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Rebecca, Business Owner, School Feminine Important Urgent discussed on The Resilient CEO

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Burst Details

Rebecca, Business Owner, School Feminine Important Urgent discussed on The Resilient CEO

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10 months ago

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

It's true when I also think that it's great for beginners but once you hit a certain point and that's Kinda. The new buzzword in the industry right now is cookie cutter. It's not cookie cutter. It's not cookie cutter you can only this is where self knowledge is power. I believe the self knowledge is the most powerful thing on the face of the planet and I'll go back to when I very first started out as a coach that I seven month program that I did in two thousand and ten was fantastic the second when I signed up for I never should have signed up for in fact one of the biggest motivating factors signing up for it that I was that my friends were signing up for you know and I think that's very common we we don't WanNA L. Like miss out on that community. So a lot of times people will continue on the program because they want the community but that's not what professional business owner does and then. I realized that the F. You probably even before that seven month program was I told the coach point blank. I said I don't need a group coaching program. I need customized one on one coaching and that's where people kind of get wrapped up into this whole magic pill strategy where they think this magic repel is going to be what carriers and they have often it doesn't work and then they get back on this carousel and they just keep repeating the same kinds of issues and they I never really get to the root cause of what what's working in y. And they've never really identified their ideal client. They don't really know their. You know methodology. I mean I I was guilty of that. You know I think that was a big piece that my coaches masked when we were creating all these funnels and I had hired this copywriter for the School Feminine Important Urgent. Nobody was like we'll who are we writing these sales pages show. Let's get really clear on who were speaking. Tau and that is such a fundamental component own into your business that and it's not the language that you're speaking. It's the language that your client is speaking and look. I had done marketing research ongoing going. I still do it but sometimes it's like this elusive thing that you just can't seem to put your finger on yeah and I think going back to what you said about making sure that you know who you're speaking to that super valuable but in order to do that you have to go through the journey to kind of understand those people like a real you'll relationship you don't just get into relationship in the know exactly what those people need and how to communicate effectively and I think that brings up a lot of mental health concerns even diagnoses with entrepreneurs especially. I mean we're kind of an island here. Were working behind are computers online. We don't have a lot of support. Some of us like myself might even be without a lot of in person support and it can be really scary. When you don't feel like you have a friend in the world to route number one talk to you about your business but to be able to have a friend to relate to you it's very rough and it can cause a lot of mental health things to come up you mentioned earlier when we are talking talking your philosophy on mental illness and I would love to have you share that with our lab -solutely so as I mentioned I used to work years a gallon a mental health institution I also mentioned off the record about my one of my spiritual teachers daughters committing suicide suicide and she was in the field of mental health and supported mental still supports mental health nonprofits and so on and I and I think the biggest challenge for number one. There's a huge stigma around it back years ago. Even two decades ago like you would never tell someone you're going and seeing a therapist rate and there would be frigging embarrassing and that I think is normal now. It's almost like I think Hollywood has his kind of made it a little bit like Oh. I go see my therapist kind of thing. I'm cool of cognitive behavioral therapy. I don't believe that talk. Therapy is effective. I think it can be for some people in and if it's not working in the short term. You've got a problem like going to therapy to talk about your childhood. Wound allergy or ten years is that person is enabling you to continue to be the victim and that's not where your power. It's so I mean I went through this. When I went through the challenges in my marriage and I was feeling like the the victim and I spent a fair amount of my life as the victim and I was like how dare he do this and that to me La La and I heard a voice in my head and again. I it started reading some books. This is like back in two thousand nine hundred thousand ten and I heard a boy sang Rebecca where you rejecting and abandoning yourself and that was one of the most powerful pivotal points in my life because what it did is it it kept me from continuing to be the victim and also so turned me into being the solution and I think that's one thing that people need to remember but I think that we still live in a society where there is not a lot of support. Our tribal system has broken down in other words over the past couple of hundreds of decades and I went through this at this point in time because again as I mentioned my family of origin was not supportive or helpful. Nobody was like hey can. We come babysit the kids so that you can go to go in your room and cry. Where can we come help. Do your laundry or caulker anything nothing and back in the day. When people would have children there would be not a tribal support network right. There'd be there'd be uncles. There'd be cousins. There'd be whatever like one person would maybe cook one person would do laundry. We see this in like coop communities MM unity's that people have generated and created because this other network stopped existing when it was like the family of four the family of two or the family of three of the family of six or whatever it is the core family unit broke down essentially and in that the support structure for mental health physical health you know just daily to do list completely broke down as well and then some people would find saying that support in the Church and the church structures obviously falling down like crazy literally and metaphorically right now and so people are just left oft feeling even more isolated than ever which is something that's really fascinating because we are at the highest state of evolutionary capabilities and we have more people on prescription medications that are not functioning than ever before and so what I think is part of that is historically in a lot of times when we want to understand what's going on in the president or the challenges in the problems that are in the present we need a look back through history and historically we have been a society he that was created. N. trained and praised for only seeing and experiencing what is in the physical world now all that that stuff is breaking down right now and we have a bigger sense of spirituality purpose connection within all of these these things that are being revealed if you will are people are awakening to them more so in the past several decades but primarily it was if if I remember being brought up hearing this. I don't know who I was but it was like if you can't see taste touch it smell it or feel it. It's not real and then you would hear phrases like it's just in your imagination and it's interesting because obviously coach my clients participate in this practice of visualizing and then we've got Einstein mentioning like you know your imagination is your most powerful asset but then we have a society that saying otherwise and so if you have someone who's in a wheelchair and again going back to the victim victim consciousness we also live in a society who will call it their triangle okay so this is the triangle of insanity. You've got the victim the perpetrator and the rescuer uh-huh you play the role of the victim people will come and rescue. You and I believe that's part of the reason why no one was helping me when I was going through all of this was because I was unwilling into play the role of the of the victim right. Can I show up instead of pointing my finger and saying that's the perpetrator over there. That's the perpetrator a trader so if I don't have a perpetrator and playing the role of the victim you suck because you can play the role of the rescue or you're not finding value in being present with me because you probably have never been present with yourself so that's another thing so the point is that if someone is in a wheelchair and they've had muscular alert dystrophy or or perhaps they have autism or you know there's a broad spectrum of reasons why someone would potentially be a wheelchair than that's what's acceptable to our society because they can see it with our physical eyes but if you are mentally handicapped or you're going through something emotionally that is is debilitating. You people don't understand that and I will also say that my own personal experience has been people will not only certainly not understand it but they will run as fast as they can from you in the other direction because they think that you're contagious. I don't know if you've ever heard that before. Yeah it's unfortunately there's so much misunderstanding when it comes to mental health and it's more than just the isolation I mean there have been and so many things that people ignore and I think it just gets worse when you are your own business. You're in your business. You are the brain beyond This is all you know. You don't really have co workers. I mean my dogs over there snoring but those are minimal co workers. We have minimal support and then when you try to get that support to say hey. I'm going through this. I'm anxious. I'm experiencing anxiety. It's not just during launch time or I feel really depressed or my mood fluctuates. Sometimes I'm happy and sometimes I'm having a really low day and I don't know how to pull myself out of it. sometimes people hear things. I mean there's all kinds of things that can happen not only to entrepreneurs but to anyone else and I think that it's important into really understand that just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist yeah absolutely and I also know that there are are measures that we as entrepreneurs need to be proactive with anytime we can ask the question. Is there anywhere in my I liked that. I am playing the role of the victim here because sometimes it's really easy to get in your own head and I think sometimes you know when you feel feel like I'm down and I can't get myself out of it will so what who said. You weren't meant to stay down. I think that's another really big key. Is that we we go through this emotional range and we go through these experiences that trigger these emotional aspects to surface so that we can bring them to the light pay attention to them and allow them to go and recognize that that's not who you are. It's just something moving through you and there are certain techniques that you can use to work with that therapeutically and then I think there's the practical aspect of daily routine combined with one of the things again I I'm going to go back to the self. Knowledge is power because it is one of the most powerful tools tools in your toolbox and we tend to run from our own selves so if we feel like we don't have a support network question again going back to this technique that I've used many times is will wear my not supporting myself because like attracts like and you know it may be a matter of going to a luxury hotel and working there for the day. It might be going to a networking event. I just started volunteering at networking events monthly. I love it because I had my own depths of feeling isolated slate and then there are times where I crave isolation and sometimes that's what I need so I think knowing yourself and knowing what you need a really important one of the things that I determined Herman really early on was I need at least three things a week to look forward to whether that's going out to dinner a networking king event meeting out with a friend even going for a bike ride on the trail with my love like you know looking at what are the things that I can put in my life that are going to support tort. My mental health. Exercise is huge the chemicals that are released during exercise. I go to the gym five days a week on the weekends. We usually they do something. Exercise related outside if I take a break. I'm a listen I already went is times. No big deal like you know in planning planning that out ahead of time so how're you setting yourself up for success and never never discounting or underestimating aiding the power of professional help. Obviously yeah and I'm GonNa link something in the comments to for a lot of us working online. We may not have access to therapy so so there is a resource I will be linking more information there one of those resources as talk space. I'm not an affiliate of talks base. I just have used it because they live in a small town where we have minimal resources so I can say that if you are looking to speak with someone that is a good resource and like Rebecca has.