"We will be talking about childcare a topic we've talked about in the past but some sort of general guidelines for people to think about as they are making their childcare choices that we've heard from our listeners things to keep in mind as general philosophies because you've you've made some changes recently Sarah Right. Yeah I think I think the reason I thought it would be interesting to another childcare episode since we did talk about it before we'll a couple of reasons number one. We have some new listener so this is always requested topic anything from time to time. It's nice to go back on but also I think people forget that this is an area in which you can't set it and forget it because what works when you have one baby is different than when you have two children and it's different when you have older children that may have different kinds of homework and in fact really. The logistics can change every year or even more frequently. We're finding ourselves. It was funny because all of a sudden you know my I wind about it on this podcast. Enough you guys know. I was very frustrated with a lot of evenings because Josh often gets home fairly late there are exceptions. But I certainly can't rely on him to get home. You know around dinner time or anything like that or even penn time and I was finding myself dreading those evenings but our nanny worked from she used to come at seven thirty in the morning and we used to live fairly far from where she did. Now we don't But she came really early. You know she commuted and of course. I wanted to get her out on time. So she left at six o'clock saliva basically get home from work and she'd be pretty much out the door leaving me to deal with the evening on my own. Which again I did it but I wasn't always very happy. Happy about it yet. So you know all sudden. It occurred to me that we didn't necessarily need our nanny to do the morning. Drop off like I don't know what was stopping me. Did Change because it has to do with our move and the timing of the fact that genevieve goes to school now but genevieve school is conveniently located on the way to my office and I had this block on my head thinking like well. You can't drop off the big kids engine. Vive and then one day aren't any had to be often. Let me try it. It was like that is so easy. Like throw Momma car or sometimes we do it with scooters and and a stroller drop off the kids and the timing actually works perfectly because they need to be there really dropped off by like seven forty five and then. I drive halfway to work. Genevieve's drop-off coincides pretty much. Exactly what that halfway point of one I need to get to work and I can actually get in time for when I first patients there and do the drop off which means. I didn't need our nanny to come so early. Which also meant that? I felt free to ask her to work later. So like you know a cascade and now we have her come. Sometimes she still has to come early. We had a parent teacher conference this morning in Josh. Both wanted to go without being distracted by genevieve so she did come early so you know she's still available to come in the morning and usually it's one to two days during the week that she does come early but a lot of other days she comes in around eleven and then we'll stay until seven thirty and then the hours kind of even out to the same number of our. She was working before. But I get that support in the evenings usually put to bed while she's still here and I am a happier person so but it it just like you know we could have easily just stay on autopilot thinking that you know we had a system that worked and you know she was already working a lot of hours. We'd boxed ourselves in a little bit. Yeah so that that was a big thing and then kind of around the same time. I got empowered because I just came to the realization. My husband's actually had to take a little bit more weekend call with the changes at work and it's fine. It's it's reasonable but he's on call one out of every three weekends. I was just started seeing these thirty three percent of my weekend. Stretch ahead of me for the rest of the next decade and not being able to work out and And I was like wait I hover. Genevieve will be twelve though by the end of that second. I'm pretty sure that you can leave a twelve year. Old a fifteen year old a seventeen year old out certainly leave a twelve year old. Okay maybe I was seeing the next five years and I was like. Why can't I just hire someone to comfort like? It doesn't make me a bad parent doesn't make do anything and then. I'm like oh I could hire someone to come. Watch the big kids while I take her to my gym and so now I went back on. Care Dot com which is where we found any. I found to babysitters and I can talk a little bit about the application process. Because I've had pretty good luck and the last two weekends I've come for like two hours since in the morning so I can workout while my husband's working and actually sometimes when he's not working I'm trying to have them come so that he can. Somebody asked to do some work when he's not working so so he can do that without it really taking me and even so we could maybe both at the same time once in a while so again. It's like you have these stories. You tell yourself about what you're allowed to do but we're grownups allowed to do whatever we want. I think there's a mental block about having childcare when you're not actually working right and I think a lot of people have in their mind that the only acceptable time to have it is from the start of your commute to the time when you walk in the door and you know maybe you get a date night every month or so that you have a sitter to regularly build into your life extra hours beyond that I think makes people you know feel weird and we can certainly explore on this podcast. Y that is like why do people feel that way but I think that is definitely we should exactly first before we get to that though the deeper question maybe you can talk through the ads that you put on mystical standpoint so again we found our current nanny through care dot com six years ago. She still working with us. And I found these babysitters what has worked for me. Is that put an ad and I do. The paid subscriptions communicate and then in that ad. I put very specific things about what I'd like them to respond with. Please respond with number one. Your availability number. Two like two references. Unlike number three time you can meet with me like that's pretty simple right and yet. Most people cannot follow the instructions to respond with those things. So I'm like okay. We're done we're done here. You could follow my instructions on the ad you just sent clearly a copy and pasted thing. About how you WanNa work because you love children but you didn't answer my question so that's a really nice filter on that seems to work. And then you know. I set up interviews. I have a friend so I set up for interviews for a few weeks ago and I will admit to them just cancelled. One of them just cancelled in ghosted. One of them Sent me a text like five minutes before the start and was like sorry never mind and then the other two showed up like beautifully on time professionally dressed like darkness. Good yes Contacts in fact both of them at least one of them like sent me a text like just just letting him on way like just like fully and then I knew they were professionals. The other thing I really liked too is if if this is not to hire someone for primary job but like for these babysitting short little gigs. If you find someone that's hired by an organization you know like one of ours is working for a government organization locally. I kind of know that they're not a government. Organization is not going to hire like someone with criminal record or major issues in. If I can find out that they've been there for a couple of years. It's a nice setting processes well to make me feel safe and secure. I feel less scared about like I know. There's a lot of angst when your child or very little They can't talk to you yet about what's going to happen but at least. I know I have an eight year old almost and so she'll tell me if someone's you know not great but I still feel much better knowing that okay. This person was vetted to work in a medical practice or to work at a daycare. Like they've been through background checks drug testing all that kind of stuff. Because I'm not necessarily GONNA have the the the ability to do that myself although through through carry dot com you John Various things. So that's that's a service you can look there's others to like sitter city. Nanno is an on demand one. There's there's a number of players in this space now that there weren't in the in the past in you had to go through if particularly if you're hiring full-time childcare. You had to go through Nanny Agency for instance which they still exist. You may wish to do that. But you know the people's mileage may vary with with them and I really like references so I I asked. I'm like I want phone number of someone you've worked for recently and I do call and usually you can tell instantly in that person's voice like Oh yeah. This is someone that they've trusted. I mean it's the same as a word of mouth wreck but I'll be honest. People are not always including myself so excited to share their favorite babysitters contact information They may want to dig their own date nights and they don't want you to pull them off the market every Saturday night. So that's why I N N I feel awkward asking for that reason because I don't want to steal someone else's best person when somebody has kids that are kind of aging out of the need for babysitter. That's a great time to ask like. Oh you've mentioned that you're leaving your Ten-year-old or twelve year old at home now like any babysitters that you love that you don't need any more that can be a window of opportunity."