Robert Shaw, Louis, Storebrand Goto discussed on Everything is Alive

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Hey, everyone in here a quick favored. Ask it's time for our annual audience survey. So we're hoping you could take a few minutes to share some information about yourself and give us a little feedback about the show. It'll take less than ten minutes, and it is a really big help. Just visit survey, nerds dot com. Slash alive. That's survey. Nerds dot com. Slash alive the nerds or us. Not you and thanks so much. Let's let's just start settle in. Have you introduce your self force? My name is Louis and I am can of Gota cola. That's Storebrand Goto g. to go. So it's similar to Coca Cola similar people, call it a knockoff. I've been called the best of the worst. You know, if you wanted to get my honest opinion, I believe in a blind taste test, your average person wouldn't be able to tell the difference between me and a can of regular Coca-Cola. But yeah, bottom shelf we can describe it comfortably. His bottom shelf. I met peace with that. Literally on the most of the time. Yeah. Okay. Well, I, there's, there's a lot I want to talk to you about today. Do you need any water or anything? No, I'm completely self-contained. I want to ask you about your time before you ended up in the fridge, you're in now, so you you, I take it. Were you were in a supermarket? Yup. And where where were you? I was going to Safeway. I was bought at a case, so there were twenty four of us. We were all purchased together and actually our next residents was a bowling alley for a twelve year old birthday party. I saw most of the rest of my case drunk at that party. I was not drunk. I was saved for later and brought home and put into a refrigerator and then forgotten about for a few months placed in the back of the fridge. Sure. I froze in the fridge was in the very back and the temperature got very cold. I didn't freeze all the way through, but I had a frozen couple of weeks pretty learn your slushy inside. I was lush inside. Yeah. And I had a brief adventure. When they realized I was still in the fridge, and they took me out for a road trip. I got to sit in the front seat Cup holder, you know? Yeah. And I took a little fun road trip down to Florida. And then back again and they never got around to drinking the on that trip, and they put me back in the fridge, and that's where I've been ever since. It sounds like you were almost chosen so many time. What does it feel like when you're say at this birthday party and you're waiting for your moment. We ever seen the movie jaws. Yeah. So you know the story that that Robert Shaw tells to rob ROY Scheider and the other guy. Anyway, you know the story about the USS Indianapolis or he's in the water, and the sharks are coming, and he's waiting to be picked off and he's waiting and having that long dark night and one by one is his friends go. That's kind of what it was like. For me, it was terrifying. And on the one hand, I was very angry at human beings for being in this position to consume us. And then on the other hand, I was also very angry how come you didn't wanna consume me. Yeah. When you when you think about being consumed by human, do you think about the human that you wanna be in. If and when I'm finally consumed, I hope I'm consumed by someone who enjoys it. But I like to imagine. That if you're drunk immediately that instead of being painful process, there's the sort of first moment of relief. The is cracked open. All of this internal fizzing that I have going on finally has somewhere to go. Just sort of round out from your external. Can we have that last moment where you're filling your purpose and beginning to blend in with this human being and you become part of their story. Truthfully, here's how I expect to go assuming that I am consumed. I'm expecting. It's going to happen in the middle of the night. We're, I'm not waiting for it and someone's going to open the fridge and pull me out. And that'll be that. It would be nice to be poured into nice, big pine glass. You know. Frosty Naga be pretty good way to go. Happy pleasant. You know, I doubt that's going to happen though. They don't reserve frosty mugs for Goto colas. That's just another one of those facts of life. How did you see jaaz? Oh, the human being who lives in my house was watching jaws. They took me out of the fridge and kept me on the table. And I thought this is it. This is my big moment. Kind of part of me. There was the Robert Shaw scene where he's telling the story of the Indianapolis, and I was thinking, boy, this is just too perfect. This would be amazing and he was reaching for me. He was going to go for me. And then at the last minute, you know, another human being came into the house and scolded him on not drinking soft drinks. I pulling back in the fridge. Wow. Yeah, I would have been perfect. Yeah. You know, I should ask you. There's a lot of talk right now about the health effects of soft drinks. People tend to think of of them as very unhealthy shouldering d, do you feel unhealthy? Do I feel unhealthy.

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