Ray Bevere discussed on Chicks in the Office

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To see if they like it till the end and then they applause and then i think did they even like it or is that just a formality with come comedy. I'm communes are so insecure. Because you need validation constantly did get aleph okay. They sell like me still like me. I never do crowd work. Because i don't want to ever have a moment where i'm not in control and might not might disappoint them so like people are scared to sit in the front row and my show because she's going to roast us. I will never ever talk to you probably ever unless you heckle me. Because i'm so scared that i might let you down especially because people are paying a lot of money to see me now. I don't ever want you to ever dull moment. So i don't ever give up control and what i found is that it has diminishing returns like stand up his great. And there's something i i do love about. It is being on stage in the in the spectacle of it all and i'm approaching it differently now but i really loved being being forced to stop because i was addicted to it. I was doing it because i was scared. You know the way people have been addicted to exercise before if i take a day off. I'm gonna get fat. If i take one if i dressed one day because my ankle hurts someone else is gonna be look hotter than me or what those fears we have of other people are gonna pass me by and people are gonna forget about me and i'm gonna lose everything i did in stopping and having everyone have to stop so it it made. It made me go okay. There's not other people out there doing it. We're all on the same page. It allowed me to stop and gave me permission to. And then when i did stop i realized that i did miss going on stage every night and yelling into a microphone and saying my feelings but i got to do podcasts and do the same thing and actually feel more intimate connection. Because i don't know there's something about doing a podcast. I do mine every everyday monday. Through thursday and i didn't even want me to do four days. I was like would've gotten paid the same to do one hour once a week and i was like no. I want to four days a week. Because i wanna stop doing stand up every night. I need an outlet for my feelings. That isn't me having to put on clothes and go to a club and hang out and wait and then going state and then maybe have about set. That makes me feel sad now. I'm i'm finding other ways to express myself in connect. That isn't dependent on validation and the messages i get are so much greater to me than than laughs laughs. I don't even feel anymore like they were. They got me high eighteen years ago when i started but they don't give me high anymore and what gets me. High is when i perform stand up is presenting an idea that makes people go. Whoa hadn't thought of it that way like well like the moments i have had with stand where it shifts might perception of the world. I think i'm not scared now. Too with my standup. Have silence and have and say something. That isn't funny. But is like whoa. That's kind of an important thing that no one saying. And maybe it's not hilarious. But i'm maybe not gonna do that thing again now. Or wow what she just said about. I'm talking about molestation and rape now in my set. And it's like i i. Those subjects are not inherently funny. And yes. I have jokes in them. But really i'm just trying to get out information and to make it more acceptable to talk about these things To make victims feel less alone. Even though i have not been victimized in those two ways that i know of molestation you can. It can happen to you and not. You cannot remember which i kind of think probably happened to me because i'm obsessed with it and i'm very scared of men and not trusting but i'm talking about these subjects on stage because i think it's a new. It's the new standards not scary to me anymore. Getting on stage like talking in front of people. The things that you still really lake. Make me nervous and feel like -ccomplish something like the stagefright. the am i going to bomb all those things. That doesn't get me off anymore. What gets me off his tackling a subject that makes everyone's asshole tighten up and then somehow like make everyone feel okay about it and actually learned that we need to talk about these difficult subjects because the perpetrate. Like you know when when we say you can't talk about rape or like well let's not bring up rape it's gonna like trump maybe triggered people which i validate and like if i do trigger someone during my show with it. I would personally apologized them. Because i don't want to make them have a panic attack but i think that talking about these things when we say we can't when you say you can't make jokes you're you're silencing people that you're silencing that experience people the some something that happened to someone that was the worst thing that's ever happened to them cannot is by saying you can't joke about it saying you can't talk about essentially it's saying and then when you create an air of ood that's awkward. Don't talk about it. That makes people kind of go then. Then you don't want to talk about ray bevere. I mean it. trickles down. and then guess who wins rapists. because then they know their victims won't talk about it because it's such a shameful thing to even breach and the the people that are perpetrating. These things when when we go against that. So i don't know where i'm going with this when i'm saying so like i've had to look for other ways to get off because i'm not chasing famous more not chasing going on stage high a lot because i was like. Oh it's a new challenge. And now i want to do that and so i'm always just trying to look for some kind of light to get off. And now the highs saying island. I was gonna say boy islands on there because i do feel like the response to you on. The show has been great. There hasn't really been. You know you get the hosts here and there and they maybe they crack a joke every once in a while. But you're so involved in the show to a level that i think a lotta hosts reality. Tv shows aren't that it brings like a lighter. Feel to it like.

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