Partner, Bill Chopping, Beth Fisher discussed on Newsradio 950 WWJ 24 Hour News
May not be finding someone who has a similar personality to you w w J's Beth Fisher spoke with Michigan State University assistant psychology professor Bill chopping, but we actually one of the largest studies to ever look at something like this. So we looked at almost twenty six hundred couples, and we basically looked at does the personality of the person you're married to matter turns out, happy you are. And we looked at how happiness. Range all sorts of things, you know, how do you feel how do you how happy do you feel that particular moment? And we found a bunch of really really interesting things if your partner is really agreeable if their attention just person, so if they sort of are on top of things and into your soul is there extroverted if they're mostly stable all these things are good for your relationship. But one really surprising thing we found is actually it doesn't matter. Too much. How similar you are which is actually really counterintuitive, but rather just having a partner with London's positive traits is good for your relationship and for you. So you don't necessarily have to be compatible. But what should they be looking for? I think it's easy to get distracted by compatibility, and similarity, you know, a lot of these companies try to personally sell online, dating as you should look for someone who is similar to you that complements your traits. However, it looks like it doesn't actually translate to people being happy. Skier or even relationships lasting longer. So I think it's just better to focus on positive characteristics. Is this a nice person is responsible person? Because looks like those things are the larger predictors of you being happier in the relationship doesn't chemistry way into this though. I'm sure chemistry does way into it. But historically that's been hard to measure, and that doesn't necessarily translate to you being similar on a lot of things. Sometimes people just click. They like each other actually, the take home from the study. We did is actually we don't really know the exact science of why people get together. And that's both scary and fascinating to people looking for a romantic relationship. Did you draw any conclusions about all of this? You know, these sites like, Tinder and bumble and the online dating sites if they're really any good. I think they are good. So I think I need a platform that gets people interested in relationships will probably be a good thing. So it it caters to people looking for relationships. So in that sense. A lot of these online services are doing a good for people who want relationships, but it could be that they're targeting on the wrong things. So privileging similarity even when it doesn't predict things like happiness or how long relationship lasts. You know? I it could be better spent accentuating your personality traits or it seems that you like to do or potential dealbreakers dealmakers. Maybe those bigger things are what translate to better happiness that is MSU.