A highlight from BOX331: Wielding The Whalebone


Costco in anchorage mandy rights and said i was listening to one of your more recent episodes the other day you were doing a thing in the middle about anchorage costco with the thieving ravens. That were stealing things out of people's carts. I literally started cackling like a deranged hyena while driving to work. That's my costco. Confirm that the anchorage costco. Ravens are constantly plotting and scheming amazing. It's become a citywide joke. It's not just costco though they. Steal in rummage everywhere. I've seen so many hilarious raven moments here but my most favorite to date is from eight or nine years ago. I guess this has been going on for a while one day after working a makeup gig. I was exhausted in walking to my truck to load up and go home. It was the end of summer later in the evening. So this huge parking lot then i was in was almost completely empty. There was a slight breeze and it was the land of the midnight. Sun dusky at that. Point is that was loading my kid into the passenger side. I looked up and saw a raven perched on the corner of the tailgate of an old beat up. Pick up truck parked diagonally to me. He was staring me down. Which i couldn't have cared less about. Except that he was doing it with a red dumdum soccer in his beak fucking hilarious in eerily creepy as shit. I couldn't tell if he wanted to kick my ass or for me to pull up next to him and enjoy the breeze and a dumb dumb on my own. The dusky overcast and gentle breeze really knocked this moment out of the park though. I tried to get a picture. Tease all my friends who are terrified of the ravens. But it just flew away as i was about to take it. I feel bad for the people here who are afraid of the birds. I like to imagine that trips to costco for them is like some people's experience trying to make it through those haunted houses and mazes at halloween. I have to admit that This tickles my darker humor bones uncontrollably though that mandy sent that thanks mandy that amazing once again. It's it's wonderful to tell a story and then here's for here from somebody that actually has firsthand. Experience and i'd lollipops can't be good for birds now and with the beak. How does that even work. I don't know but i picture him like with it. Stuck in the corner of his cheek in his cheeks. Bulging out you know. He's got a ball cap on kind of a skew looking over his ray bans. Oh yeah ravens. Ray raven bands. They call them. And just you know staring this chick down like get the fuck out of my parking lot. Last night we were having a bonfire and we were. I wouldn't call it a bonfire. What was it well. It's just a fire fire in the firepit so fire. We're having a fire pit fire last night. Sitting around in the topic of hamilton came up. And how much. We really enjoyed watching that. In fact we're due to watch it again. I think in the near future that got me thinking about founding fathers. The united states. We're familiar with many of them. You know washington hamilton. Franklin and adams. I wanna make my own when my own musical. I have no doubt that it would be wonderful. But have you heard of governor. Morris governor morris. Yeah we've heard of all of those guys. John hancock and madison and jefferson. He was an equally important founding father but really very eccentric dude. You don't hear much about him and governor by the way is not a title. It's his name. Oh god that's excellent governor morris love it. It's a real sneaky way to mislead some people. According to wikipedia governor morris was an american statesman. He was a founding father of the us a signatory of the articles of confederation and the united states constitution. He wrote the preamble to the us constitution. Wow he has been called by history. The penman of the constitution in an error when most americans thought of themselves as citizens of their respective individual states morris was the one who advanced the idea of being a citizen of a single union of states a united state. If you will he was also one of the most outspoken opponents of slavery among those who were present at the constitutional convention he was represented or he represented new york in the united states senate between eighteen hundred and eighteen o three. He was actually the guy who wrote the line. We the people of the united states probably the most famous phrase in the constitution. Wow wow the original text read. Before he came in and edited. The original text read quote we. The people of the states of new hampshire massachusetts rhode island. Providence plantation connecticut. New york new jersey. Pennsylvania delaware maryland virginia north carolina self carolina in georgia do ordain and declare and establish the following constitution still going for the government of ourselves and our prosperity. Moore's changed to a far more safe concise and in sustained quote to we the people of the united states in order to form a more perfect union. I am a fan already. And that's all well and good but there were a few things that you know. I'm sure you know about because most people don't even know who this guy is. I didn't anyway. Maybe maybe you do. Morris apparently liked to have sex in public. He was we. Don't king shame. No it's just unusual to think of the guy who wrote the preamble to the constitution. Getting it on the balcony of a cruise ship or wherever. It may be ben. Franklin to err bathe that's true. It was different time entirely It was reported that often did it in weird places including the liuw in paris. he Yeah he didn't marry until he was fifty seven so as smart wouldn't believe the shit i he was a bachelor for many years was known for his romantic trysts as a statesman he traveled to france quite regularly There he had an extended affair with a married woman who lived at the liuw at the time. This was weird before the louvre became an art museum. Oh okay it was actually a palace for the french king. Okay that makes so much more. Yes governor morris is lady friend lived there and moore's kept a diary which is why we know so much about him and his Antics and he actually had a word for sex in his diarrhea. Called it celebrating. According to his diary he did a lot of celebrating and he liked to take risks. During the act of sex one of his entries in his diary describes like auto erotic risk. No no no. I think just you know doing it in places where he could get caught. Okay he was into that. He described him and his mistress again was married in the hallway. Doing it in the hallway with the doors open While his her husband was there it said in his diary go to the louvre. We take the chance of interruption and celebrate in the passage well. Mademoiselle is at the harpsichord and the drawing room. The husband is below. Visitors hourly are expected. The doors are all open and we celebrate. This was a common theme that ran throughout his diary recorded. These trysts i mean. We don't celebrate shame.

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