Brian Byron, Ptsd, Secretary discussed on Mentors for Military Podcast
The secretary of the Navy made one decision. The captain made a different decision. And the reason why the secretary of the Navy made his decision is based on the actions of the captain But you know in every situation. I think Iran poem military to find out there was like seventeen hundred people that engage within the poll and stuff and eighty eighty four percent said. Yeah this guy is the greatest of all time. You know a good leader. And that's the belief in in some of those that are that were no I. I understand their point because they made sure to reach out to me a couple of them to say. Hey listen. He's he's circumvent. Circumvented the chain of command. Well you know that for certain. Do you know that he didn't I reach the chain of command? Don't make the assumption that he didn't do that and he just blasted out an email. Well we sent out an email in unauthorized email account. Yup He he definitely did that In in his fault but that does that warrant relieving him if his command in itself. No I don't think so and then the other thing though that I wanNA bring attention to. Is that two year talk about leadership to you're talking about is spot on my back. Got New dawn security details and they put me in dumb spots. Like I'm not going to be like. Hey Bro you know do this you know I almost always use it as a teachable moment like check it out on trying to manage perception manager quality of life here with the client. Yep this is war. These are the implications of what you did. We gotta make sure that this doesn't happen again because you just you know. This is going to have implications here here here here here and here now in this spot now. We're in this spot. Yeah because we live and die as a team and when that learning you know it's like inception that learning happens. Then you have done something that so much more valuable than just discipline. And then if you do have to discipline It's just so much more effective that what you're talking about man. That strategy is is really really a good one also bringing them up to your teaching them in in. You're you're you're you're taking a a moment of weakness in your turning it into an inspirational moment to bring into your level and for them to see and now what happens is that you. You're you're playing with their emotions. You've now made them disappointed in themselves that they have now put you in a position and now the man. I don't want everyone if they respect you and they and they you inspire them they don't WanNa disappoint you. It's like your dad. You don't WanNa disappoint your parents. Yes so I mean you think about even the situation of where You know we had whistleblowers are individuals who were cadre members of ups off at were complaining about the the standards being changed for Ranger School for Special Forces. You know it's the same type of situation that command had to react because the news. It already gotten out. They leak that information and chose to go out to the public and to the media in order for it to be there it left little opportunities for the command to be able to do it now to their defense. They all say well. We brought this to the attention of the command and the command did little action. As a matter of fact they told us to be quiet and go away but every every action has a reaction. And that's what we're kind of talking about here You know in to have an open. Communication understand both sides opinions both sides perspective is what's most needed and Brian Byron I'll go to you in terms of what you do today. You know in protection if you had a you're dealing with hype visible clients and stuff you know and if this was a situation where something which might seem very minor occurs in which a gets out into the media and starts impacting your brand your company and what it is that you do for a living for your organization. You're going to have to take some kind of action at to your point. You said well I use use it as a teaching moment. Not Everybody would use that. As a teaching moment they'd say I'm GonNa cut the cancer. I'm going to get rid of this guy to show an action that I'm a leader. I'm following the right ways. I can't have individuals that act this way so therefore I've let this individual go. There was no track record or pattern of behavior that suggested that this was like on the spectrum of of behaviors that I expect from this dude than I would dare. I would definitely use it. A teachable moment because You Know Robert Greene. Forty-eight LAWS POWER. One of those learn how to turn your enemies into allies and former enemies have things to prove. Which isn't exactly right but For instance but that same principle you know someone who makes a big mistake. I believe can become more valuable to the team because the learning from that mistake means they're never going to do it again and they can influence other people not to make that mistake so anytime. I see dude mess up big and he knows he messed up big. You know it's like okay. Here's an opportunity to make this guy even more valuable. If if we can just navigate this in a really effective meaningful way if I really this already matters to him so I'm where I need to be in his art and his mind you know. So let's make sure we leverage this and see that's that's kind of my leadership style hundred percent man. I like to Kinda rebuild people anytime I can because it it. It proves to make a really strong team when y'all got your scars and all that stuff but you're still together and you're covering each other. Yeah and do about quitting well. In the military a lot of times we do after action reports to talk about you know the mission said what occurred what you know what we need to do. Better and those types of things so as a team we can improve upon that and it's all a learning moment right. It's all And I'm judy and everybody gets a chance to to speak you. Know and call their their teammates out and talk about this. We hear that a lot in especially in special forces where you know in ODA's and stuff they go through this a lot where they sit around and After a mission set they get the opportunity to say. Hey listen if you done this right. This wouldn't have occurred. Or Hey you know and Byron you may have dealt with the same thing in your line of work with the regiment and some of the other things mean you know it's you know from being on Free Fall Team and a demonstration team to rain judgment. It's it's you know it's you have to be able to eat humble pie on a daily basis and you have to be able to sit there and have your brothers or sisters. Sit there and go. Hey you didn't make formation on the job. Hey you you didn't clear your corner correctly. Hey you didn't do this if you had it on this this this this this is the second third fourth fifth orders of effect would have been a lot different if you would have done it right on the front end and sometimes you have to take and go. Yup I screwed up guys. I've got to be better and again goes back to what we said. At the beginning you know that continuous strive for perfection. In will I ever attain perfection? Nope but I'M GONNA try for it. I'M GONNA continue to be the best that I can be and you know by if I was on a protection detail which very well could potentially happen in the future and Barnes. The is the lead these fired. What's up fired this cool and I fail at that that thing Barnes GonNa look at me regardless of being friends. He's GonNa let me have it and I'm looking dead in the facing Dan. I screwed up. I let one of my home down and I've got to be better in the in in this in whatever it might have been you know what I'm saying. So one hundred percent. I think that in my opinion is what turns into the definition of a warrior high in today's Society Man because like now we're not chasing down killing things all the time. We're not like banging shields and swords anymore but I think that the modern warrior or you know the guy gets out and is like what the heck am I supposed to do like. I don't see the fight anymore. I don't I don't know who what where AM I. Fight is I'm dying inside your bro in the mirror. This is your new warfield. This is your new battlefield and your life's going to reflect back to you the fruits of that Labor ship of being able to fight yourself weaker versions of yourself and transform to better versions of Yourself. And so whether you're a mom a single mom with your you know like whatever. Your fight is whether it's against like wait finances relationships. Ptsd as a warrior. Your job is to just be the line between the chaos and the order in your life. I believe and you're always trying to push into that chaos and establish higher order by becoming a better and stronger version of yourself. And when you when you if you really got that warrior engine and you when you step into that. It feels like home. It's like man. I went so hard for the Marine Corps. I went so hard for some war. I didn't understand sometimes. Now I'm here and it's time for me to fight for myself. Fight for my family and fight for people who are dependent on me like on my own volition. Okay Dude like I know how to go hard like I know how to go now. It's time you heart you know. That's that's the conversation I'm having with myself and I tried to inspire others to have with themselves when they wake up in the morning. It's like not as a matter where you are as a matter. How much progress you made and all that trash you look yourself in. The Mirror is another day. It's time to fight like now after Siegel's happiness. It's it's part of the problem that I think that we have with guys getting off active duty and the transition. You're talking about Byron with you know guys not having that mindset of losing that mindset or not knowing how to apply it into a new world a new society but I think some guys and Gals I people within the military may run into these same types of situations even in a PCs. Let's face it. You may be spending two years or so with a high speed unit and guys and gals that are really motivated and had the right mindset and you're all one you know in in sync and all of a sudden. Upc's two totally different environment and these people don't have the same mindset that people don't WanNa get along and work as a team and you know have a cohesive environment They don't communicate the same way all those types of things in makes you frustrated Where I think you're also trying to say Byron is that you gotTa Find Your Own Way and you gotta play your personal mindset to the situation and make it even better one percent And that that's that's you know something. I wrote a book. I wrote a book called finding meaning after the military And it's about this very thing. It's about that transition that you go through but it's about finding your new fight because when you get out here and you wake up on that first morning and you ain't got no alarm clock in your life here you know and you're cutting your candies. You're making short driving. You're wearing right now. I didn't even notice that. Learn real you. Will you eventually learn? Hopefully not the hard way there. You know them you know comes with there. Should be a statue of of responsibility on the West Coast to balance out the statue of Liberty Because Freedom Without any purpose Alec at kills a lot of people and I think what happens is people they. They don't find their new fight and they just wandering through life. And what do you do something? You don't have a purpose for you can't find value. You know what I'm saying the way staying on the counter what to do. I don't know you throw it away. You MISSED USE IT. You abuse it and then it gets eliminated. And so that's why got brothers and sisters out here going through what I call the atrophy of identity. You look in the mirror and who used to be has gone so far away because wait movie real man. You're like I'm never again. Ptsd is knowing. You'll never be that tight again. That didn't answer every you know and you start to you. Tell them the same stories and your wife doesn't care about your stories anymore. She's heard it too many times..