Sperm bank punishes mother for accidentally finding her donor


Feldman, a mother in Washington state had questions about the ancestry of her five-year-old daughter. But these questions were especially complicated. Just because the father was an anonymous sperm donor. So the mom submitted DNA samples for herself and her daughter and much turned up surprise. Yeah. Using the popular genetics testing kits from twenty three and me. She founded direct relative of the sperm donor soon after she contacts relatives, she got a very firm letter from the sperm Bank. She had used do not try to find the donor father. But with these DNA testing kits being animus donor is harder to do Aaron Jackson, founder of the advocacy group. We are donor conceived is herself a child of a sperm donor father. So Aaron lot people are reading this letter. It's going around online. It's talking about damages. It is a stern warning. They're surprised at how harsh it is. I'm wondering are you? I'm I am sorta surprised to hear this someone of the sperm bakes because in my mind, the logical lawsuits would come from people like me who are conceived by anonymous sperm donors who want to know, the identity of their biological fathers. But at the same time, it makes sense, you know, these people want to protect their business and their business model relies on anonymous donors getting paid to sell firm to them that they then sell to other people so with an anonymity removed. They would have to rechange their whole way of doing business. Why did you want to find out? Who my biological father was on undying here Yossi, really I thought I knew who my father was until I was thirty five, and I was informed of the whole story of my conception. So for me, it was it. You know? You know, having you know, this new information brought to light just. Totally shut out my sense of identity, and you know, left with a with a giant question Mark like who is this person that I'm now seeing in the mirror every time. I look at my face, and what's his story. I wanted to know where I came from so. Yeah, really that was it just a basic human drive. At the center of this story is similar thing. Did you find out? I did. Yeah. I took a I took a DNA test immediately upon finding out I'm donor conceived because I realized I didn't know my ancestry, and I didn't have any health information either. And within a couple of months. My husband was able to piece together the puzzle using like a second cousin once removed to backtrack and find out who the guy was. And you know, it was totally surreal to finally see it safe. But I feel like a great sense of Keith knowing that information, and how did how did he react to you showing up or alerting him that you knew who he was. Okay. So I sent a letter that was about to knock on a door, and they'll give it too much. He was he was taken aback by it. And unfortunately in my case not open to contact for me. He he clung to the promise of anonymity that he was given, you know, thirty five years ago. Before DNA tests. And before anyone could even imagine not any of this was possible. So my my perspective is that like my appearance on the scene, which shake up his family to a degree that he wasn't capable of responding to so, yeah, it's unfortunate. But I didn't get the storybook ending. But knowing who he is is means a lot to me. And I asked that partly because I'm wondering based on your own personal experience. Can you understand why a sperm Bank might not want? This information to be made public because they don't want a bunch of people surprising people in your case, your your biological father. It was what you were thirty five years old when you found out. Can you understand what their point of view might be? Oh, totally. I mean, they they want to continue doing business as usual and the the possibility of someone taking a DNA test and finding out the answer. This question was nothing more than their own saliva really represents a challenge to everything that they've been doing for several decades. So yeah, I can I can totally see that. They don't want this to happen. But I also think that's not my concern. I my sympathies are with the people who do not know where they come from. And are looking for any way to find that out because the sperm banks are not facilitating that on their own initiative. It is one of these stories that we see sometimes we're we're at this place now with technology and science, and I'm thinking about you know, your second cousin twice removed. And then you connect all the dots. That's so far ahead of where the rest of us are. And then we catch up or learn how to deal with it as it goes along in real time. Yeah, it really is like science fiction

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