Baseball, Corey Livingstone, United States discussed on OC Talk Radio
You're listening to the next chapter with Charleena's Charlie hedges and I'm speaking speaking today with my Special Guest Corey Livingstone who is a musician and an executive coach and he's written a quite interesting book titled Quiet Determination Unlocking the gates to unlimited limited success. Now we've been talking about accountability and what it would it talks what what it means to be accountable to yourself have accountability to others not not falling lean into the victim mentality but falling into the mentality that I can't take charge of my life and and <hes> this is all under quiet determination which I just love that Title I have a second question for you corey and and it and it comes comes from your book and I think <hes> This this second topic is essential forgetting what you want out of life in it's quite simple and you have pointed out to me in our in previous discussion that you must believe in yourself and that <hes> as you called in the chapter in your book m. i.. Good enough accepting the challenge. I think that self doubt is one of the most disabling disabling thoughts that prevents from taking the risk and having the courage to pursue our dreams. Do you have any suggestions for because so many people have self doubt and and and as you pointed out to me earlier you know we live in a culture that promotes self doubt that that promotes failure in that you're not good enough and so it's very difficult to rise above that to believe in yourself so do you have what kinds of suggestions would you have for. Someone tried to overcome self-doubt self-doubt from my experience something that's been bread into. You and I'm thinking it's it's from usually from could be either from your peers. Somebody in authority like your parents like your parents. Why can't you be like this? You're no good <hes> constant criticism. I know you're you're too fat. You're too skinny to this. Why wanted to do this <hes> so when you're when you're small you know the old saying as a sapling is bent so grows the tree so I believe a lot of that comes from early childhood you have to interrupt right not to say that my son decided very young he was he was he was really young? <hes> five six seven when he decided he wanted to be a professional baseball player but by the time he was ten it was set he wanted nothing else to do than to be a professional baseball player and he a crude the mental disciplines to do that and that's all he did was work on that but you know what we did is parents instead of saying <hes> <hes> you know that's a that's an impossible goal. It's one out of a million that make that goal. We didn't tell him that we we kept him involved in many things so it wasn't only involved in baseball but we highly supported ended his efforts in baseball and and gave him opportunities and I think you know it's one of the few things I'm proud of that. I think Y- you know we encouraged him to pursue that dream that he had as a young child and and here he is playing professional baseball for the San Diego padres now oh congratulations congratulations see that's the quite determination. That's act like patience. Can I think I can just get support from others rather than the negative feedback. Oh come on no one can. You'RE NOT GONNA make you're not gonNa make the big leagues. No one can make that. That's just that's just too hard. We didn't say that but he it was a very gifted athlete so we knew we had you know. There was somewhere jeans exactly well. You know if you have they're all you have to do have to have the door material right so you know that's important important but that's only half the story and like you say the germination to do is the other half because there's lots of lots of talented bums out there you know yes there are and and and some of them them are actually have made it to the professional ranks but they've not achieved the degree to success the degree of success that they could achieve had they had these mental disciplines this belief in theirself that they can accomplish more than what they're accomplishing right now and so they did have the job half their potential you know and and talking about the support a a lot of people do have self-doubt to that very thing like you mentioned you come up with a great idea went into this under that and then people right away start raining on your parade and we're sort of <hes> that happens a lot. I think shut your life and that's probably another source of people who Latte who lacks self-confidence. We all be well. There's nobody has never been <hes> not confident about something. There's always something you've been COM <hes> very uncomfortable about doing but that doesn't mean you can't do it doesn't mean you can't try riot because after after you get going you know the confidence comes okay. Of course you're not GONNA be. You're not going to be a brain surgeon. <hes> on your first day a high school. Okay that's NC Z. But if you work eventually you just might be one you know an and you may not attend you you you may not you may not achieve your ultimate goal for instance. I had a friend who at thirty years old decided addity wanted to be a professional golfer and he was not a very good golfer at the time and everybody sort of laughed at invite I didn't I said go forward. You know you know that's what you WanNa do do it well. He never made the professional the any of the major professional tours but you know what he is cory is. He's a scratch Golfer right now. He can play golf with the best of them so he didn't attain that dream of being a professional golfer but he attained dream of being an outstanding Golfer. You know one that you have a hard time competing with so so even though he perhaps said his goal to high it was <hes> it I don't know if it was too high or not but it was the appropriate appropriate goal for him to accomplish and and he believed himself and he worked and he did all the mental disciplines all the physical disciplines and he worked to make himself a tremendous golfer. This is in my book. I call self efficacy. Eh recalling reading about that. It's the mother of self confidence <hes> as a FI carcass name Albert bender the one of the book he wrote People's level of motivation effective states and actions are based more on what they believe then what is objectively the case so what that means in if you have enough enough self harm you believe in your you may be like your friend you know a Lousy Golfer in the end comparatively but he's be believes that allows you but he's not professional no professional though he was lousy uh-huh yeah you but he believed he could right and that's where that quite determination. I I think I can do it. If I work hard enough and whatnot not I can do it and that's where the that's where you learn. That's what you learn stuff and and and actually get bit that you can believe and you work on you know. It's not as you believe it. I'M GONNA put at that belief under the pills and wake up to more than I'll be there so it's that self efficacy that yes I believe in myself okay and that's where the people who have <hes> maybe lack the self confidence they don't believe in themselves ourselves and <hes> we're we're constantly being criticized aren't we. Yes constantly being criticized Yes for trying to do things and and the bottom line is fear of failure failure. We've been trained right through school. You WanNa get passing marks. You great remarks right. Oh you gotta be not too bad. You Got D not good enough field. You know we're constantly trade. We must not fail when the when the opposite is true. Failure is not a disgrace failure. least you find out what works and what doesn't work you find out the truth from falsehood could you they all say they say you can't come back and they should go away so <hes> we're trained to stay away from Philly and that's why people keep themselves on the Oh. No I'm not doing you can't do that because they're afraid to feel because we've been trained yeah and that's what that's where we find successful businesses are into what is being called fast failures and that is you know go going out and and attempting something new and fresh in a creative idea and if it works or if it begins to work they can they can build upon it but if it looks like it's like it's not going to <hes> achieved the the the determined goal they will get out of it quickly and so that's so that's that's that's experimenting that that's trying. That's that's going out and doing something and believe in something and if it doesn't work okay okay. Let's move on to something that does <hes> that is. That's what life is all about. It's not it's not a series of successes. It's a series of <hes> of finding out I like. I like the you know the very common <hes> from the very common. I can't think of his name I can never remember his name who invented the Light Bulb Thomas Edison when he had a thousand ways that people said you know you've tried to a thousand ways days and this doesn't work and he says all I've done it said I've discovered a thousand ways. It won't work and so I now I know other ways to try exactly and speaking of th there's a there's a way to start right building your self confidence. Oh Great <hes> you know like I say things it takes what's ships in motion picture huge ship ocean liner. It can't do one hundred eighty degree turn right right away and it has to slow down has to make a gradual turn so when you're changing when you're trying to change your mind it's it's just it's a series of little steps so what you what you can do is <hes> sit down and brainstorm rainstorm which yourself and you list all the challenges at all the things that might stop you whatever the behavior of the task is now. I so Sir I. Person says the I haven't got enough self confidence to this ain't even got enough soft conferencing myself okay right right right them down brainstorm. I can't do this because because you know I was called all the name of his left out. My parents forgot me at the restaurant this happened. I've been you wouldn't you see all those things and then then you look at them and and even if fits it could be like for challenges that can't do and then look at and rates yourself. Whatever's rates you on a US two zero to ten or honored and put a a give assign each challenger task or behavior a number and you'll be able to arrange them in a in a sliding sore prior a prioritization Reuters ation? Yes excellent and then take a good look at them and just see. Is that really the truth you know so it's starting to look <hes> yourself because people say have I can't do it. I'm afraid or what tell me why why can't you. They don't know why do they. They just it's a knee jerk reaction but if you look back if they if they can lay these things other than sterry them in the hi right they may have a second opinion in safety I across that all this sounds to me like something else you mentioned in your book you have <hes> you have a series of fabulous quotes in your your book that I will use in my writing <hes> but <hes> one of the book comes from Albert Einstein and you quoted him a sane logic will get you from A._D._p.. The imagination will take you everywhere. Logic will get you from step aid step e but it's imagination that's going to take everywhere and I'm I'm a straw adhere to imagination and curiosity <hes> ah how how do you see imagination and curiosity in impacting our goals in our success in our dreams.