"I'm always reading quotes in your article is your stories your books, and I'm curious. So all the things you study, you know, sex is this huge swath. I mean, there's so many places to go deep. And so today, we're talking about your book, tell me what you want the signs of sexual desire, and how can help you improve your sex life, which I just found. Fascinating. I couldn't put it down. But I'm curious. Why did it seems so important to go deep on fancies? Like, how did you know? Like, this is the book because you did an impressive study of so many people. So what was that like that process for a few reasons, I decided to to write this book, I've had an interest in the topic of sexual fantasies for a long time as a sex educator, and I wrote a textbook human sexuality a couple of years ago where I had to review all the literature on sexual fantasies and in the process of reading up on what's out there. He just kept coming up with question after question that had never really been answered before. And so I just started compiling this whole list of questions and decided to to conduct this big study to to help us. Learn more about subject of sexual fantasies and talking to people about, you know, the study of is planning on doing people seemed really interested in the subject, and I thought that rather than. You know, doing this is, you know, say your series of academic papers writing it up as a book for for the general public seemed like a good way to go. Because I think a lot of us have these questions and concerns about whether our fantasies are normal and what we should do about them. How to talk about them? So I wanted to kind of give people to tools to be able to answer those questions. Did you get your questions answered you said there were so not answering? I feel like I feel like a lot of them were answered in this book. Tell me what you found that. Maybe it'd be the most fascinating research things that you're like, I never thought this would be why we've Amazon. Is there anything that sticks out to you or few things that you were like, I couldn't believe we found this data after four thousand people talking to four thousand Americans. A lot of things that that surprised me. I think one was sort of looking at gender and sexual fantasies and finding that women's fantasies were much more adventuresome in invents fantasies had much more emotional content in them than than gender stereotypes would would beat us to believe also that it was really interesting to look at we the people themselves in their sexual fantasies. That's not something that's really been explored in previous research, and in mind that most of us are Pristina sizing about changing ourselves in some way, intersects fantasies. Whether it's changing our body or personality or our age in in those changes are revealing of aspects of our personality and how we feel about ourselves more broadly. I find that these big connections between people's personalities and sexual histories, and what it is that they're famous about. So I thought it was really fascinating how are sexual fantasies seemed to say something very unique about how we feel. About ourselves where we are in our lives at any given moment women were more likely to see themselves as the object of desire fantasy whereas men were seeing themselves acting on there. Can you explain that? One thing that sort of revealed this in in my data was when I asked people, you know, how important is fantasizing about another specific person to you in terms of you know, what that does for your arousal level. And I find that men are much more likely to say that having a specific person in mind is really important for for the arousal factor in their fantasies, whereas women were were less likely to see that. So so for men having a very specific person in mind was was important whereas women must so because in their fantasies women are are more of this seeing themselves as the object of desire, and they're a central focus and feature of.."