Facebook discussed on Stupid Genius with Emma Chamberlain

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Videos are my favorite thing to talk about with other people. I love watching them. I love watching them with people. I love discussing them analyzing them. It's so fun and now facebook watch has them. It's a place you can discover new videos appreciate longtime favorites in discuss with other fans if you like video because it inspires. You reminds you of someone who used to date or the mood that you're feeling right this moment. This is the place that you can explore share in common about them on facebook. Watch there's hip hop pop latin alternative. In whatever else you're into it's got all your favorite artists and songs. It's not just about the music it's about what it means to you and other people and the comments are awesome to read. It's so fun other music. Lovers are sharing all kinds of great stuff. Sometimes even the artists are responding to comments. Visit facebook watched to explore more and share the love of music videos now in high school. It was bad because of course my obsessive crushes continued. I- obsessive is really honestly doing myself a disservice. Because i was not obsessive. But i in my opinion i was obsessive but i it was not unhealthy by any means. I just really really liked these boys. Like i would just get so like i was so beside myself in love with them like i would close my eyes at night and it was all i thought about which to me seems obsessive but i wasn't like fucking tracking their phones in trying to figure out what they where they weren't. She had not like that obsessive. I wasn't watching them sleep through their window. Okay i was just thinking about them. Twenty four seven all day and that was all. I thought about all the time all day in class in going to bed at night every day. When i was in the shower not in a weird way like but every second i was thinking about whoever i was having a crush on at that moment. Which to me is obsessive. Now that i've defended myself. Let's continue in high school. I had my first case and this was an absolute train wreck. Because the reason why i decided to have my first kiss on the day that i did have my first kiss was because i was one of the last people in my friend group to have their first kiss and it was a new year's party and everybody was like well get it over with tonight. We have the we have a perfect specimen. He's open to participating. Just do it. So that's how i had my first kiss in. I remember in the moment of it thinking. Like i'm not meant for this like i am not like i'm not cut out for this like i'm not good at being a woman. I'm not good at this stuff. I'm not confident. I don't have like this confident. Weightiness about me. That i imagine the ideal woman does have. I don't look the way that i should. I didn't feel like worthy of receiving any kind of male attention. You know because i was like i don't fit the fucking mold like why should any guy like me or be interested me or even fucking kiss me even if it's forced on new years because i had my first cat it's like i didn't feel like i deserved appreciation in a way from men because i didn't feel like i fit the mold my first highschool relationship that never even actually turned into a real relationship because it only lasted two weeks absolutely went up in flames partially because i think that i had a crush on the idea of this boy rather than the actual reality of who he was not that he's a bad guy but just like he wasn't the type of guy i thought he was right so i think i kind of had a crush on the idea of him which was the first misstep but the second misstep was that once we started kind of going on dates in a way i just didn't have the confidence to behave like a normal human being because again i just didn't feel like i was worthy. I felt like. I was a phony almost i was like. I'm not a real woman like. I don't have boobs. I don't have a but like i don't fuck in. I don't know how to give off this. Like essence of hotness. Like in any fucking way i don't i don't wanna fucking do that like i was like i am not prepared for this like i don't fit the mold in. I can't do it. Basically every romantic situation. I got myself into in highschool blew up in flames. Because i felt so underqualified. I felt underqualified physically. Because i felt like i didn't look the part i felt underqualified mentally because i felt like i didn't have the personality of a desirable woman. I felt like i wasn't experienced enough as well because i had very few experiences. Because all of them had been stopped by my feeling of inadequacy and it was just this absolute trainwreck. His absolute trainwreck. And you know. I also had a few bad experiences as well. That kind of made it worse. Like i remember. I had this massive crush sophomore year of high school on this guy and he was like this guy that a lot of girls liked and fuck. I can't believe i'm telling this story way out. this is kind of spicy. Okay and.

Coming up next