Taff, Milk discussed on I Do Podcast
So then you have to set limits without parent, and you have to be honest with them, and I'm talking about somebody who mentally competent, as you know, in our society in our world, I should say dementia is prevalent. And so we have people who are cognitively impaired and memory and paired, and they forget they called you yesterday with the different Taff to do. I'm talking. You can't have the conversation about reasoning and finding a balance with somebody that has dementia. That's not gonna work. That's a whole other probably podcast that we could have. But right now, it's about survival of the marriage. So that the marriage doesn't fail or and because of over caregiving, I call it over carrying where they drop everything in their life. And their parent is the focus and they're trying to find. Answers for that parent. And there might not be the answers when somebody is eighty five or on a slippery. So they're vanishing towards the end of their life. And in something we'll end their life. And we're not a adult children as much as we will these parents want them to be in our lives. We can't stop the natural process of life coming to an end, we could make sure and find resources for parents to have the highest quality life, but that life will end and we have to come to that realization. But we don't want our her relationship to end as well. And so the if the parent is reasonable, and and not compromise cognitively, then I think you'd have a conversation with them that adult child says, you know, mom, I could do errands for you on Wednesday mornings and Saturday afternoons will will that. And I do tours for you, and I could do errands. How will that work? And hopefully, the mom the dad says that will work for me, but they will try to get you to come over for something. I have heard so many. I'm out of milk and bread. I have nothing to eat. This is the dope. Children's don't me. Then I go over and I open my mother's refrigerator. And I can't even find ring to put the milk in there so much in there, and the food is is fine. She didn't really need the milk or breads, which he needed was to to have relationship to be relationship and somebody loves term cares about her..