Patrice O.`Neil, Boston, Puerto Rican discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Mortar. Really. Big Drink. I bought boughten all of the city Brooklyn to. A bartender to place a mob lace. Bay Ridge one time and A fight with his nearly waiter after work. SHITTY ATTITUDE BRONC GONNA fight they called me goes don't come back to work. Yeah but I want come at least to get my paycheck goes don't come back in fact, don't back to bridge for a few like. Yeah who's the waiter? He was a nephew of Gambino in one of those guys like they were on the show kind of new owners but you know don't come Back Bay Ridge. Don't come back because you see them in there you know. But you know I didn't think idiot work for you. To. Grow Up to be. Rough. Macho. Bar and grill. And then I worked a bunch of places say marks I worked at. The only jobs I had here were the barley noble astro place. Extra place. I saw a girl get beat. Down on rollerblades one day. What why Ray Rice knife? No. No. She there were two doors. Doors, there's a set of doors you walked in and there's a little hallway and another set of doors getting the store right and so. They're like, Hey, there's a confrontation outside we take a look at it see what's going on and it's his white girl with three black girls and so I go out to the open, the outside doors I outdoors doors they start coming in with me, and so now I'm in the middle of the front she's in rollerblades. And I go. Hey, guys guys calm down calm down the girls like she called me the n word and I was like what and then the girl the rollerblades goes she is and she called all of them and I just got out and they've beat her down in that. Thing and she was on rollerblades skip slipping around. Faulk it was insane. Welcome to. New. York. Out of the way. The guy out we, the manager is The information. The information. Really. That was fucking. He's Org right down the block and say. You have over there. no, I don't think so. And then and then I worked the door Boston and I remember this girl this Puerto Rican couple came up and they were like, Hey, is good there tonight and I say yeah. But you guys probably shouldn't go in and they were like why and I said well, there's smoking in there and they're like I said because she's pregnant. Is Oh. Shit. Enough, I'd. Like. Very good. Beyond you one of my favorite stories is the their job working at Boston Comedy, Club Twenty, six, two days after my birthday. June Body Kelly, and Patrice O.`Neil on the street in by the firehouse and their cat. Colin produces call and women grows wrong buys a damn fat, ass I don't know Patrice it all a man known the little bit but not enough to talk to me or anything, but I'm working in the door. And I just kind of laughed at what he's what are you laughing at I said that's the worst way to pick up a woman in the world. He goes over really he's a how would you do it? So a girl walks by and I go. Hey, look you've had a rough day. One glass of wine and we can talk about it and she goes I'm good and kept walking and Patrice starts mocking me aggressively right. But it was far people understand that but it was fun because it was like bobby gem they're everyone's laughing and I'm talking to them. She Hears Patrice Making Fun of me and she comes back and she goes I'll take you up on that glass of wine and Patrice. Everyone's like. I just got a job working the door and that was my dream and I was like. I can't excuse me. Oh. My God just got my dream job. This want to do for a living. I can't leave this job I can't go and she was like you being here's right now. Like go idiot he was like, go go and Camp I just got my dream job. She goes okay and then Jesus I I'll go with you. Know I just kept walking. They mocked me we'll get. I told her. I was like this is my and Karen. Bergreen. Four Puerto Ricans brought in sitting in front Karen Bergreen came off stage crying and Lou, shape it comes out and he goes you fucking comedian get onstage I destroy these guys in the most probably hateful racial tirade that was fresh Outta Tallahassee just a straw them and but material. That's all I can do them up. How funny is that? That was your first set of Boston for of. A great story I, Know Puerto. Ricans Clark Hamburger Hamburger. You won't cry and I walked on and I brought these guys in instead of now one of the guys who's going to prison the next day I sent him in the front row. And I said I said what time do you make it a prison tomorrow? No one knew that he was really going to prison I. Like a man you better watch yourself like Oh. Hey. Am I when it says the store stupid Puerto Rican appoint to you and everyone laughed again and his buddies laugh and I go shouldn't you be your bite the delivery getting cold on your bike outside and everyone goes bugging nuts they get up they walk out. Everyone's here's fucking material. I was I was like or Puerto Rican and here. That's all I can do I ended up singing the elite on on stage. What happens Shaefer, Lewis shape lives in London. With young boys here we had a row SCHRAMM before he left roast and he was there. The Cook. Then Lewis was leaving and Jim Norton. Shavers moving to London because. Of epic is what they don't have a mega. You're one of my favorite shaper ones was duty Gold's about to go on stage and those g what we wanted to say about you and she goes list I don't really care and she goes. Please don't make a joke about my height whatever the fuck you say don't make a joke about my height because that's all he did why so Lewis goes okay. She did you understand me don't make a joke about my Hagen sure. So he gets on stage and you can say about this next woman except for fi five both. So. Funny. Would not when he was. There's still things. There's a lot of people like that. So funny. They're act gets in the way of the funny. Yes. Yeah. There's a garden Mike Burton who's the funniest human being in the world but his act never translated right and use la he's he has every great comedy story. He got a call one time from Vegas they go. Hey, we got a job you're going to be opening for Michael Bolton. So come out bring a suit. It's five grand. You just gotTa do twenty minutes news like great. So he goes in he goes in it's a huge theater everyone's having big dinner tables right my my burdens this tall bald. And he goes out and they go to do twenty but that you may have to stretch because he's running late and goes I'm fine. I got plenty of time. So all right how how them and they go ladies and gentlemen put Your Hands Together for Michael Burden. They think they say Bolton Tom Come. He comes out and the. Research doing stand up. Got Him better. What about Michael? Barton? This is the best one. He gets us. New. Gets an apartment right at the base of Laurel. Canyon right is perfect. The building his floor is the top floor and the building next to him is one story lower than there's. So he's got unobstructed view to all the hills. It's gorgeous. He gets there is no furniture whatsoever all got the landline into the middle of the living room, and so he walks in powers on bones on but he's sleep there walks into his room and he's just walking around and he's like I made it got own apartment.

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