Facebook, Youtube, Olivia Mine discussed on Gold with Jeanette Schneider
Sort of stopped me in my tracks and I was like, we we haven't even okay, we're going to dinner right? We haven't even arrived at the restaurant and you're already focused on how we're going to be billed are staged for our audience, you know, and I I remember saying to her in the bathroom we went on you know, how girls going a bathroom break together and I sort of put my hands on her shoulders and I said, who are you living for down? You know, what about you? Where's the beauty in this moment? I feel like we rob ourselves of the beauty of a moment and the moment you can never get back. You know, I feel like this year should teach us more than anything just the future is always uncertain. We have this illusion that things are certainly make our plans. This is what we're going to do. We're going to go on vacation. We're going to walk with this, you know release this book. I'm going to have this edit done by this time. I'm going to enroll my child in this activity and we should do that. You have to organize your life, but I feel like wage. where the you know more than ever before 20-20-20 should confirm for us that the future is uncertain and our days are precious and every moment we have is so precious and if we live every day worried about what our audience thinks and you know, who's going to how many comments were going to get how how much attention you're going to get. We will have shuffled through our whole life never having been really known for who we truly are and living in a shadow of connection. And it's it's it's really the thing about social media is that it is very seductive because we are biologically wired as human beings for connection. We are meant to be in community. We need each other and really women are nurturing abilities. Like we we are biologically wired to have intimate conversations to have intimate connections and social media gives you a sort of like a carrot dangling. It's like seductively in your face, like, you know, it's nice there that connection and you can sort of have that Rush of that experience and Russia that connection but it it doesn't satiate you because it's really just a shadow of connection and I sometimes I compare Our social media to porn and people laugh, but I actually said this in another interview and not that I'm saying. There's anything you know, my beliefs about that or anything and I'm not even saying that's bad. I'm just saying there are you know, it's it's not people sometimes we'll replace true intimacy for porn like a porn addiction and I think a lot of times not a lot of times are some of the time people will replace true relationships for the connections that they build on social media because perhaps they have issues with intimacy, you know, maybe they don't they have some subconscious beliefs that they aren't worthy of being truly known they don't want people to know who they really are. I know that I you know kind of went through that for a long time in my twenties, I didn't realize it but I I think I had a real fear of being known. I thought that I I I didn't know that about myself. I know that now but I think for a long so it's not an uncommon thing, but I think social media dead. Can really fuel that sort of perversion in yourself. Your circle is everything and I like to invite you to join mine today. The love is viral show is brought to you by gold Circle unlived pocket coach our exclusive gold Circle membership includes over 130 pieces of content on self-development relationships money and vision weekly group coaching call a monthly webinars and access to our private lives community in real time for a fraction of the price you pay for traditional coaching. The gold circle is interactive as you share. We build courses and offer you the circle you have been looking for to move you to the next level in your life download the Live Pocket coach on Apple and select the gold Circle membership from the subscription options in the menu home. I'll see you in the circle. That's really interesting because well two things so I'm raising girls right my daughter and then my my partner's daughter, they're both 9 and first and foremost Olivia mine was upset because she didn't have as many followers as Mainland did and it was this whole thing kids don't like her will U like me will you share my stuff and I'm like your 9 and we're already upset about following and I had to pull it back. She actually recognized that her mood is worse when she's been on any type of social media. So if she watches a kid, she even went to Rome kids programming that is younger than her age because she said at least it always has a happy ending on Tik Tok and Instagram, there's all these emotions and people are upset with each other or they've got a sad story or they thought something that's mean at least on Sofia The First there's always a happy ending and it was like, how aware is that? Right? But it's a constant thing. We're we're like get off YouTube. No Tick Tock. She's not home. 2 gram not on Facebook. So we're very aware of it. It's something you thought was really interesting because I don't think that we show our true personalities even in the way that we comment with each other right phone number at one point in time. So I have a sense of humor and I noticed that I started to curb it cuz it can be a little bit dry and I noticed I started to curb it. Well one of my clients started following me on Facebook cuz I didn't want them to see my sarcasm or my wits or whatever cuz I was to my page anytime Emily girl. Here's what I would have said, so I started pulling it back because I was like, oh, like now people who I have professional relationships with our following me and then when my page start to become more public even with people that I'm following and I'm friends with have a tendency to almost be the lurker. I'll like your stuff or put something little but most of the time I won't even tell you what I really think or I'll send you a text and view like haha this cuz South There is almost kind of like there's an exposure and a vulnerability as well because we also have this experience of the troll, right and I've had several trolls so I'm saying we don't need them here. Yeah, but we're aware of them and so you have a tendency tendency all of a sudden to start to even though you want to connect you start to protect right you start to kind of pull back a little bit and you're careful about what you say you start questioning some of your you could have the best of intentions like I did a YouTube video with Olivia. She was a guest on my show and we talked about kids and emotional and social media and rather than recognizing the comment. I had someone post about what I was wearing next to my daughter and like I can't believe as a mom you would wear that in front of your kid, and I'm like whoa, like off point completely missed right but that there's things I think having such a voice in a public forum also tends to almost create this like dead. Barrier, I so know this plight that you're talking about. I tell you where I've arrived in the past year. I you know, I you and I are both writers. I write for a lot of magazines too. I'm a journalist as well. So I put out a lot of material in the world. It's red, you know by millions of people because of the platform that I write for I too have had trolls. I've had people say exalting things that they just like I'm I'm a hero I've had people say scathing things off and I just remember right it like no matter what I'm not defined by the amazing things they say and I'm not defined. I'm not defined by any of it and I am going to and I have to constantly check myself almost like I'm a little kindergartner like check. Do you have everything you need? Are you put together? You know, I have.