Listen: Dr King, Patriots, Yang Hoskin discussed on Made Of Human with Sofie Hagen
"I was like Oh my God. I usually you WanNa make these jokes. These comments people just look at me as if I'm really strange and this is incredible and I think for me in my childhood that was just they went room for feelings. There's no room for feelings known should feel anything feelings a bad and weak and bad yes same so instead we joke yeah so like if I was so full and I like hurt my knee something and I was like doc crying or about to cry. We would laugh at it like. Oh my God you look so stupid when you fell over and then you just learned. How can we laugh it off. You look stupid. Ha Ha ha do not show weakness do not show weakness yeah so that was my also then that's why I didn't fit into all of these spaces with these well assist women because they had been socialized to feeling their feelings and like softness and it's okay to cry and it's okay and I hadn't had that socialization because I was like do not show emotions laugh it off yeah same same same. I mean we could obviously not just we could talk forever. We will talk forever 'cause we his first thing Yang Hoskin if you think that the the comedy circuit is like as well but it's just circles within circles of context and how people see you because I I think that then within the comedy circus like whether people read you as funny or not is why they laugh more or less or set. Oh yeah you mean now you can do the same set in a comedy club with a lot of like Hindus and stack news weather or really laddy and then you do it in your own night words feminists who respect women as whether or not they see you as funny when you walk on stage yeah. That's that totally. That's why when I get to lads comedy class where try not to do because it's damaging mental health. I hate it but I I can't just go up and be like here is a joke you have to go. GAM FAT and here's a joke about that so now you can relax a bit and had to be more aggressive more masculine more leg self deprecating kind of have an that trust. I they feel comfortable with me because a second that the MC goes here is a a female comedian and she they just tense up where they go to the bathroom or they're all like this is not going to be funny is in their hats. Yeah where if it's my own audience who in their heads alike we are going to see so behave and and I like comedy is this will be funny. It's different even though it's exactly the same joke in the world imagine being straight system and knowing that one day the voters will rise drown on you and you've had the best years of your thank you see where can people oh well all. I mean usually I would ask the last question but you've already answered that. How many do you think that would be different. Now the baby question yeah. Maybe try delivery room little jody. They have just been born and they come screamy. I can see you being really read in your face being born yeah yeah screaming and crying and screaming and crying. This is all very terrifying and scary in this lights and sounds everywhere and you now holding yourself as a tiny baby. Little Jodi is like looking at you like with the flags. This is his life. Is this what life's going to be what the fuck and you know exactly what's going to be up until this point way. You're twenty five yeah. You know what's going to happen homelessness. That's a quiz stuff. That's drama and you know what's going to happen is going to be lots of lights and sounds everywhere but you get to say something so yourself about what life is going to be like. You can't change China things. That doesn't giving any kind of instructions so advice doesn't work. That's not what this is. The baby you going. What is life. What is it going to be like. What would you say to teeny tiny baby jody. I would say enjoy all these lights and sounds uh-huh now because pretty soon you'll be traumatized and you'll stop experiencing any of them my a little joke. Let's say you're going to become really obsessed with Harry Potter and the first time you take the pot amore quiz. You're going to be sorted into Griffin Dole. You'RE GONNA be so happy about it an annual. GonNa steal your friends email now so that you can re-sign into pomace that you can take the quiz again about a year later and it's GonNa sort you into southern because you're having a really bad day. Hey you're gonNA freak out and you're GonNa WanNa whether you were slithering neo going to do that quite a lot throughout your entire childhood. You're gonNA wonder whether you're about person or a selfish person because you're only going to think about other people already. GonNa think about yourself. Then anytime you think about yourself you can think selfish about being Nautilus Letheren. You're Nelson aggressive dog or a Raven Clo- really clever people who understand that especially not sophie who hates Harry Potter which the main reason you're doing this now. You're nice bus and so we're going to be okay. The end result that I think so yeah I still panic about being about person or selfish person swarms about setting boundaries with people. This is easy to believe. You're Jio thing about that. Selfish and bad people don't think that selfish and bad people only think about being that because you're not yeah. It's like that thing about how site psychopaths never wonder about whether the recycle path. I don't know sometimes sometimes sometimes you talk to people that you know are very selfish and very bad but they're very gotta disarming you by talking about how they worry that US officials band so then it feeds into the feeling that maybe you could be doing that as well especially when you're a performer and a lot of your life is taking taking up space on the stage and a lot of the way that you promote that is you know it's all self promotion doing social meter about yourself and getting an agent in by telling them how great you are people's thoughts yeah exactly a gift me on petrol and I'll tell you some more which is it's all very easy to convince yourself. You'll you'll selfish and bad and then it's as his whole whirlwind doesn't it but it is just trying to ground yourself in like the fundamentals of like good stuff the day we'll just you know existing that you do this about thing a selfish thing so cater have self care at so. Keta boundaries. It's okay to just be existing you think ever about not it not needing to be definitive because I feel like my go-to reaction would be to say you definitely not a bad person. You are definitely not selfish and that sort of feels destructive in a way because I think in a way what you probably should say is while sometimes you're probably a bit selfish. Sometimes you're probably a bit of a bad like not just you but like people you'll be a bad person. Sometimes you'll be a good person. Sometimes you'll be. That's hired person. You'll be a flawed person sometimes you you'll be more selfish another time because you're tired. Oh don't have energy or I feel. We should all also leave room for sometimes times fucking up and you know we can't being a good person. What even is that. Does that mean you have to sidestep yourself all the the times and only do things for others so yeah you know like. When do you also have to prioritize yourself otherwise you're going to end up burning yourself out and then you can't be anything for anyone one yeah so maybe selfishness is sometimes the right thing to be and we just have more than one word for selfishness right. There's like south. Prioritization does something because sometimes you do have to look after yourself in order to be able to look at other people and also complicated Kato. If you're in any way an empathetic person people will automatically take more from you and demand more from you because you you meet them with this. Hello I am a person who will always care for you. I am a person will always take a feeling that you consider it. I you know and then people you know when you if you suddenly start setting boundaries within like inside of a already functioning friendship or relationship people people will start to feel that as a criticism or an offense where you've from the beginning where like I have clear boundaries. I'm GonNA think of myself. They would never have coach selfish if you said boundaries you know what I mean yeah which is why it's so boring and frustrating setting them now but Kinda freaked the faulk. How wow that is when I the first time I I'm going to say the first time I learned setting boundaries it that is sort of it was not like I've learned that fully but that was when I was just doing everyone's homework. Everyone's it's homework like saying. No no everything anything for anyone saw. I was like seventeen eighteen. I told my therapist was lacking needs to step sat saying I know and I was like what I'm so Skopje. We're going to be angry with me and I thought he was going to say no. Of course they won't but she said Yeah they will get furious with you. They will see it as a personal insult and they'll get really angry with you but then after a certain tire like certain amount of time. They'll just be back to liking for you. They need to realize up. It's not about them is just you changing and that's okay because the only media thing about them yeah so. I think it's worth worth knowing that that's going to happen so that when it happens you don't see it as oh shit. I'm sorry no no no. I'm sorry for setting the boundary on them retreat on again exactly yes SS black. You're going to hate me now for a month. Go into your hate corner and then if they don't return that's because they were on your friends with you because it could get things yeah conditional additional friendship Jesus so toxic so talk sorta May at burnden how we're just going to continue doing this. We're going and like switch off the microphone and then just continue to off the words. They isn't recorded that. You can't get Patrie on money. We should just have these on all the time but didn't even tell you about out. The extra bit doesn't exit I'm doing now on my Patriot where I asked six questions and then there's an athlete recording I ask people questions agents and then that bit goes on Patriots. Okay we can do that. Yeah okay good four now. Though where can people find you stuff you can follow all of the work I do with pets. Dr King's by following Dr King's can come and see me as this John Travolta my plus Ouija Macho male persona think just our pack strack on twitter Dr King's on facebook. I think Patrick instagram probably you can follow everything I do with my queer all women in a non binary comedy collective the lowered by following out lowered comedy on all platforms.."