Jesus, Dad Tired Ministry, Jolo discussed on Dad Tired
I'm clearly not out chasing facing tolerance for this trying to get rich off this thing So that was but that wasn't the reason the reason was because I felt like. Oh maybe I'm not good at this. Yeah and and then same with like a book review somebody will leave like a three out of five stars and I'm like Oh you know what I'm going to hang up the whole thing Because I'm this is I'm not could at this. Had I had a dad to as a kid being like who cares like who cares if you get somebody gives you a three out of five stars or say you're the Jolo hosting podcast who cares. Because here's who God says you are That would probably roll off my back a lot easier and again. It's not like Macho confidence. It's not this fake. We just WANNA be tough dudes who don't care what people say. It's we want to be grounded in our identity in Christ. That's what we want for our kids. I'm not just trying to teach my son and my my daughters. I that you just need to be tough and sticks and stones can break your bones but words don't hurt words hurt for sure what we're trying to do is give them a deeper foundation a more more solid foundation which is who cares what people say not because you're tough but because look what God says about you. This is your identity you were holy. You are chosen. You're delighted lied in because he loved you. Not because of anything you can accomplish. And then when they get out into the real world and thing people say hard things you can just be like. Yeah that's maybe. My Book was three out of five stars or maybe my podcast does kind of soccer. Whatever but this is what God thinks of me and it's not going to rattle me to my core going to be depressed for the next ten days or be chasing fifty different jobs and careers? Because I'm looking for my identity because this is who I know I am so anyway come go ahead. I'm sorry I'm rambling a bunch. No it's okay I was just I was thinking we're talking about how when Like a child is raised in such a way way that their identity is shaped by their father for good or bad Like what do you do then when you find yourself a thirty year old dad yourself self and you are just Kinda just confused about your identity and Don't always feel like do you are who got called you to be do feel like that kind of that child. Wouldn't you think of Your Dad. You just I don't know maybe heart starts pounding and you're angry or you're you feel sad or like all those so interesting how you know. I'm I'm thirty five now and I'm like I can think about my dad and just start weeping you know and Like what do we how do we. How do we move forward? How do we like find our identity now? I think not that this isn't isn't the answer like to just solve that but I hear for somebody. That's still struggling with it. Here's what I'm telling myself One thing is he's just knowing that the motivation behind majority of what I do is chasing identity because of the lack of presence that my dad had that alone is helpful just to like be able to put words and tie connections there. Start identifying some of your behaviors as like why am I. What's my real motivation here? Oh it's because I'm just trying to figure out. Am I worth something. So that's helpful by itself. The other thing is my my heart longs for the day as we talk about Rosa revelation. Where there will be no more tears and nor pain more sickness like this? These are all sickness pain hurting and Jesus will one day make that all new. I think we get glimpses of Heaven here. On Earth Praise God the Kingdom of Heaven is invading fading Earth at this very moment and so there are moments of healing for me. I will sit and be like man. I don't have to chase that because this is what God has done in. This is who he says I am but I will always care. There will be holes or ruts that I will die with And and in that time my heart longs for Jesus to make things right again one day. I can't win for spouses. I think it's important to just like I don't know if he's still call like Gospel each other but like when you start like for me for example not having heard a lot of words for my dad I always was wondering like does he love me you know he never ever ever said I love you like I don't I can't I try and remember and I don't know if I fabricate a memory or two here and there but I don't remember we're hearing it and certainly I'm quite positive I've never heard him say I'm proud of you and so now Sometimes you can project those things onto God as your father and an and sometimes I do wonder like am i. Am I making God proud. I don't even know if that's like a right question but like wondering. Would God say he's proud of me like you know. This is layla with whom I'm well pleased like doubtful. All ever hear those words you know and like just having somebody to kind of remind you like what is actually true about God and like what are some things that are maybe it just hurts from your own childhood or just you just projecting like who your earthly father was and you're projecting that onto your heavenly father and it kind of teasing those apart and Yeah I also wanted to say as we're talking the wives That I said this on a podcast. I was a guest on this week but for the wives listening. Just want you to know that your it more than like probably your your your husband's friends more than his bosses more than really maybe anyone else you carry such power in the things that you say to your husband and your husband Most likely is walking around with a lot of those holes or ruts in his life because he didn't have a dad say everything regardless of how awesome is dad is. He's got dad wounds somewhere. He's somewhere on the scale and the things that you say to your husband Carey deep deep weight. And there's many men who just need to hear from maybe their wives that babe art if for a wife to say a bear on proud of you you have what it takes and even if you don't accomplish anything your loved like the was just saying to Gospel each other to to sit like this is who God says you are and you don't need to chase after things like you don't have to prove yourself in this family you don't have to prove yourself in this marriage or to our kids you just deeply loved by God and we love you and most importantly like God loves you based on who. You are not anything you can accomplish. Those words wives like we'll we'll carry deep deep. Wait for your husband's and again I think there are a lot of husbands who are kind of walking around there. The problem solvers in the family. They're tough they're strong. They're whatever but man there's Oh boy under their who's wounded and they may just need to hear from you wife to say like to tell them the words the truth of the Scriptures the truth of the Gospel that they never heard from down so that's my encouragement to the wife's. I'll just end here by saying this again like Dad. You'RE GONNA BE MESSED UP UP. Your kids are going to have wounds. All of our kids are going to have wounds one way or another regardless of how we do at this because we're human and were sinful and were broken and we're going to hurt them in some way And they're gonNA carry that for their whole life but would we be parents who hold hold up a mirror to our kids and as they look in it we just point and say this is who God has made you to be so that as they go Out into the world again. We're not just creating like tough kids. Were creating kids who really were not creating kids or encouraging kids. Who really can go back to the truths of the Gospel that their loved? Not because you have the biggest numbers God said are your anything special on earth but you are loved because God loved you. That's it God loves you and your loved and delighted in by the God of the universe and I think when we do that we helped set our kids up for success. So they they don't they don't turn into confused adults who like many of us run around the whole their whole lives searching for identity and searching undefined worth. I hope that's helpful. Leyla thank you for hanging now. I know you're exhausted. It's been a crazy week or so grateful that because listen again if you give to. The Dad Tired Ministry. That's going to go to these conferences into our ministry for next year helpless. Lower the costs you get a free signed book out of it. We'll send that to you and you'll also be entered into win a two hundred fifty dollars Amazon Gift Card to pay for Christmas gifts for Christmas this year. We love gas. Thanks for listening to you later.