Vancouver, Ben Sheets, Relapse discussed on Recovery Happy Hour
Turned his back door on I spent a week in hospital in salt about and then decided after recovered from that that snitty maybe staying. US wasn't such a good idea for me. So I got up in coober continued the trip there. I went on welfare in Vancouver in that the promotion the government was willing to invest in stable place lieutenant and became trends with people and and got a tiny you better self respect back but I still using and still getting getting high in drunk everyday and and so somebody twelve sent news I'm walking downtown town gas him and said you know I tried to bum a cigarette from them and they said well you know cigarette. If you come to a meeting and so for about a year and a half I tried to get clean but I could and then one day I was walking down the street and I saw the firemen cutting guy out of the hung himself binds Ben Sheets out of the third story window of the apartment of the the hotel using and and I saw the dot can be me and so I started to go to twelve step meetings on daily basis and I and I was good for about a week and a half my first clean date was June first and then I went and spent a weekend at a using buddy's house and what what do you know of course they can use them so so June tenth was much her steak and I the been in recovering been sober since then in a sense that the way that we say sounds like it's an absolute thing the the day that I stopped using is the day got so uh-huh That's the ice tended Willard web getting sober might entail and the gymnastics and the Pretzel Turns and the Gumby `ISMs Eh engaged in the dysfunctional learning habits the building on arguments in and alien nation than isolation unacceptability blaming shaming jolting center all of that Gordian Knot of dysfunction attention. Well you sing is this is in the early eighties I mean. Aa was really the only option right narcotics above us in Vancouver was growing because might you needed to publish the basic texts of more products anonymous set of months queen mm or six almost six months lean and found my way into rooms narcotics how how long did twelve step stay part sort of your daily routine to stay sober and recover in his out something. That's I mean sixty five days. Hey I was gonna say as that transitioned over the last thirty four years ago there have been times where I've experimented with not going the meetings and they don't wind well. You know I mean like no I haven't gone back into the actual actual results of relapse relapse because I think of relapse being everything that leads up to actual news actual drinking and drinking is drinking and and using his using any relapses all of the justifications and the exceptions and the the penny pot or mean bullshit that we can give into that makes news it makes drinking walk like some kind of good option human. Only we ever kicked it moved you to Guatemala you know making it so that I would put myself in a situation or somebody else yeah yeah. It's it's it's absolute insanity. At what point were you in your sobriety. Where you starting to get down to the root of the issue you talking about you know avoiding feelings like in the first year off that I I I didn't have a problem with substance anymore? The thing that drove into the substance was about fumes and so I started looking for people who were healthy emotionally finally healthy life was working and a lot of people who appeared emotionally healthy once I got below the you know the outer shell they had all the same problems just weren't using level were park benches. When I WANNA get to you said a very interesting sentence when we I emailed and that was how you learned how to use your emotions as allies talk talk to me a little a bit about what that means and when that evolution started to happen I was afraid of my emotions intimidating five hundred they were uncomfortable? Do anything that rid of the uncomfortable emotion that Northington all kinds of stuff that we've already covered and so I got it that it seemed like nobody that I encountered didn't have any feelings except for people who reacts trying to kill themselves so feelings are a constant physiological feelings like the nerve endings of hot and cold pressing things that we also have the occasional personal aspect of that and I started the hunt for how could I do better without is there a system I was I was ten or twelve years clean in and I got to the place where I realized that I don't have a choice of whether I surrender surrendered. I only have a choice of what I surrender to surrender to misery and depression in isolation all those usual suspects or I can surrender to joy and serenity and peace and harmony and collaboration and neutrality in creativity and generosity. I just need to learn how and so I I went to meditation circles. I went I went to bodywork went to a I started becoming an addiction counselor in nineteen ninety six years I I walked into the local alcohol and drug office to volunteer. They interviewed Manson Manson volunteer but we'd like to hired a train you and so that's what I started to do and then I became first nations up here in Canada we have first nations reserves which you kind of like what do your Indian reservations states and so I became the addictions counseling for a first nation and worked there for near and a half and then I've worked for the John Howard Society which works with people who've been mandated to buy the courts arts and I've worked enough field for a number of years before I started to discover a system the structure of emotions which happened in nineteen ninety nine when I started to study Oriental Medicine I studied acupressure which is like acupuncture at that. There's no needles you're using your fingers until I became a student and then a practitioner and teacher acupressure and nightline that there's an actual physiological correspondence between all of our emotional reality now and are so we know alcohol is metabolized by the liver and and and one of those common fingerprint handprint signature forms of that we know for alcoholics anger and frustration and sew anger and frustration happen to be in body and fear. The're happens to be embodied in the KITTENS. What do people do when they're just mortally afraid NAPI themselves? Okay Gracia loss is is in the lungs and what people do when they're when they're they're fully ARISTA. Cry Anxiety Insecurity are in the spleen which which is our earth elements and it's like the earth underneath. You isn't Solomon feel insecure at chaos and disorder is in the heart and if you're if you're Kale headache your is upset. You're lost your connection connection with wholeness. There's that negative aspect and there's also the positive allergies generosity and kindness or in the lunar well I I mean I hate to jump ahead. I mean but like how do we what tools can people used to make that transfer transferred to the counterbalance found that so many people get got lost fell apart because light continued to be a problem for them even and after they got two three four five seven ten years under their belt in recovery but lifestyle sucks. I have an eight week course that I teach that's todd online videos audios tedious at that tunnel and included as part of that is weekly coaching that our group coaching calls or individual coaching the most people don't want to be and in eight weight as you get foundations of how apply of how learners the structured system so we all kinds of great systems you can go on global anytime day. Hey fine how to build your next station ascension but nowhere else have I ever seen UH UH system for how to understand and work with your emotions to turn them into allies instead of being in most of the sincere yeah and I think that there's a a lot of people even with some significant sobriety under their belt that still see their emotions as their enemies because they're they're still afraid of them because they don't know what to to do with them and accept overpower them and I mean if their core our feelings are survival mechanisms we have to we have to feel fear in order to survive. You know that teaches us something. you know a sadness teaches they're all feelings are teachers even though they're thera uncomfortable but we have to make friends with them so that we can work together with them and not constantly fight them in so many people don't have a way of interpreting the ceilings that that actually helps them. You know like people will say control your emotions control yourself. Don't be so sensitive. Don't be so emotional that makes emotions negative in our enemies at what the will usually do and we try and control something wavering presses OSU's and it comes out sideways it comes out ten times worse at the most inopportune moment I was really good at. I I would say the wrong thing so exactly the wrong person to say the wrong thing that it's actually the worst takes petition so it's not a a it's not a you know. Snap your fingers. Once in it's done come into recovery and sobriety. You're automatically sober in that trump says learning but once you learn the stuff it's a skill that you have to the rest of your life battle yourself but other people to well. Let's let's talk about cheat on a little I bet and explain explain to the listeners what it is and then how you're using that and helping other people learn it in how it's helping them. Mm Okay you ever been told to just relax yeah like seventeen times a day by everybody that I come into contact with after I give them the Middle Finger I go into.