New York, Five Thousand Dollars, Six Months discussed on Fake Doctors Real Friends with Zach and Donald
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel for me. It was for me. it was clueless for you. It was your friend that worked at was a manager at a restaurant this woman. I'll never forget. She saved me and she she put me on. And if y'all remember the opening scene of garden state or the opening sequence where. I'm working in a french. Vietnamese restaurant was based on this real life. Experience did put it in a movie. Yeah but it was very hard time. Because i i never i was dealing with the we even tax. It's it's like you're like. Is this going to be a part of my life. Like how do i get this under control. And i really had to start seeing therapists to start tackling it because basically my anxiety kind. It's kind of like the dam breaks in your anxiety reaches a point for some people. I'm one of them where it's like. The dam broke like pack. Attack are a possibility now if if his daddy dipping to read that's all you need. Is that little bit of a little. Bit of panic. Like one panic attack and then you'll have for the rest of your life. That's why we go. Well no you just of all you know how to prevent it from happening how to handle it when it does happen. You gain a whole tool chest that you didn't have right but it's like if you think about a car needle going into red all of a sudden it's like you breakthrough and realize that. That is a possibility that that can happen to you. And so you need to manage it just like your car manages changing gears right. You have some experience with this. I i was very broke and i very similarly like came out here also with five thousand dollars which is strange for those of you listening. Don't try to move to la with five grand now. This is two thousand twenty fourteen. How it was done in like six lasted six months. I didn't last that long. It was very very chaotic. In horrible and i was broke but fortunate enough to work in an industry that was constantly shifting the around the world to cover different events but it was like my first time out on my own and it was a lot of things but also when i landed. I didn't have any money so i was like. Where are you feeding. The journalists like we under eagles. Here i will eat four bagels. That won't be like breakfast and lunch and then we'll figure out dinner later. And so yeah when i was at a tiff. Toronto international film festival. I've been having small panic attacks where it's like okay. I just really breath and work on it and get through it. But i- overbooked myself. And i was doing red carpets for the second time in my life. Those are very stressful. As a journalist. And i had a pack tax so bad i had to like i. I didn't know where it wasn't or housing. It back to my place didn't have any money. I was like couldn't inhale and luckily my friend was like well. My hotels like two blocks away. Can you make it. And i was like just gimme. They're more know what happens on. The floor curled them into the field position and luckily she has some things or something and in knocked me out they are. I wouldn't panic attacks on my worst enemy. They come out of nowhere and they're so debilitating but once you get your toolkit in order and you know like okay. It's happening and how to work through it. You also die. Wants once you gringos. No you won't die from this like calm down but the first time it happened and i remember a theater and i was sitting next to. This is crazy. I was sitting next to my acting. Professor doctor david downs. And i take taking him to see a play that i've seen in new york i really liked and i wanted to show it to him. Because it was a production out here. Production on here was a totally different cast and was not nearly as good and sitting the audience. And i just. I felt embarrassed. I want you impress him. That i found play. He was like my my mentor that he that he would really like. And he's one of those guys. My dad was the same way like something. They wanna let you know. So there's a lot of like my dad would do the same thing movie theater. He wanted everyone around him that he did not like in the movie. It was so it's such an annoying trait like felt. But i remember my teacher was was sort of non vibing and was doing some sighing. And i and i. And i felt embarrassed and i knew the play wasn't as good as what i'd seen in new york and i of course the ingredients were there. I was already in anxious state. And i remember my lungs tightened up and i could breathe. It was like someone was standing on my chest. And then your brain does. What is your brain. Do you start playing it out. You ain't gonna have to come. The i'm going to stretch your filtering out this theater seeing me on a stretcher what is professor gonna think and just start snow box now. Both snowballing. that's called spiraling. How'd you get out of that one. A now i'll tell you how it got. It was miraculously. I was able to do it. But i had taken a few yoga. Classes start newly into getting in yoga and a big part of yoga is quieting your mind and doing long quiet breaths and while watching this playbook quote quote unquote washing next to this dude and went into a yoga breath session where i was just slowing down my breath and i fully. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know was a panic attack. But i i talked myself out where when i was a kid. They used to take us to my parents and my aunts and uncles. And everything like that. Take all of the kids to the and in new york and you know there was this dude Moved nanda and his When he passed away his protege Cool ramaya took over. And i remember seeing people like lisa bonet like a bunch of actors and stuff there and what you do literally you would just go there and you would work as you know labor on at the ashram or you would meditate and i remember that you know that are remember when i first it was literally sitting there..