JOE, New York, DAN discussed on Hurdle
Many people as i can of course and there is a a fair amount to unpack here. The first thing to unpack would be. You mentioned that there was a toxic city when it came to getting into modeling so talking to me a little bit about what getting into it. I was like for you and why you stayed in it as time went on. Yeah i think When i was about fourteen i was really shy and i think my mom just thought if i did something. I actually did modeling in deportment course. That was code and she put me in a nyc star. Hoping that would it would give us confidence. And i was worse than my sister. She was a bit more confident than me and And i just i liked it. I liked a. I guess to be honest with you. I locked the attention. Because i needed a thought. The attention was love and we all know. It's not because it's a completely different thing between loving loving yourself and people truly loving you and belonging or feeding in. Does the difference so i desperately wanted to feeding and have people love me but really what i needed was to belong with the right people who loved me for for me in the right reasons but anyway i liked getting the attention. I liked people saying that. I was pretty. Oh look getting fired is because i had no self worth at all. I thought i was hideous. Just it was really horrible. And i think because i had a boyfriend. That wasn't very nice. He said some horrible things and always used to tell me. I wasn't good enough. That's what i've always struggled with. Not being good enough. So you're the modeling sort of i. Guess it made me feel like i could be at the stop but then i soon found out how toxic it was because it's so competitive obviously and when you going to costings and getting knocked back ninety ninety five percent of the time that's just the worst thing for someone who has no self worth so it just made things worse and worse and then i had friends who are in the industry who also struggling with self worth issues so that when you competing with them as well. It's just a horrible environment. So i stayed in it for. Oh probably about twelve years and then around that tom. I think around my mid twenties. When i started going into fitness in a sort of say goodbye to the whole modeling world and and chose being healthy and feet over just got trying to be skinny and china. Look good but I'm glad i did. I decided to get out of it. Because it really i mean. It's not like these for everyone. I i think but for me. It was the worst thing for me to. Yeah but i did enjoy a enjoyed doing photos. I love the creative side of it. I do photography as well. And i just i level that so it was a love hate relationship really and and then you mentioned making a series of small changes that empowered you to pivot from that negative self talk That lack of self worth talk to me about what some of those small changes were. Yes so call this my toolbox and i have things that i a guard who when i'm feeling down or i'm feeling overwhelmed or having negative feelings. Allies feelings of. I don't believe in myself and don't think i'm worthy. You'll good enough accent. Toolbox and i pulled is tools out and work through them because it helps me. And what's in that toolbox for man different for everyone but i have a few different things. Oviously moving excising lifting whites i- nourish my body with healthy foods. But then on top of that. I do things like darfur medic breathing which date breathing and slowing my breath down then. I work on being present and not getting overwhelmed by. Because i have a crazy mind and it never stops in. It's just so out of control that i've got to calm down otherwise i go crazy and then i just dumb i focus on what's around me so i might go outside. Which is the best thing to do and go barefoot. And i'll put my feet on the ground and even better if he can get to the beach and put it in the sand but as long as you bare foot on the earth. I feel like. I consider download all the crap and everything that's making me feel negative and then ray charge with positive things and i imagine doing that and i'm breathing and i'm looking around at night sean. And the trees. And if i'm water i'll look at the water birds and just try to be present in the moment and now of kids so i obviously i play with them and i'm being with them and truly with them not on my fine getting off social media getting off anything like computers finds and things like that just having a bright from it is amazing Also practicing gratitude. Thinking about amazing. Things i have in my life because we will go up things. We don't have a we'd love to have. This is my point focusing on a difference between wanting it and having a goal and working towards. Or you're getting down. Because you don't have these things and it's affecting you negatively. So i i look at everything of gotten how how grateful i am and how blessed i am to have these things. And they're not things funny enough there people my family and friends and then another i do. I'll go for a walk. All my favorite is dancing. And i'm not a good dancer at all. Probably the worst dancer. But i'll put my favorite music on and dance around the house and just anything that makes me feel good is what i do and i love brett brown. So she's a researcher and storyteller and she's done ted talks and she's amazing. She's got many books now and she's just someone that i relate to a law and she just she really really helps me so if i'm really feeling down one of her talks on an she has audiobooks as well which i love and listen to hair and after five minutes. I'm feeling better already. So there's a few different things. I do and a work through each one until embitter basically while i two huge fan of brunei brown. I know many of the lawyers. Are you talked about putting your feet in the sand going out barefoot so much research on the benefits of what's commonly referred to as grounding. I mean fighting off. Chronic fatigue fighting off chronic pain dealing with anxiety and depression managing sleep disorders fighting against pardo vascular disease. I mean so much. So much benefits to just being out in nature are calming thing especially for me like that early morning. Run getting out. Even though i'm in new york city a world away from any nice sand or each just getting out and hearing it nature and and finding some stillness for the entire world gets to move us. Just one of deep ex. How it's the best isn't it. So many people stop the day by picking up the phone and going they go straight into social media and sar busy. And everyone's on there. It's overloading the brain and you feeling overwhelmed and not really positive. 'cause a lotta stuff isn't positive and you not even noticing a load of its oldest. It's going into your brain. You not really aware of it. And it's too much so. I like to stop the day by. Not just getting straight straightaway. Obviously i'll chick if someone's mris. Joe tried to coal. It's important but then i put it. Dan and i start my day Usually skin caixa james cosmetics. That iron and i put my masks on. It makes me feel good or have my routine in the morning. Either my breathing exercises and spend time with my kids and then i'll pick up the phone. I think it's the best way to stop rather than just straight on that fine. And i'm sure that i mean over the years as you have garnered quite the following. You probably went through different phases where you felt like you had a lot of control with your relationship with social media versus. Maybe feeling like things were a little out of control..