Is Pornography Addiction Real? Everything You Wanted to Know (And Didn't Know You Wanted To Know) About Porn Addiction

The Virtual Couch
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

About actually path back reboot that is coming up soon am so excited about and the magnetic marriage course that is getting close. I will have a lot of announcements coming up in the next probably one to two weeks about how you can find out more about that. But the quickest ways to go to Tony Over Bay DOT COM and sign up to find. Out more information about all kinds of things, and then there's a right there on the homepage is the parenting positively in the not. So positive of times that is a free course it's going to remain free and I highly encourage you to go there. The feedbacks been great. The lot of people have taken the course and there's even starting to be nice feedback within. The course of things that have helped people along the way of parenting. So let's get to today's episode and I got to be real I have wasted over an hour this morning I got into my office after four. AM trying to get a podcast recorded before I started seeing clients today at six and I had the camera up I was going to put. This episode on Youtube actually recorded about five or ten minutes and then realized that there were some parts that I wasn't recording and tried to go back in suck some audio out of video file and then started recording again, and at some point I just felt you know what I need to reboot I need to restart in. So doing this, this episode is not. Up on Youtube as video, but I always put the audio episodes up there as well. There are some people that like to consume their podcasts on YouTube. So you still can find it there on the virtual couch Youtube Channel but I wanted to talk about pornography today and I have been I deal with it on a daily basis. This is still as as. Far as the class I, see during a week, I see a healthy amount of a couples. I also see a significant amount of women that are trying to get out of relationships with people who may be struggling with narcissistic personality disorder. So women recognize trauma bonds and able to break free from there I do a little bit a little bit of depression and then I still see a fair amount of clients each week that are trying to put pornography behind them once, and for all and the mode or model that I take is very strength based approach in it's one where when I was going on the road interviewing doing some interviews for my book he's a porn addict now what an expert and a former addict answer. Your questions I like to say that so far I am Oh, for I think fourteen hundred people that I've helped in having shame be a component of recovery and I just I wanted to talk off the cuff today about pornography and compulsive sexual behavior, and so forgive me if I'm going to sound like I'm going all over the place but I think it's significant. To say that even a decade or more ago when I was starting to do this work working with pornography and compulsive sexual behavior that there really wasn't as much of a strengths based model they're still a little bit of a debate in the professional realm of a more of this medical model or this twelve step model, this addiction model versus a more of. A positive psychology strength based model and I have been working with this strength based model for a very long time, and that is what gets results in my opinion and I can getting say after doing this for almost fifteen years and help about fourteen hundred individuals and then people that go through my path back online recovery program that the strength based approach has been. Very, effective what does that mean by a strength based approach? I. Liked to tell the story that when I got into counseling and I was working at a nonprofit I was working with people that were struggling with an and let me just tackle this right out of the gate. I'M GONNA use the phrase pornography addiction, and I'm GonNa talk about compulsive sexual behavior and. I might or I might just say struggles with pornography in why. So one of the first questions that I get truly is is my husband and addict and and I'm going to pull some things out of my book a little bit today, which is sound. So pretentious I know it does but I really am proud of this book with that I did with Joshua. It's continued to sell copies for professionals for the betrayed and for the the betrayer and I think it just really answer. So many questions about pornography addiction, compulsive sexual behavior. But so here's chapter one. The first question asked is, how do I know if he's actually an addict and here's my comment on this so when a client comes into my office to talk about her partner, who she thinks is an addict, she'll usually begin to list all the reasons that she sure. He's addicted to pornography and then she'll ask me the question. How do I really know and so at this point, I recognize that she's doubting herself and questioning your intuition, and this usually happens for one of two reasons either one she thinks that she's not qualified to make that diagnosis or most commonly, she doesn't want it to be true and so I'll hear the clients entire monologue about her partner's behavior of behavior that letter into my office in the first place only to. Hear her say. But I'm probably wrong and I feel like she's really thinking is please tell me I'm wrong and chances are she's not wrong but there is help and there's hope and so they're countless definitions of addiction and each with its own little nuances. But for the work that I do

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