A highlight from Redux: Is Porn Wrong?

Dear Sugars
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Produced by the island at you are boston. The universe has good news for the lost lonely and heartsick. Sugar is here the both of us speaking straight into your ears. I'm cheryl strayed. I'm steve almond. This is dear sugar radio show. Won't you some bitter sweet baby. Ma initially see high sti cheryl. So guess what we're gonna talk about today Are we going to talk about. Evangelical manners talking about puritan ethics talking about pornography. I was close big big topic. That has become bigger in our lifetimes when you say absolutely. When's the first time usa porn or interacted with porn. I remember finding a couple of playboys in a abandoned building and The cops like catching me and my friend. We were probably eleven or twelve sky. Cops time you thought we thought we were arsonists. St we were at. We were at best now actually confused. Well there's a whole that's a whole codes playboy magazine and the cops. Unbeknownst to the cop this was a very happy day in my life. I was like oh i finally found the thing. I always fantasized. I would find. And that's maybe the point. Is that back in the old days. The the the feathered seventies porn when you were a kid was hard to come by was not something that was out there in the ecosystem. It was something that was covert hidden in closets in abandoned buildings. You didn't it wasn't something that was at your fingertips well at the very least. I think a lot of people grew up in homes. Where the the father you know had his stacks of magazines. The first time i saw porn. I didn't know it was porn because i was so young i was like three or four and my sister and i were playing in our garage. It was back when my parents were still married to each other. And we kim panis magazines and they weren't playboy or penthouse or hustler. Were they were something else. And once i grew up. And i remember those images. I knew that they were a kind of S annum there were women who were chained in like like jail cells with guys kind of half dressed like cops and the women were naked. And i mean it sounds funny now but i remember as a kid using a kid because it didn't yeah i didn't know what sex was. any of that. So i just thought. Why are these men doing these terrible things to these women. And i always felt really. Whenever i came upon porn. I have to say i have a negative feeling about it and you know that that feeling about it was something that was really challenged in more recent years when i started to be friends with people who were strippers sex workers and who made pornography or who were saying. Listen you know this is actually. I'm sex positive. And this is actually what i wanna do to make money. And and everyone has a right to you. Know their desire their sexual desires and see the full expression of that and so we are going to delve into the question of what is porn. Is there such a thing as ethical porn. How does porn hurt our relationships. How might porn help relationships as we're going to ask all these questions not just in this episode but we're doing a two parter on right. That's right i'm myself. I'm still trying to figure it out. What about your feeling do you. Do you see porn as a positive in your life in the world. no. I don't but along with that feeling of itchiness because pornography is essentially still taboo and forbidden and not just because it's about sex but because it's about power and and it's about a certain kind of dominance and shame okay largely directed at women. But just in general and it's about taking something that's intimate and deeply personal and making it impersonal. Something that's really emotional and sit making it essentially very unemotional and away almost Limbic gymnastic at a certain point. It's kind of the glands not of the heart so the writers sensitive oh in me says a and the horny dude in me says oh and those two cells collide within me all the time. Foreign in the age of the internet is anonymous. It's moved into our private lives. It's moved into our homes. It is started to infiltrate relationships more and more deeply.

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