Dodd, JAY, Smith discussed on Liminal Podcast
Be it kind of blessing and a curse row because you see amazing sights being jay. Smith's i was letting in everybody down last ridiculous because you talk about mental health and vulnerability and h embarrassing. I'm not proud. Of the fact. That i i was determined to try and hide this because of south what yeah. I'm kind of now. I think almost. I would say if we talk about that period. I mean that is a physical mental battle like not many people will facing that life nor should they have to face it yet. Because that's so hard will. What do you even do you with day today because boastings a flaring up. I mean you'll mental state in time. Obviously you're at the lowest you probably fell as a person who's felt so so high that kind of power must have really weighed on your heads so much. Chenille d'amato self-analysis you were probably doing. Not time was probably so intense. Yes and see much. So because i've always known the answer is something needs doing affects it and i think a conflict or i'll i'll find somebody who can and with this. There was no answers to anything you know. I didn't know how long i was going to be in this painful for a moment and it's it really hard one dodd but dodd which is ten years ago. That was just like that and we didn't come in so there was no warning and that that was almost easier because it just happened but with they told you it was going to happen and just went on for months and months. The worst thing about that was weirdly for someone who so who believes their own intellectual horsepower. A lot i. I was ridiculous. Any slightest positive. Ray of light that i saw be like she going to be fine. She's not she's not going to be. Okay you gotta realize that. And i was like listen. I know what i'm saying. Then wade lay the two days before my mom passed away. She she was fine and she genuinely was fine. She was over sudden. Choose for vice useful life. She was laughing and joking. And i wrote muster and said but she's fine. She's got she's incredible. It's a miracle. And i'm not particularly someone who believes in miracles. It turns out that happens quite a lot when people are going to going to die. And i didn't know that and so that was kind of a mom's last rally an felt kinda elated for about two hours and then rather stupid when things went downhill but econo- look for anything in my own problems didn't matter that point but yeah so it was. It was really hard. And say. Because i've never dealt with anything that was before it was difficult for me to say right. It was going from. Everything's fine life's great. No problems at all over sudden everything went relevant for me personally. And the person that the Malign yeah i bet it was a great difficult time but i guess in some ways the lessons he learned during that time and the experiences that you went through particularly talking about your health situation in the the hip replacement. Now that you've come through that. I guess you must feel like you've come at something. Yeah you you're right. I mean speaking on I felt quite humiliation for longtime by the condition. You know one thing. I didn't want to be was walking with a stick and i'm working with the coach and needing help to do stuff you know. Can you go and do this for me was. I'm not that person really but not because of how three definitely not. I expect it but it puts speaking on. You know it was really difficult. And i think that i feel kind of empowered by the fact that i'm now walking Able to move freely. And what's way because the lockdown thing the for this kind of new normal of you both twenty eight days later longtime ago. Yes yes right right so you know the start one in murphy's and kill him if he's in the hospital and he comes out and it comes down to london wearing the gallon deserted. That's what was like for me. I came out. the hospital. came also in lockdown came out with hospital by hospital manchester just empty. There was no straight. And i wasn't wearing a gateway but i'm not time anyway something though i was wearing something but it became really difficult because power. I wasn't i wasn't wearing surprised me and i was looking face. Go just took lies like it was just normal but what was to may which kinda strange replaces of quebec thing you know and i i. It was performed by robot widely. It was a human that control. Would it wasn't just like because see three pl or anything but speech was he called the medical troy golden infrastructure pod bay. Something being nine. Maybe a hater. Nobody star wars. Jack i do. I already done solos. Math class ridiculous star trek as well. That's even more ridiculous. Captain kirk all the white. That's what i wanted to be a way to begin naming but yeah yeah absolutely callaway but anyway robot fitted a hip replacement and the recovery. Quite quick but you need physio and you always been using. The muslim electra. A long time an amazingly old hospitals closed three days after after their surgery..