Befuddle, Boone, Linda discussed on Does This Happen to You
Writer. I love telling and sharing stories about the strange experiences my friends and I have while doing mundane things like grocery shopping. That's why this podcast features funny stories from fantastic writers about our daily anomalies a micro audio book about life in befuddle men. Just for you our story. This week is from Linda. Latte who you'll find on medium DOT COM and here is confessions of a seventy three year. Old Woman you would think I'd have my shit together by now. Well think again holy crap. I'm seventy three. Does that make me officially old? There are some days when my boone's creek a little bit or I am more tired than I think. I should be occasionally I give into it and I take a nap. Those are the days. My husband starts tiptoeing around me. I May Have Seen Him Flinch at timer. To sometimes he will suggest that I should indeed take a nap. Then he quietly disappears. Those are the days when I deserve the name Bitch. Thankfully he is not the name calling kind. I have now entered the time zone of what the heck of I done with my life. To be honest I am rather disappointed. Reflection is not all it's rated to be. As a matter of fact I do not like it. I thought there would be so much time and that I would be relaxed and content. I must confess as I was stumbling through my life. I knew I was failing miserably at times. I wanted to get off the merry go round but I could not make myself jump. The problem is I have drifted through much of my life. Does that sound familiar? Isn't that what so many people say as they grow? Old Darn it. I don't want to be normal. I don't want to sound like everyone else. I don't want to make so many mistakes. There were times in my life when I was so structured and worked so hard to achieve my goals you know the goals the ones most. Everyone has be successful. Make Money Blah Blah Blah. I did that but I never made a plan for one. I was older. I was too busy trying to survive. I totally sucked at relationships. I avoided it for a while. Not sure why. Exactly the nineteen seventies. That was when you married early and started your family. I was already behind schedule and I'm still not sure I was ready for marriage. I did want children and it was a big fat. No no to be pregnant and not be married so is settled. I remember talking to a girlfriend and telling her I wanted kids and the first nice guy who came along. I was going to marry crap. That was stupid and it was a mistake. I did get exactly the children I wanted and blessed to have the husband not so much he was and is a nice guy. There is no way I should have married him. We were not a good match. We were married for fourteen years. He is now my ex and I am thankful that there was not more damage to all involved in that relationship. We made it out OK. Their relationships I had after that were excruciatingly awful. Have you ever felt you punishing yourself? I have and I think I did. I felt guilty. Can you believe it back then? Divorce was not really acceptable. Either you made your bed and you darn well better stay in it so stupid so I drifted a little bit. Nothing felt right. No one was a good fit. I almost married one of them. I could puke now thinking about it. It seemed that each relationship became worse. The last one before my now husband was a demon. You know the kind the ones who can't stand themselves so they spew out hate toward everyone in their path. Yep I stoop that low the worst part of my three relationships with the amount of time and effort. I put into them ladies. Listen up do not do that. You have to value yourself because no one else will unless you do. I you cannot fix broken. Do not try the only one you will hurt is yourself now. I married to the man that was my high school love. We were supposed to be married right after I graduated but life gun in the way he was in his first year of college and then Vietnam happened. He enlisted went there for two tours and our relationship and I have often looked back and wondered if that is why I waited so long to Mary so I could have a family shit. You can't go back. Does anyone ever understand life? I'm seventy three and I do not have a clue here. I am and I think about what I could have done differently throughout my life thus far the only thing I'm grateful for is my children I would not trade them for anything the rest of it. I would like to change. But where do you start I am looking at the past with is that are in the present? Everything is different now. Is like looking at life through a filter. Am I making better decisions now? I can only say I hope so. Most of the time. I doubt that every decision I make affect someone else. I try to be aware of everyone's feelings but I'm also trying to be fair to myself to. It is a delicate balance one. I wish I understood better. Do I have any advice? No I wish I did. The Best I can say is that life is a dance so pay extra attention to the steps. You take if you make a mistake. Learn from it. Do Not Invest too much time in it. Let it go and move on when you come to a decision apply. Much thought a tablespoon of common sense and a hefty dose of love above all else respect and. Love Yourself. I you are the one in control even when you do not think so. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the story let me know and share it with your friends. Follow me at Kris K. K. Aria on twitter or Kris K. Kepler on facebook or check out my website. Www dot Chris kepler dot com..