Glenn Stanton, Stephanie discussed on Cross Examined Official Podcast
Yeah i knew that cohabitation. I'd seen the studies and ready to read a little bit about how it puts a couple that ends up getting married at a disadvantage but it actually surprised me. How strong the evidence is that. Basically glenn stanton our friend at focus said if you going to invent a way to put a marriage at a disadvantage. It'd be hard to find something more effective than living together now. That's kind of counter intuitive. At least to many young people. When i talked young people say you think it helps someone to live together. I like even a lot of christians will say. I think it's wrong but it's probably going to help them and then i'll say the study shows the opposite. Why is that the case. And there's a number of reasons here number one. Being men and women tend to have different expectations in cohabiting relationship. Women tend to approach this like. This is a step of commitment towards ultimate commitment. A man tens of you like this is just a step where i get what i want without bigger commitment and i can leave tomorrow if i want to leave tonight so that disparity is different seconds. My wife and i differ about something or were upset there. Something we have. They gives us a freedom that doesn't exist in a living together couple and that thing we have is called commitments. My wife knows both of our wives. Stephanie no we're not leaving them and were committed to him as much as she's upset with me i'm going to here and we're going to work it through and were going to find a way that doesn't exist in a cohabiting relationship. So what happens. Is people move in together and they think it's simulating a marriage relationship. But it's lacking the very component that makes a marriage relationship work and so when it's all said and done my students will say things like well you get to see if they put the you know the the cap back on the toothpaste or how they make their coffee in the morning..