Dan Right, Paper Journal, Douglas discussed on The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Podcast
Is they're. They're not just making it up but they're having to grapple with all of that and so that they're more aware of how challenging is to simply say well. No I'm not going to do that. Women are an pass more. You said we'll inherently more trink and and it doesn't mean of course the men can't be delivering but there does appear to be sort of the day's pretty strong that there is a more natural tendency towards this so therefore what does it mean for centralism. I think that in some ways I probably did write the book a little to none unaware of what you're describing having but but probably in a more black and white way them would be helpful. You know optimally help for women. I think that's actually an thing because I think I could have acknowledged this better and and maybe provided more examples to help someone okay. I can see how I could realistically live this S. given all this that I see all these responsibilities that I feel building on that. I I tend to think that essentially is in some ways more useful useful for women in this sense because I'm writing for people to feel empowered to feel that they don't simply have to go through life endlessly putting cutting one more responsibility after another after another. I see a need therefore I have to own it. I mean for men. Sometimes I want to say the opposite. Is We have to take some responsibility wants -bility. We might be a tendency tending to do that so we need to being essentially would mean seeing the service. I need to do in the world and feeling a connection into it and not to live a selfish life but I feel like it in a in a sense. It's almost opposite message. What's essential we. I'll give you an example so so so many of women I've worked with over the years with essentially him have struggled to protect their the asset that is them that they're so quick to be nurturing to other people to be aware aware of people's needs that they that the last person who is getting spiritual physical mental emotional renewal is them and does that assume that ends up being a worse problem for them in the long run than if they were to in my case sometimes always a jerk. He's not committee anybody like listen if I don't take care of me that I'm not going to be able to be helpful to anyone else if I'm unhappy if I'm if I'm not productive. I'm not in a good head space and I can't be great for my wife. If I can't go from our friends so I'd rather be very selective and really fully commit to the commitments am committee to as opposed to just kind of half assing it makes it does make sense and I think it's if he is right. We have to live with this example of a friend of mine who was doing really amazing works and entrepreneurial over the world great things and and getting more and more worn out and one time he gets home for one of his trips in these asleep and wakes up like you said to me is like a gun went off and staff asked sat in bed looking around what's happened and nobody else's awake and he thinks okay. Maybe it's something do you know and then and then it happens again and then it happens in the middle of the day a few days later. He's just walking along. That street is suddenly this any goes to the doctor. They said well listen really you are just completely fatigued the law more to the story than that but that's the gist of it and they say look you've just got to go home and rest for like six weeks while he said as the classic overachiever says. I'll be back in to watch this well over the next two weeks he tries to followed council if the doctor and finds that he is sleeping sixty now's a day just dragging along to goes back to Douglas Okay. I get it right. This is this this is clearly an issue that really is for real so in the end he had to step down from the company he was leading he spent two or three years in recovery after all all of this experience and and some of that's really painful for him to realize that he had got to that point all good motives but nevertheless that's where he's at he said look this summary. Lesson ever mentioned the phrase but he says protect the asset beauty only vehicle through which you can contribute anything to anyone and and if you perpetually don't take care of the basic human needs than than you will be wearing it out that asset to the point that it starts. I it's just decision fatigue. It becomes a burn out your burn out everybody nobody around you including the most important essential to life it just irritation to you and it's not because your week is because you spent you've been using the deepest resources resources that are in you and you can do that for a while but you could pull an all nighter once in a while but if you do this perpetually you can no longer contrbute you. You can no longer in the early said this. You can no longer be a great. You'RE NOT GONNA be great in any relationship. Okay who if you're the greatest person ever married the greatest I never and if I don't sleep well. I'M NOT GONNA show well in that relationship. I'm not going to be great with my children. Are Great at work have great insights when I'm rising all of those things things will be lost if you don't put the protection of the asset I why follow up roses every week and I could describe a little more about that but I yeah. I don't know how I'd be an essentially without this we hear about it signed process you well. This is what I I. I have a series of questions. I asked myself and literally right. I have journal it'll my favorite technology is a gentleman right now the vision so I'm Constantly Handwritten Journal Handwritten Jared. Oh Yes for sure for me. I've done both but I love I love. I Love the paper Journal because you not distracted in it. Every other form of technology you can have the distractions even if you really eliminate all the APPS APPS and all the notifications and I've done all of that already on my phone it still connected to the Internet so you you have the Johnson to be on any number of thousand interruptions. You can't do that in the paper journal. That's exactly why like it's almost meditative in comparison to being in technology an hour or two every Sunday for me is spent vent doing a weekly design session series of questions. I five questions I what essential things went right right last week just a gratitude list but you're looking for the things that really mattered to you that you went right. You can stop positively otherwise so you know you get worn out before you begin in your essentially Judy so that's always enjoyable your many things. You can think of that's fine number. Two is the question what is is. What is something essential that you're underinvesting Act Now. I WANNA I WANNA do this. I want to do it with you. Who whose game which which I think either way game. Would you want to do is. I'm an interrupt this episode to talk about my ass specifically my ass in Beta brands dress pant. Get your pants. It's pretty good hall. Michael Talk about a sweet sweet US ladies and gentlemen. This is also especially helpful now that I've gained a few. Lb's from pregnancy you know keeps you tighten heightened toned and they're black and very slimming and flattering which I really need right now anyway so these are these pants that you can wear to work but then you can also also happy hour but you could also. I feel like where to work out if you're like me and you're Kinda Lazy. They really don't disappoint so they have fake zippers fake pockets. It's front buttons and belt loops so there's not all this extra stuff hanging off your pants which you get the benefit of having that asked tightened up in the suite yoga pants. I don't know why more for women don't wear those. Yoga pants be in trouble for that but listen. I'm a fan big fan yeah. We know you like these. Fancy can't stop talking about him so everybody likes pants on your so they have different shapes and sizes is it tastes. I personally a huge fan of the skinny but they also have a crop bootleg straight leg so whatever floats your boat here colors black navy grey khaki. I've told you this before I like. Black Pants just like to keep it tight and right. You know so you could do you there anyway. These pants are coming in handy because I've developed a big addiction. Dan Right now to cereal like nostalgic cereal with almond milk and oatmeal raisin cookies and I need all the help I can get so like I said these pants pants are. GonNa keep it tight and toned or looking titan toned. At least you know what I mean. The point is no one wants to be uncomfortable and work. Pants are happy hour pants. You know what I mean Mike. You're you're driving and you have to unbutton your pants at a stop light..