Depression, Rena, Richard discussed on The Art of Charm
It's typically when you get in your car and drive away. Exactly. So if your ideas that happened, this is feeling good. You're going to be constantly battling with the reality that good feelings don't last very long and linked to that myth is the idea that the natural state for human beings should be one of happiness is this idea out there if you give people food water and shelter and employment and good social structure that just naturally gonna feel happy. But I say to my clients will the time that the, you know, emotions like, the weather you expect them to change continually. It would be weird. If old I every day was a kind of warm spring sunny day, right? You expect to feel fear and sadness and anger and disappointment as you go through your life. If you're going to live a full human life, you're going to feel the full range of human emotions, not just the ones that feel good. So if you subscribe to this this myth that the natural state for humans is happiness. Again, it sets you up for a struggle with reality. And then building on top of those two misses a third myth this idea that you know, if you're not happy you'll defective is something wrong with us. You should think. Positive feel good be happy, don't worry. And if that's not the case, there's something wrong with you at and, you know, my my twelve year old son came home from school. This is about a year ago when he was twelve and he he said, I'm depressed that what do you mean? What do you mean, you're depressed and what happened with? I don't know. If you guys had the craze for fidget spinners over there. You know, when they would you know, they were huge here, and he'd been playing with his fidget spinner against the teachers instructions and should take an off him, and she wouldn't give it back to him. And so he came home and said, I'm depressed because she wouldn't give me back. My fidget spinner. But this is what's going on it? It's like the these pathological terms such as depression creeping into everyday usage and replacing normal language such as feeling a bit down or a bit sad. So, you know, if you're not happy, there's something wrong. And and then on top of all of those three missed they lead lead ride to the the kind of biggest happiness to trap of all. Which is if in order for me to have happiness I need to avoid in scape. The unpleasant difficult fulsome feelings and replace them with the ones that feel good. You know, this kind of Rena feel good society and for the first time in human history. Happiness is now being defined as feeling good. Whereas route most of human history it's being defined as doing good in a living your values doing the stuff that's meaningful. In life. And so all of this sets people up just to struggle with the reality that life is painful and difficult and doesn't teach people how to deal affectively with the painful emotions that are a part of living, Richard meaningful life or concertedly. See the language changing around that. I think a lot of us in the west, especially with social media tend to be overly dramatic about everything..