How To Do Scary Things (a Chat With Marie Forleo)
So you just see you good to see you. Thanks for having me on. How is California lovely as always? It's always a nice change of pace. I Love New York City. It's my home that I also love changing it up and being in a new environment and having a new vibe. So it's great. Is this something you guys do this. Every winter for a couple of years now right started third coming up here probably in like twenty twelve twenty thirteen and then around twenty fifteen when my stepson. What away will actually? He went away to college much earlier. The LAP by two thousand fifteen is when we made kind of permanent thing. Okay and is it. Do you guys have a place out there. We go okay. I mean I love New York as well like take it is my home. We can't really imagine leaving but I've been here for a long time and having to do every winter here. I think I'm done so yeah this year. We're doing Mexico for a month month to get out but my family's in southern California so I'm I am that like do we become the bicoastal people. Yeah I mean it's gorgeous. It's amazing amazing. There's challenges everywhere in the world. Especially you know this this side of the US But I like it. You know for me I really liked to change environments. I think it's really good for me growing growing up in the east coast again. I've done the winters my whole life. Yeah yeah so it whereas I grew up in California my whole life and was like it's a winter I'm like make Ryan. It's snowing and now I feel like a decade. I'm like do you know your type. Grandma that's up in my head. I feel like I've maybe done that But never really go too deep to memorize it and get into it well. I just went off that he'd been with it and the last year and I am any room for which means that authenticity is really important to me and I realized Oh this is kind of one of the reasons why rather a crap like influence or blogger person on that side of my business. Because I don't want to promote anything if I'm not like yes. People really need this one. I want this and one of those things is books that being in our position so many people send books which is lovely and I love books and I'm so honored to get them but there's it's so rare that I actually share one that I'm like okay. The majority of my audience legit needs to read this like. We've only got some chime just really conscious of what I'm like. We you must. I have this. You've got to go by this but I reached out to you because I binged your everything is figure audible audiobook in like we and was like doc okay. This addresses the majority of F. accused that I get from my audience like this is what everyone is seeking which is basically they want to change and it's the top of the year when we are talking more about change more in that mindset but this is year round like Yes yes we want to change our health or our financial circumstances or global warming or being afraid or are career all across the board and I realized Oh everything everything is bigger audible is really about. How do you change and so it was like? Let's off on the broadcast and talk about this because this applies to all of us and we've been talking about on the podcast last couple of weeks so I'm curious what you've learned from you and all these people who you students that you've worked with people in Britain to you after your Marie talk now more more people after the book. How do we change? Yeah so that's what that's what this whole puppy is about right. Everything is figure out of all all is well. Here's what I think we have to start. We have to back up and realize that it's possible one of the things that I was really excited about in terms of writing this. This book was how to help people tap into the innate power and intelligence that they already have and when I started to who peel back that notion it really brought me back to our educational system and how at this point in time. It hasn't done a really great job for most of us. There may eighty some exceptions. But I know in terms of my own schooling and my own upbringing doesn't do a stellar job of teaching us how to develop winning mindsets and healthy perspectives. And how how to really optimize our brain how to use this thing to help us create positive change in our own lives and thereby in our communities around us and you know just because we. I didn't learn in school. Doesn't mean we say nobody taught it to us for me. It's like that's the whole reason why. I became a coach quite honestly because when I started to delve into the world old of personal development and professional development and began to understand that there were all these solid principles and concepts and science. That actually worked I was like why. Why are we not teaching this to kids when they're in pre kindergarten and grade school and high school? And why am I just learning about this in my twenties and so the way that we create change is I realizing that we have the power to and if we have the power to them what holds us back and so. That's why this idea this belief this mantra this philosophy that everything is figuring is so incredibly powerful. I Remember Hillary when I was first starting to write the book And it was struggling to write the book. Let's be real. I was out to Brunch with a few friends. And one of my friends brought along her eight-year-old time we're going around the table and everyone was talking about what they're up to in their in their life and they say what are you working on and he said I'm working on a new book and this what's it called. I said everything is figuring out and my friends eight year old son was like no. It's not nope nope it was so it was like dead silence at the table and I was like I said this is actually awesome. Please tell me more your dining hall. Yeah what do you believe is not figure out of all. And he's like well we human beings can't grow working wings out of our back and fly away this kid already. He's amazing I said well first of all have you heard of crisper. If not you need to go google that because you know maybe in the next fifteen or twenty years that actually might be possible. I said but stepping back you do know that we human beings can indeed fly and he was like. Yeah right okay. Well what about this one. I can't bring my dog back from the dead. The one that died a few years ago and in my ahead Hiller. I'm thinking all right. That's some pet cemetery. Is Ray there but that I said well that may be true. But you do know that. Scientists are working on cryogenics cryogenics and people have been cloning their dogs for a few years and he was like. Oh I get your right. So some conversations like that inspired me to create create a set of rules around this idea which gives us a mental container through which we can use it for. Its intended purpose which is to help us create change and thereby create change in the world around around us so there are three rules figure out about philosophy and they go like this rule number one. All problems or dreams are figure out -able rule number number two. If a problem isn't figure out -able it's not really a problem. It's a fact of life or law of nature like death gravity taxes roll number three and this is the big one. You may not care enough to solve a particular problem or reach a particular dream. And that's okay Eh. But find something you do care deeply about and get your back to rule number one. When I was researching the book there was actually this powerful quote quote by a British? Quantum theorist named David Deutsch. And he says everything that is not forbidden by the laws of nature is achievable given the right knowledge. It's actually from another other mind-bending book called the beginning of Infinity. Which I highly recommend on audible because trying to get through it? It's so dentists like nyquil asleep. But you don't have to take a quantum theorist word further my work for that exam for for that instance. I just invite people to try it before you deny it. Try It for you deny it. So there's some other points of potential all skepticism around the idea actually. The three rules handles most of them.