United States, Reese, Franken discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Come on her face said that was it like what would it be like to kiss her? What would you come on? That is over the line. I don't want that in my. I don't want this image of thoughts in my head I think about it. Like with jumpsuits like the first time you have this but like the first time. I saw somebody wearing a jumpsuit. I thought recently I thought. Oh what's the second time you see the MARINA GERMS? That your dad the third time. You're like me a jumpsuit. It it just gets in your heads guys who said Oh. It doesn't affect me at all. It's just like sneezing but you know we know that even when you think it doesn't affect you and then there was some guys who really felt like whether it was. I don't I can't say whether it was true or not but they felt harmed by their park consumption and they had never told another adult dot and they wanted to talk to me specifically. I wasn't even watching porn and when I was new to masturbating I felt so guilty. We weren't even a religious house. I was constantly trying to quit that activity. I thought it was a Horn of me in Showed a total lack of control. And I was regularly trying to monitor that in and I couldn't so I can only imagine if I had on top of that Objectively some gnarly images. I'm tying with this already behavior. I'm for whatever reason shameful of in the nets in there to shame boys when when talking about it for sure right and to recognize like. I said sex curiosities normal. Masturbation is normal and to just kind of think about some of the stuff like if you know college corner or less satisfied with their sex lives on but their performance summit partners bodies managed thing to know. Sure the thing that one guy said to me that really affected me was even about any of that he just said you know. I feel like pornography for this generation. It's it's affected our ability to be innocent in a sexual relationship and just explore sex without preconceived ideas he said that's just been fucked by porn for us. Will you kinda start knowing every single conceivable thing that could happen? Yeah right you've seen every reese and yet the yes. Yes yes nothing and I mean I don't know I don't know what the ultimate impact is of all of that but I know it's a huge change and I don't think that we can raise kids in a culture of explicit media and not even porn but like regular media has gotten much more explicit. And pretend like we don't have to talk to them about it or I mean that's another thing with girls like we have all these years that I've been writing girls we've recognized I'm sure as a parent you recognize that the media images out there can be harmful to girls right. You knew that right. They can reduce them to their body. Their objectified there. You know whatever. It's bad for the mental health. All these things we know. So we've done a much better. Job of like Shrunk Union with them about media leaders in these organizations and there's like psychologists and advocates and activists and parents and everybody's like all careful and conscious about how we raise our girls in this media culture but boys are in the same stew right and even my current circles like most. La Parents are hyper aware of not creating potential of food dismay. But no one's thinking about that for the boys at all crossing online. No one's worried at all. No that's my. That's my point so we know how to do this. We've done it with girls. We know how to create media literacy. At least I mean it's not perfect on it doesn't always you know but we try. We try to give them because we can't make the meeting go away. We try to give them a Lens. We try to give them a critique. Nobody's doing that with boys. Nobody's during the boys and I feel like that's something that isn't even about like you know saying the word clitoris to your son which may be. You'd rather put yourself on the eye with a fork. Do but you know you can like start pointing out. I mean I remember when my daughter was really little. She's sixteen but when she was a like you know when she was little mood watch you know whatever animated films and just like. Hey honey you know look. The debt characters is bigger than arrests. Your is bigger than yours is bigger than your waist like. Where does she keep her uterus? Is it in her purse. Like what is going on I. I wouldn't have said that if I had a son arrived right. Yeah Yeah Yeah we say to. Our girls were reading We came under fire about this but we we are no way saying you shouldn't read snowing the seven doors. We love it. We still read it but we're always like kind of weird. A stranger came in. Kiss this woman who is dead. Isn't that kind of bizarre? Without even asking the NECROPHILIAC. Anne's not ask permission right. Just something to observe the Democrat but those are like those little weird. I mean those things with your daughters even learn how did like throw him in all the time. But it's because like you think okay the culture is going to try to brainwash your daughter right and you gotta get in there. I gotta get it so that she hears your voice whenever she sees that. Snow had story saying well. That's weird. Isn't you know like you want her to hear that? But we haven't really thought about like how our boys need that from US too. Yeah well I'm I'm just delighted that you've Explored this topic. It seems still in its infancy where we're talking about what we need to do to get boys. That's who decided with me too thing like on one hand it's created this imperative to reduce sexual violence super important but it's also created this really positive and exciting opportunity to engage boys in all these conversations about Saxon intimacy and gender dynamics masculinity in ways that we never have and that is like a tremendously exciting possibility to me. Yeah you're right I don't I can't imagine there's not a household where this topic doesn't come up comes up with mine all the time. I mean it's in the news all the time and it's one of the only happy accidents of the whole thing is like it is starting a conversation. That's long overdue right. And that doesn't by the way we're only be negative but can also be about the positive. How do we help people get their? Yeah well Peggy thank you so much. For flying down yeah. I'm about a third of the way to the book and I absolutely love it. It's just I like it as much is on the masculine. It's really great. I also like how Franken is thank you. I appreciate that you're talking talking talking to them. Nothing's kind of sugar coated. It's like now this is a glimpse. This is what it is Super Fun. It's great all.