Turkey, Mama, TA discussed on Let's Talk Dementia


Senior Life Journeys Presents Carol Howls. Let's talk dementia. A podcast designed to help caregivers find knowledge power hope and smiles lyles in their dementia caregiving journey welcome to let's talk dementia. Here's your host bestselling author Carol. Hello caregivers and welcome to. Let's talk dementia today. We're going to talk about you tips to help you get your loved one ready for that big Christmas into it in a way. That is respectful of who they are. You know your loved. One has spent their life brushing their T. brushing their hair and doing their grooming in cleaning leaning themselves in picking out there. Close now all of a sudden you come along and you want to do it all for them. Well that might not settle real well with them unless you were Mama Mama Mama Mama would let you do anything for her. That kept her from having to do it for her sale. She was Elisa little thing but it did make caregiving a lot. Easier sure but nonetheless we need to have respect for our loved ones in regards to making sure. We don't rob them of dignity while we are are caring for the now. You won't look good all the time I know. I always did with Mamma youth earrings and Take after her rings on every finger bracelets I mean she won't hold Shebang and are Mak- And our white diamonds clung. But you especially wouldn't look good if you're the primary caregiver and everybody's come in your house for Christmas. You won't mom or dad or your husband your wife whatever. Look good one of the things you want to practices that hand over hand method of of caring for them so it's time to brush their teeth. Now these are techniques we're gonNA use every day. You're not just at Christmas. But you can go up and start brushing their teeth as you know sticking it to brush their mouth Dylan them to open up. Open your mouth separate your teeth. Quick Gagging is not gonNA work. Oh good but you really gotTA brushed teeth. We don't want you know we don't cavities teeth fallen. We don't want bad breath for heaven's sakes so we're going to put the toothpaste on that toothbrush. And while they hold it which they're used I used to their hand coming to their mouth. They've been doing that their entire life. But you're GONNA put your hand on their hand and guide it. It's called hand over hand method. Can you do it this way. Hand over hand. So you're going to guide that toothbrush in help them brush like the bottom quadrant now if you let them go after they've done on it for a little bit. You might be surprised to see that they can do that without you guiding hand but they probably are not going to switch up do that top quadrant or the bottom bottom one on the other side so while we've got the brush turn with the The bristles Dan. Let's go ahead and guide that handed over here to brush this side and then get them going and and see if they will continue doing it in if they don't move in brushed bottom quadrant all by their own. Then you're going to hand over hand. God that quadrant. Ah God that brush across the quadrant. Then you're going to have to turn that brush bristles in we're going to guide them to brush top see if they continue. Let them do it if they can. If not help them and then move over reminding them to spit into rents keeping toothbrush wet. You don't want them choking be careful about that. You probably don't brush off four quadrants without spitting do so. Remember that when you're working with your loved one you don't want their mouth filling up with that toothpaste in getting getting down their throat. And then we gag. That's messes and we know the same technique can be used when you are helping someone shave. If you're shaving saving what women shave to folks. I mean you know I tell my husband if I ever get debilitating. I can't take care of myself. You don't shave me right through here. I'm going to look like a hairy monster. I will not be happy with you. In Mama would go this. She would stick her tongue up in the corner up under her upper lip and make her lipstick out that meant. She needed her her mustache shea. Nuts how she would tell us that doors the end so again that may be something they will let you do. Your your husband might let us shave them. That is more likely to be something. Gentlemen will let us do for them. 'cause they probably had somebody else shaved them in their Mike periodically and that does not feel all that uncomfortable to have somebody come with them with the racer but it might not feel good so again. We're going to do hand over hand putting that razor in their hand prevalent electric razor because we're probably gone have a reduced chance of harming them with an electric razor in. We're going to guide their hand across their face to link that shaving. Now if you're using a regular razor in you need the soap and shaving cream and all that be very careful because you gotta realize allows one quick jerk the wrong way and you've got a problem so still that hand over hand where if they jerk you can pull away very quickly and protect them Liam hand over hand. Method is just a neat technique. Now what if your loved one needs help eating They won't feed themselves. You've got to feed them again again. Don't go at their face with the spoon or fork. That does not feel good. Neither Momma did that when they were little. That was okay. But nobody's come at the with a fork or spoon. That doesn't feel normal at all. But that muscle memory remembers their hand coming to their mouth in that muscle memory can and be activated. If that's the word we WANNA use by putting your hands over their hand. While they hold their spooner they hold their fort in helping to guy as they scoop up the food and they bring it to their mail and again you might say after two or three bytes that they get the hang of it again in they can feed themselves but they may not depending on how far along in this process called the mench that they are so be aware of that but it just is a respectful. I want to help them. Maintain their dignity while you care for them when they're getting dressed. Don't just button all the buttons Zip all Zippers. Put the socks in the shoes on. See see what they can do. Allow them to help button and if it takes a little longer you can possibly allow that time. Let them do it. And what if they get through in their buttons off and you know we've got a buttonhole down here that doesn't have a button a button up here that have a button hall where you can just go right up. Go Good Gracious Gracious. Mama you've got your buttons all messed up. Let me fix it or you can wait a little bit. Go Up to him and go. You know what I missed up when your shirt US escaped buttonhole. Good gracious I must not have been paying attention. Let me fix my mistake. Just take responsibility for what you didn't do but see you're keeping their the dignity intact. You're not making them feel less than because they didn't but in their shirt right who can't button shirt. They've been banished shirt forever. We don't WanNa make him feel poorly about themselves because they missed a button. I mean really is just not one of those things that we ever want to bring up to them. Maybe help them pull their pants across their feet. Eight and up to their hip. In Vince I hey mom can you pull your pants on while I could get your hairbrush and give her a chance to work those pants up to seek him she do in if she can't then you come back new saying you did a great job here. Let me help you finish up. Because we've got get to the kitchen check on the Turkey you know some subject that will take take their mind away from the fact that they weren't successful in getting dressed now you've taken him to another -nother thaw another train of thought in there Brian that they can then concentrate synthroid on and speaking of helping with that Turkey if they are things that your loved one can do to help in the kitchen. Please ask them to do it now. You gotTA think about it. This is something they're going to do. I remember the example of helping Working with a group of of ladies innocent in memory care community folding laundry and and we had towels in west coast baby clothes and the only thing. They won't default photos debate because they were not interested in two thousand wash call. That was more than one. Vote the baby clothes and of course it took forever and thirty six days which was great because they had to rub movement older just a cute little. It was something for them to do. But your loved one may never ever been interested in cooking and so getting them in the kitchen they may all of a sudden have an interest in it and they may not to said. Think about bad if you get get them in and say hey mom could you put the biscuits in the end the breadbasket. That's something that can easily do in. They don't want to while they probably didn't do it in the the past but one way or the other they don't want to or not pushing folks to do stuff they don't WanNa do when they have dementia that setting yourself up for big old problem in. It's not worth it but I can tell you mom up until about January. She passed in May Around January February even she. You would get in the kitchen with me and her group home on Sundays. I Cook there and she would help me and it was things like we had keen walk patties frozen king walk. Petty said I buy ready made that are amazing in we had to put them on a pan and I said Mama here. Can you take these in in Lynam up on the PAN and and she would just work at it in it was something she could do to help me. NSA that word help loosely. But it got her involved in we could stand there and talk about things. I A cherished memories. And that's what I want you to have is some of those happy memories to look back on while we sit here just a few days before Christmas in when I think about being in the kitchen and with my mom I think about her making Turkey gravy. Now I don't eat Turkey and I don't eat meat but growing up I did and I can tell you one thing my momma made the best Turkey Turkey gravy on the planet. Sounds good to me and I don't even want Turkey glove those memories a Mama there. She is in the background. I am a special shout. In words of comfort in sending of my heart those who have also lost their loved ones in this she urine and I have a lady that attended our very first beer as caregivers retraite. Who's Mama passed away just yesterday or last night I believe in From my heart is with her and with each of you because I know a lot of you have lost a loved one in Youtube will be having your first Christmas without the Mahar hairs. You blessing missing since finals on your day. Let's talk dementia would like to thank our sponsors National Association of Veterans and families. You can reach them at eight hundred three thirty five to to nine one nine on the Internet at www dot in VF dot org. They speak veterans. So you don't have to and you tell them I'm Carol Saint You. When you call to inquire about benefits for the veteran spouse of the bed or both editor bed you can find Ms Beth crosby at editor Beth breath dot com? She is amazing. Looking at what you've written in making sure it represents you will find her at. WWW dot editor Beth dot com and HD imports located on Flint Street extension in Rock Hill South Carolina. That's your county halo. Three nine eight five zero nine eight five. They are there for the hunt the repair and maintenance of your Honda Hyundai Toyota Kia. Tell Them Carol CINCI. Thanks for joining us today for peril. Hal's let's talk dementia to learn more about dementia. We recommend Carols bestselling book also titled. Let's talk dementia. It's available on Amazon. In paperback and kindle versions be short like let's talk dementia on facebook and leave us a kind word of review on. itunes remember knowledge brings power power. Howard brings hope hope bring smiles and we all need more smiles? Thanks for joining us today. And we'll be right here when you come back to. Let's talk dementia..

Coming up next