Parents Act, United States, Israel discussed on Good Kids: How Not to Raise an A**hole

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I love that it's secure and I also love the better help allows allows you to swap out your counselor if you're just not like in love with the first person they match you with for no additional charge because trust is really important people and they even have financial aid available for those who qualify qualify. Go to better help dot com slash. Good kids fill out a questionnaire to help them. Assess your needs and get matched with a counselor. You'll love as a special offer for our listeners. Get Ten percent off your first month with code good gates. Don't delay get help today at better. Help Dot com slash good kids. I think kids struggle with today. I think a lot of times. I feel like our kids in a situation that we put in because The success that we had I think our kids his struggle with the sometimes dealing with if they are in a situation where they feel like. There's not enough of them. You know me or somebody that looks like I didn't with a UH with the skin color their hair and stuff like that so I think a lot of times has to explain to them that the is what what guy gives the under special and how they look in holiday talk in the hair trigger alert but reinforce that they're special and I think that's important when when it comes to people who are teachers that look like them are learning about their own history and stuff that's important to their own culture and help we know grows individuals so a lot of times is apparent. You gotTa Take hands-on dog approach by going to the schools in volunteer a lot and I think we do a lot of that whether Teaching Hoping Teaching History or coaching on the teams or going on field trips I think our kids have to deal with a lot so we have two parents and I think sometimes now we're parents were so busy with all the work that we were cost answering the facebooks answering the twitter twitter the easing. We're looking at other people's life judge in our lives on on their expectation. Instead of taking on a hands on approach until getting into our own schools in our own environment remain all communities and being all resource that we wanna see I think having to do with our kids is something that they have to deal and I think as parents to things that are dealing with or things that we have to do it. We can't think that because kids are dealing with A. That's not. Our problem is definitely our problem and we have to help them find a solution in their own way but in a way to seize his hands off but when you have parents who are very involved kind of helps you shape your parenthood. What's your marriage is GonNa look like by how you mimic that you know saying? We hate to say mimic but we a lot of times. We were mimicking where parents or we also fight and not to be like liked them. So it's like there's a sex sized half of us. Fifty percent of us are like. Yeah my parents were like this. I'm going to be like that. And the other fifty percent like my parents did this. I'm going to do the opposite or the Parents Act. It definitely shapes us for adulthood in in our marriage life in an apparent in two thousand seventeen Thursday incident between the police officer myself when I was just being a loyal citizen of America give soil and And I had a gun to my head I had a gun in my head. I think a lot of times as parents various people want to parents want to whether the copiers rier the players right or the person the citizens right at the end of day there. The lack of humanity eighty four when my child feels if they lose a father with my wife if she loses a husband. So I think there's a lot of that that people misconstrued and they don't have any compassion empathy for for and I think that incident for myself was very very gut wrenching to think that this could be the end or something so simple can turn into something so violent. I feel like you WanNa keep that Christmas thing your kid for as long as you can. I call it the Santa Clause if back you want to keep the Santa Claus affect all your kids as long as you can. The Santa Claus effect is for the listeners is to keep that the majestic life thing where the kids are feeling feeling like like they can keep their childhood and they don't have to go into the realities of the true world. I think a lot of times. There's kids we lose their that affected three years old when they go that you know they don't get food or whatever it's like you don't have that childhood where they get to know cautiously takes unicorns and do all those things that keep kids young and when you have to tell your kids about the life if it just sucks because then they have to see the world for what it really is and there's enough of that when you see how everything really is and is Kinda desperate your day sometime. You don't want your kids to Kassi. There's the world's doom and gloom and I I think for us when you speak to kids and have to tear down. I think that's the hardest thing for us is now. She has to see the world for how it truly is. When you're a person of color and the things that you can experience not just reading your book but a first hand experience for someone that she loves dearly and closer art and I think when you sit sit there and talking to her and she gets emotional? You get emotional because you know that you know the fear is reality and I think that any hurt hurt Israel via Israel because to the world. There's just a football player or black man who experiences something that happens on a daily basis to people of color but to her happened happened to her dad now. The fear doesn't feel so far away the fears near is closer is breathing on her neck and I think that's the hardest thing to explain to your kids when they feel the difference is not they. They start to feel that they're not the same anymore. They started feel different infamy. I think that was really hard to explain to her. And I think there's tears tears as coming from each of our is because this is how this is the validation that you know because you're black or this this could happen to you and I think that really hurts because now our kids aren't they don't feel kids they feel like a black kid they just don't feel like a kid. They feel like a women now are a girl like it's not just being a kid. They have to identify where more thanks to the realities of life and I think that's harsh for parents constantly deal with or constantly. Tell their kids. But then there's the other side of is to tell your kids not to be fearful and not got to fear because they have to fear if they start to life in fear in every single thing every single thing that gap to the shelter life so you know be able to not have I fear and is just constantly move on regardless of the bears continuously break Dow. Don't fear I'm just go head on with them and try not to you know be so cautious which alive be smart but don't have so much fear that you can't do exactly what you want to be because of your color don't have fear that you can't beat the boss because you're a woman Eh. They'll have fear of those things is constantly just continues to work hard and don't worry about those things and that's a hard thing to tell kids like well. Dad that happened to you so why should not have have to do that. Why shouldn't they be watching? I'd be scared to tell you that happened to me but I got back up and are dust myself off the grid. I have is sticky fight and take this for both of us as parents..

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