New York, West Coast, Goldman Sachs discussed on Finding Mastery: Conversations with Michael Gervais

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Wow this is interesting and I do this because I can also charge of Goldman Sachs to come and speak their conference in pay them and they'll pay me an obscene amount of money to do that. All Work Works. Okay so in that respect. Your new mission is really to help people unlock. And they've got an idea or a dream in the the. Yana helped him unlock. And there's two parts of this one is I want to understand from your perspective your psychology because you have unlocked. Maybe you're being serious about having eighty. I don't know yet. But you've unlocked your potential and created something that has been durable and meaningful net flicks and and and companies so. I do want to understand how you're helping others unlocked but to do that. Let's talk about like your framework. I think you're optimistic without a doubt like that's part of your framework of course correct me if I'm wrong and you're and then you have tripled down on trying to control what's in your control and you're not interested in China manipulate leverage or control what others are doing. You're solely focused or or laser focused on controlling mastering. What's in your control? Which are your thoughts and behaviors? Is that an accurate statement. No that's true too. And then you have an incredible amount of clarity for the passion that you want to live with. And then you're able to roll and deal with the difficult things you've got this perseverance thing. You got clarity of vision on the other side. So you're working towards in a mission minded purpose driven approach and you deal with setbacks whether they're internal or external well is that true. Yes yes doctor you. You've got me wired here. Okay good and then so. Let's pause there for a moment like what? How do you deal when you get a blow? You get a piece of information that is difficult right like your lead salesperson your co founder of CO founder. Somebody is pissed off agitated. They're ready to walk or are they just did walk. How do you manage that I'm trying to put it in the framework that you kind of have laid out and even though your Articulation of Kind of how I think is correct. It's not necessarily how I think that I think so either. Have a blind spot glover okay. Let's go as my my self analysis is different is that I've become convinced how little I actually know and how. How universally errant are my preconceptions of what's going to work? I've become convinced that ideas don't count for anything that nobody knows anything that the whatever I think is right might be right but it may not be right which means I set myself up in advance to be extremely comfortable with being wrong. This might be your crown jewel. This is this is what psychologists the nerd. All cognitive flexibility. Emotional flexibility is that you have space to say nothing is precious. Let's let's explore and your ego is not involved in what you say and do it is more the exploratory adventure in you. That has created space and imagining. You do the same for other people. Is that close. Yes that one actually gave me a little chill serious? That one is dead on budget much closer to how I actually feel but also how I think about myself. So that's one of your crown jewels and you know when your did your hair. Just stand up the. That's that's pile erection. It's a fun name right. But that's how I measure success every day mark is like how many times can I be so present in pure and true to something that my hair stands up. So I'm stoked that you just you just have one you know. I compete with purely because I have no hair. Oh goodness okay all right so space so you create space. And that's why in this appointment like that. It's I'm not saying I'm I'm spock. Here they don't have these emotional lapses and go and be disappointed and upset and of course that happens but it doesn't usually last long so quickly pivots to how do I turn this around. Ottawa compensate for this. What have I learned from this? What can I do differently next time? What what does drop you to your knees or get your scared because I hear this is one of my Struggles is that I- Dampened my ego in such a way that I love you and I think vibrate in a very similar way about this creating the space and I can. I can be wrong in a lot of ways. Like 'cause I sometimes hold onto precious idea but you know that that that is not becoming but then sometimes it looks like I'm Teflon and things just roll right off me when I'm missing. Get the kind of emotional connection of what's happening with people around me because it's devastating to them and so that's not how I am turned in some ways. That's one of res. Wonderful powers is that he he is tough on aspect to him like that which allows them to make incredibly difficult business decisions but including personnel ones. I have the opposite problem. So you getting back to the thing that hurts me Come is like it's almost the flip side of what I consider one of my real strengths. You know we alluded to earlier. The fact that I'd been in the magazine circulation subscription business that I've been in the mail order business. I was in the direct mail business. I had these businesses that your Internet businesses and there's something interesting about all of them which is at all of them are selling remotely. I'm not you know they're they're working with dealing with customers. You never see And I realized really early on that. I'm really good at that because I have. I don't know what it's called in your world. I call it remote empathy which is cool. I have the ability to sense. I mean everyone has most people have direct whereas you say something and you watch someone's face drop you go. I disappointed them upset them. The tricky thing is to recognize if I write an email to them. What's the reaction going to be and it's even more if you can say I'm doing a male a male letter you know. He's a male. How are they going to react to that? And I've always been good at that. I'm very tuned to that. But what it also means. Is that when I have to do something which I know in my center of my being is going to hurt somebody. It's really hard for me to a weakness. In a way that I owe it has to happen. I know that maybe deserve this. But it pains me so it's a pain I can't help I just feel there isn't constant. Celebrate Clintonesque I feel their pain very viscerally and that. That's a problem okay. Quick break to talk about compete to create. Okay we're in high stress times right now and the strength of your mind. It's being tested mine too and I sincerely hope that you and your loved ones are doing well that you're healthy. About four years ago coach Carroll the head coach of the Seattle Seahawks we built an online mindset training program to help other people really understand what we're trying to share with the athletes and coaches that we work with like from the mindset training perspective and the whole design is to help people like really thrive and never never. Did we ever realize that we'd be in a global state of emergency that we're in right now with this incredible level of stress? That people are experiencing. And so. Here's how this works is that it's easy to be you when there's not like pressure or consequence or stress but as soon as there is chronic stress on board even acute sometimes for for many people we constrict our ability to think creatively freely into be ourselves at the highest level. And so that's really what this course is about. It's an eight week. Online course will pull back the curtain to show you how the best athletes in the world and performance across the planet. How THEY TRAIN THEIR MIND. They organized their inner life. So you can do the same so you can apply those same principles in your life. If you know you have more in you that there is a better way to live to be you. And if the timing is eloquent for you punch over to compete to create dot net Ford Slash finding mastery and received fifty dollars for just being a finding mastery listener okay so compete to create dot net Ford Slash finding mastery. And now let's jump right back into our conversation. What shaped you were the Go BACK TO NEW YORK. I think it was. I I heard your. You've only leaked one little kind of New York accent in the whole time. We've been speaking and so you're very west coast in inoculated there In I'm imagining you grew up surfing on the west coast. You Surf Surf now on the West Coast yet when they took it up. Thirty though so yeah. It's a tough one cup. After puberty I served to I mean it is a tough sport in that way so good. Nice job okay. So go back to what shaped you. Early days I know that you've got a deep interest in the planet You've been a part knowles longtime the national outdoor leadership school. You're you've got. I think you're on the board for one percent for the planet. Yes right so you've got some sort of routes to mother nature and but I also want to understand what what are some of the big movers that shaped you. Whether they're people are events so those it that's a great path to literally and figuratively path to go down. Which is that what really did shaped me as a lot of my experience outdoors Because in some ways So many things happened there which have proxy or proxies for what happens in the has happened in the rest of my life largely unpredictability Risk taking The sense of not knowing where a path is going to lead or how. You're going to overcome an obstacle and having to figure it out on the way and I've been doing outdoor stuff ever since I was tiny and had parents who embraced the inherent dangers or risk. Taking and going out into the outdoors. I remember even like in in middle school. All you know in sixth grade. You know coming home and saying. Hey we're going caving in Albany and my rather than my parents. What do you out of your mind? You can't go underground they go. Oh that sounds amazing. Cool describe your parents in like three lines. My parents in what three lines like? A just a quick hit overview doing note surface to their their brilliance or loved risk-taking but not themselves no other selves. They love themselves all they. My father was extremely risk averse but hated himself for not being more risk tolerant and so I think he pushed the opposite onto me. Are Your risk taker. Or mitigate or risk-taker me too. Okay absolutely question about it. Yeah me too. I spent a lot of time In the back country and very dangerous environments working with some of the most extraordinary tip of the era performers in the world. And I like to. There's a friend of mine who knows listening to this conversation..

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