How to get your partner on board with a budget?
Sometimes it self esteem quite often, especially the man in a relationship will often feel inadequate if there are money problems in the relationship. And and so does he feel inadequate? And that's why he doesn't wanna feel like there's a budget. If so, then how can you help him feel more adequate. Wit? No, I think that's great. You know, maybe maybe certainly starts with the question of, hey, what is it going to take to get us on the same page with the budget and just leave it open ended and that will present for the the objectives, some objectives being. I'm thinking about this too, man. Let's let's say that. You came to me and you're like, hey, dude, we just moved to Los Angeles. You know, we got gotta come up with the budget, whatever you. I'm just throwing a scenario out there. We have to come up with the business budget and I just looked to you and said, no, sorry, I'm not going to do that. Yeah, late. How long is the business relationship? Gonna last right? If you can't, if you can't get on the same page with money with your romance. I mean. I'm not couples isn't always best to work the other. So I'm not trying to to say that if you can't work with your spouse in the business, then you probably shouldn't be married home. That's that's not what I'm trying to say here. What I am trying to say though, is that when it comes to a romantic relationship, you should be even more willing to cooperate with that port person more than what a business relationship is. If you can't talk about money in a relationship, then you shouldn't be in a relationship. Absolutely. Specially in a long term committed relationship, and that's that's important. So yeah, I grew. So what you're saying Ryan is listening is key there when you're you're going and you're asking the question, but then you're stepping back and saying nothing. You're saying nothing at all. You're simply listening to those objectives and you're considering those. You don't want to dismiss them. But think about each objective in more important. Think about what is behind the objective might be the self doubt, self esteem issues, the inadequacy, it could be fear. Maybe he has some sort of fear of, well, if I start a budget, I'm not. Going to get x or y or z. And if that's the case, show him how he can get x, y, and z. In fact, maybe feel more secure and getting those things with a budget. Last thing that also here is I get defensive when one of two things happen if I'm offended. So if I were to come to you Ryan to put a business budget together and you like, screw you. Of course, I'm gonna get offended me, right. I'm going to get defensive right by definition. That's when when when you start to get defensive, right, especially like if you came to me and we're was voicing a concern and being, you know, being very kind and legitimate and it was a legitimate concern is look at you and say, FU. Yeah. Now you could also be postponing say you had only talk about that right now. That's fine. Wind, should we talk about? Let's get a date on the calendar right now and it doesn't have to be immediately. Let's get a date on the calendar next week so that we can talk about this our saintly. That's that's what I would say, hey, can we sit on the budget and he's going to say, no, I really don't wanna talk about right now. No problem. I told. Understand that I support you in that you're not in the right mind space. In fact, let's give ourselves a week so we can get in the right psychological space to discuss this without any emotions discusses very objectively. And so how about next Wednesday, we sit down and we talk about this at six PM and the other time that I get defensive and, and this is when it happens more often than not. And a lot of relationships. Certainly with me, a lot is when I feel out of control, I feel like I've lost control now me personally, I'm I have control issues. I, I know that I'm a bit of a control freak and letting go of that control. I've learned over the last several years is the best way to regain a different type of stronger, emotional control being willing to let go. I mean, it's the reason we work with other people. Now I'm not in here running the cameras on I self because I need to figure that out. We have Joe Nomo over here. That's the the YouTube commerce have have given him that that's the brief. Yeah, Joan. Yes, we have podcast Sean, we have Jessica have Jeff, and we have David. We have our partners. We have all of these different people in our lives that I have to relinquish control to right now. Siblings husband might be feeling like he has lost control, possibly and show. So what do you need to do?