now are heard in sixty countries around the world. I want to thank you for joining our audience and we do hope you will subscribe rate and review our podcast. When you get a chance. So how are you doing. My friend my warrior. Are you doing a little bit better this week. Are you keeping up with riding the five things in your journal that you are grateful for each evening it will keep your spirits up. It will make you realize that beyond all the pain sorrow and overwhelm. It is your time to sit quietly by yourself and recognize. There are actually things in your world that are right that are calming that are bringing you bits of joy. You just need to look for them. You need to record them in your journal so when you are having or more than difficult day you get to see all the things that are working in your life and help you realize that even though it feels like all is lost it isn't it is all in the way you look at it and i hope you realize my goal is to help you better understand what you're going through so you can slowly move forward through the grieving process and through these emotions to a more peaceful place. It doesn't happen all at once not at all but keep listening and become more knowledgeable of what you can expect during the grieving process. I know the techniques. I share can definitely help you this week. I like to talk to you about how to deal with guilt. After a sudden death no matter how close you were to the person who stepped you are now grieving. You may feel some sort of regret over what you might have done differently when they were alive. Or what you could have experienced together. Had they lived the if onlys and what we call the woulda coulda shoulda can paralyze you if you let them. If only i had done this. If only i had done that may be the record playing over and over in your mind when someone dies suddenly many of these thoughts circle around in your mind. You may feel a deep sense of guilt. After their death all of live with some regret and guilt regarding the way we treated the person who died or was killed. You might not have been the most supportive person throughout your relationship and you wonder if you could have done more for them while they were alive. You find yourself feeling that you didn't spend enough time with them were you. Didn't do a particular something they would have appreciated but we must understand. There was no way we could have prepared or predicted that they would die when they did. Sudden death is shocking. It's something we don't expect at all and we are left with guilt and regret that we will need to deal with otherwise it will become a serious burden that will affect our health both mentally and physically and we cannot afford to let that happen now. You might feel guilty because you were not able to live in a better neighborhood and your child decided to become involved in gangs no matter how many times you told them. Those were not the best people to be around. They persisted. And you feel guilty that you didn't do more either financially or in helping them realize the dangers involved with certain people in the neighborhood and one day all your fears became reality. Your loved one endured senseless murder. And you spend so much time trying to figure out what part you did or didn't play in helping them be safe. Maybe you thought you should have brought them to work each night but you let it be and they were killed in a robbery gone bad at a local grocery store where they worked late at night and now you feel it was your fault because if you driven them they might still be alive. And then there are the drive by murders. That you couldn't possibly know would happen when they did. Your loved one was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But you simply can't deal with the fact that this is so unfair and you just couldn't protect them. Maybe you felt they were mature enough to use your car but now you feel it might have been unwise one night. They wrap your car around a tree losing control when driving too fast your child or other loved one is now gone and you are left to wonder what you should have done instead. Or maybe they wouldn't or couldn't stop their addictions to drugs or alcohol or gambling and he changed who they were. It changed the people they hung out with. It changed how they were part of your family and their decisions to continue in that walk of life contributing to their death now. Sometimes you don't know who to blame them. The people who got them hoped. And in that lifestyle or yourself or what you think is your failure to help them recover. You kept moving along thinking they would someday wise up and go to rehab for the last time and make a great life for themselves

Coming up next