Kristen Kristen, Kristin, Depression discussed on Parenting Great Kids with Dr. Meg Meeker

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

The bottom line is that it's hard to tell if your daughter is having a kindergarten melt down syndrome, or if she's really defiant, so you need to give it time and time will tell but I'll bet you by next summer or sooner you'll see your old daughter return. My next question is from Kristen Kristen said, I'm no I'm a little behind, but I heard your podcast on gender identity issues. I wanna say thank you for touching on such a sensitive subject. I have a daughter who's seventeen she told me about two years ago that she felt gender fluid within last year. She has now said she's trench gender up until seventh grade who was a normal girl. Not even a tomboy in seventh grade. She said, she was a lesbian, then she said, well, I'm not a lesbian. I'm bisexual in the ninth grade. She had a long term boyfriend at the end of the relationship. She said that she was transgender now at seventeen she's planning to start her reassignment when she's eighteen this is so scary to me even still sometimes she gets all dolled up in makeup how or what can I do to help her before she makes changes that could affect her the rest of her life. Well, Kristen you're in a very tough situation. But I encourage you don't freak out. Clearly, your daughter's really confused about who she is true transgender kids know that something is different with them when they're very young. The fact that your daughter keeps changing her mind tells you she's experimenting. Here's what I would do. I rather than make this agenda identity issue or a sexual orientation issue. I would approach her and say that you're concerned that she's struggling was some feelings that are deep, and it she needs to figure out what those are. Talked to her about your concerns about what's going on be Neath. The changes ask her questions and listen to her answers without lecturing her if she knows that you're empathetic, and you're not gonna lecture her she'll keep talking to you. She won't talk about what's going on now because she knows that you want to change your mind, which is true. And I don't blame you ask. If she's struggling with depression or self-doubt, ask her about a relationships with kids at school. You know, there are many kids who wanna transition because they think it's cool to get attention. And there really are kids who want to transition because it's a fad after you've established better communication, tell her that you support her. But before she transitioned, she needs to know a few things she needs to be one hundred percent sure that this is what she really wants. And that being a man is what she believes down. Deep is true point out. The fact that she keeps changing her mind, and that makes you concerned that she has. As an arrived at that point yet of knowing that she's certain she wants to be a man also tell her that once she transition, she gives up her ability to have children, she will become infertile tell her that the transition will not be reversible and ask her if she's ready to be a man when she's forty fifty and sixty teller in a matter of fact manner finally encourage her to wait until she's at least twenty three or twenty four to make a decision. This is a very reasonable request since the medications and surgery are permanent and at twenty three twenty four she'll have the capacity to make a better lifelong decision, so ask her to pause and give yourself time if she really wants to become a man that's not going to change over the next seven or eight years chances are excellent that this time will help her understand her true beliefs. Remember to communicate? It to her that your love for her will never change regardless of the decisions. She makes that gives her tremendous freedom not to feel defensive finally find some women friends who can support you and keep you from exploding with anxiety. This is really tough stuff. But as I said before never parent out of fear, but out of strength Kristin. You can do this parents, you know, I love answering your questions, so please keep sending them in to me..

Coming up next