Manchester, Partner, Football discussed on Coming Out Stories
For what does on media this is coming out. Stories is about cost about one of the most important conversations if you life. I'm I am ago swell from mark. He grew up in rural wiles and says that pre incident. It was pen pals that helped him discover his sexuality but it was really appearing on T._v.. Stars in there is that lets him coming out on the big scale. Think of always known is about the age twelve thirteen when you're in school and you do Imperio of you went through the motions how to go friend <hes> justify in really and then I didn't do anything about it's all until it was the when when I did start when it was twenty so that was the February of ninety five I met my first partner just by chance in Wales of living in living in Wales lifting parents house so yeah I ah feelings but I've never done anything about it really is that because he was sort of rural community didn't feel like there was anyone to sort of you. Know Approach talked about it with yeah. It was exactly exactly that WHO's very white middle-class little village. She no one bus a day. The nearest town was was wrexham so it was a case of having to buy Gay Times back in them. Does you know going walking past Smith's about five times and pen pals. You know that was the way he used to do it. <hes> back then didn't you in this is the ninety nine hundred as I'm guessing nine hundred eighty early nineties yeah yeah yeah give a major darling. I you still younger than me. I remember the heart but that's interesting isn't it. The many people talk about this but actually how the gay media and particularly the print back in the day was really important for discovering sexuality and becoming part of that community yeah definitely was was all we had back in the day then you cat locks. It was the the way forward you know of Ryan's people trying to get in touch with other people who you felt the same you know I didn't have any of that in Wales and opposite WANNA speak to anyone about it. In case you outed and ridiculed. You want to be part of the pack don't you when you're younger so kept him ahead ahead. Tell us about the pen pals and this is interesting. Yeah I call Appel. Pen Pal was in Manchester and there was an ice breakers group in Chester which I thought Goto am I went to that seventy and went to warm wasn't really really for me and I think again wasn't probably ready in my own ad you know to unleash onto the world but yeah I met a lot friends through the pen pals of things I'm not even into like football. You know the gay Football Sports Network Group Yeah I used to write to WHO <hes> now friend twenty years later still in Cardiff so was still friends now when I've never been into football but it's funny. I'm things bringing together isn't that big gay brought together. We'll we'll yeah exactly yeah yeah so tell us about what it was like them writing someone in Manchester in what compatibly a big city so what saw things were you you writing to this person about just like day-to-day things really mad about experiences you know and he says if you I want to go to a gay club I'll say obviously that's why I was fishing edging towards the end of you know going out with meeting somebody but I didn't want it to be you know going down there. We meet one another. I didn't have to sleep with him. You know to stay as an all this business business so what was very very sheltered. She we say sexually even Mateen's really so. I didn't want anything about to happen. It's all see never even went to Manchester. You never went to a gay ball. All three teenagers edges <hes> no no I went to Cardiff. When I was nineteen? We want one of the pen pal friends from the football group and he put me up. Nothing happened and I didn't want it to either you know from that Phnom you know I knew it was a wanted. It was breaking away. Why why why is it so hard to have that conversation with with people in wells with family with your friends because you don't know anyone else is like you really you know it's always been partner? Designers Aces twelve thirteen. It's always I didn't know what had been different but it's not really been a problem either but also it must have been a problem looking back because you didn't want to unleash to anyone she didn't want to. You didn't know what you were going to be with. You know that's a hell of a secret to hold for over eight years. If you'll look formative years yeah yeah definitely and that's when I think in one thousand nine hundred five when might myself life began when I came out you know those are the most fondest memories in my life is was the nineties you know move moving to Manchester and have a new life and you know okay well. Let's talk through your coming out to experience them because I think it's fair to say it's quite a unique Kwan and there was a T._v.. Program that was instrumental in you coming out yeah yea stars and rise opposite the X. factor of the day the call it now yes so I was working in a residential unit pre social work coming onto my social workers to debate karaoke there. Uh is into Asia. This Gill said you sound like him. So you know why don't you go for an audition wasn't not bothered went for this audition. They asked me for a second audition. Start taking it more serious than again. Call on the show so you had. Did you do the whole tonight. Matthew say say. I don't say he's supposed to say tonight. Matthew all go tonight Matthew. I want to be tonight Matthew. I'm going to be <music>. I'm developed over Asia. What you said to the nation yeah as I said that was filmed in February and my parents came to that moment dot and just by chance they said would you do Christmas special <music> so why the set Sola you know the film not altogether in these would be in a Christmas of that year so that kind of meeting dont we say Antje? Why did you sing what what what made it so office about you portraying very openly out camp gay man on T._v.? That made them that you thought you know portray carrots and you're acting up but even must you Kelly says you news of of a mind into do after your your jobs where the spangler outfit bleach blond hair at a pink feather Boa and I think it had a bit too well it was quite a camp performance small yeah yeah walls yeah totally way out there yeah yeah so that conversation and did it with your dad while he was still at the T._v.. Studio or afterwards so no it was <hes> after the show because they asked me to come back and do another one. They like what I did and he sat me down and he said I don't think do the show people saying you guy you know his dad was I am I dot dot and I was like <hes> you know because I was. He was nineteen strong enough. You know what's up my own opinion. I said no I'm doing it. I wanted to enjoyed it Muslim. Doing you WANNA be performer. You want a singer enjoy. It was a good way in then in the nineteen minutes to get an agent at work with no money doing your material so it was it was great platform for me. You know it really was source said no way I'm not doing it and then he didn't come to the next recorded so my granddad came my mom yeah that's been decided to go all of it we it in terms of mine and his relationship and obviously see mark at the time my granddad my my mom's dot one came to the show we from London you know that quite cool and everything but obviously I didn't want to tell them either. You know he's one of those things we just saw well. They must know now the nobody's talking about it about the conversation with Dr so he said don't do the show because people will think you'll gay actually actually ask you mark. Are you guy no no eating say the words no I didn't now and then Jim member boys magazine and the pink paper yeah that's true yeah. They were all around the U._K.. Well it was this is a around that time as well e found one of them boys magazines so I think he's confirmed it's him but we didn't. We didn't talk about set and then as this after I did the second show people must have been talking in work you know with him on then he said. If I may rain is true you know to will not allowed to come back here you can aviv. I don't want not the lot ev around the house again which was then partner. Not Sweating all went a bit weird me and Madame Partner we went on holiday think two weeks in the May to visa and then I said look I'm going to tell him going to write a letter and do it that way the cowardly way the cowardly way but also deny we react or something you know because he's a mom's man so you don't if you're GONNA get a Wacko doc or something yeah. It was quite acceptable to do that. You know in the seventy s dot O._R._G.. To Walk You know we've rob fine not abused or anything like that but it was seen as okay wasn't it so <hes> wrote this latter to them. I said <hes> I'll come down. Give you a a couple of days to process that. Come down to discuss it with you. See if still lived there where we're up so did the went down a couple of days later. There wasn't much conversation. He was lie to minute thing when you can still live here but not lie here who is all a bit weird finished the conversation Imam Luckily minimums very supportive and then left again so follow in two weeks after that you wouldn't really look me in the I saw I laughed so to go back to recordings then your mom and your Granddad Eh happy and say they didn't have that conversation with the time and grow all. Why are you being Andy Bell on T._V.? or You guys they didn't say any of that. They just supposed to do for your recording. Yeah Yeah Associates doing this carrots into Simpson I wanted to do won't be an issue about it but obviously the gay thing was massively an issue for Madame people you know saying you know areas may be is we've always suspected and this is always telling us really and then how after the performance then went to be through wrote this latter recorded in the February nineteen ninety-five you might want drone all these dates actually went on wikipedia google them because they have old shows with your name yeah so that was the February and then we recorded noted the.