Gary, John Bunyan, Million Dollar discussed on Focus On the Family Daily Broadcast
It's always great to be here. Gary. This is perhaps the million dollar question. I'm not sure we may have a few million dollar questions in here, but is it really possible to change a husband? Let's go there. I like to use the word influence your husband, but we have to put it in the right context. Let me put it as a husband with his wife. If I try to turn my wife into a love, Gary, like he wants to be loved machine. That's the height of narcissism. But if I want to influence her so that she becomes all that God has called her to be in Christ, that's a holy pursuit. It says, the Christ loved the church, and part of that was wanting to make her holy. So it is a good desire to see your spouse grow into the person guide created them to be. It can be an. Evil desire. If you're trying to turn them into that, love me. Like I wanna be loved machine motivation is everything here, right? The difficulty in that though is we are born in this world as selfish creatures. That's the second nature that we all possess whether your husband or a wife. So how how do you get to the point where you can overlook or put asunder, though selfish attitudes and really look out for the best interest of your spouse. That's the other million dollar. I think it begins by dreaming with God about who he wants our spouse to be. So it's not just us, but we're sitting at the feet of Jesus and saying, who do you want him or her to be as a worker as a husband or as a wife as a friend as a son, or as a daughter and saying, how do I participate with what you're already doing in their life? And you might be surprised. God may take it into a direction. One of the things I mentioned here to just kind of give some perspective because some wise say with my husband was just a more committed Christian life would be so much easier. It'd be more fun. It would be better now you're taking off the list if it was, you know, spiritually leading in our family, pick up after himself. But, but then I use the story of John Bunyan who when he married his wife, his first wife died, so he married her and had several children already. He was put in jail for preaching the gospel without a license. And in those days, when you were in jail, they didn't feed you and they didn't clothes if you didn't have family that came and took care of you and tell us, oh, here's a young wife, barely married having to bring his food to the prison every day having to care for his kids. And in fact, because he wouldn't stop preaching the gospel, he was in prison as much as he lived with her outside of prison. So it's possible that supporting our spouse and who they would be in Christ can make life more difficult. That's why. Again, we want to look at the motivations. It's not about us. It's narcissism. It's about them being released to be the person that God created them to be. Let's go back to the changing versus the influencing. What is the difference? Let's be really clear about that. What is the attitude. I'm going to change my husband versus the attitude of I'm going to influence him. I believe biblical influence, and here's the challenge and the rub comes from setting the example pulses. The stronger gives way to the weaker. He says, follow me as I follow Christ throughout the bible. You see that the best way to influence someone is to be what you want them to be. Let that be contagious, let it invite them into a new way of thinking. The best way for me to stop. Gossiping is when I see a person in a very holy way, turn a conversation toward encouragement and blessing..