Senate, President Trump, Emily Post Institute discussed on KQED Radio Show


The Senate as well well you are not just an author but your co president of the Emily post institute did you hear people say if and if the Emily post institute write something about this it could lessen the stigma that is my hope it is one of my big hopes is that this book can help to normalize it so that it's not science it's but the more that this is normalized the less it's going to be able to be used as something to put people in prison and to to sort of wrongfully harass people about so our hope is that and you know it's it's a it's a long slow low battle it feels like but it is it is making headway and you know one of the things that we are really I guess I guess it was a proud of it the Emily post institute is that when a lot of people think of etiquette they think that it's for the elite they think that it's about the secret society or knowing a secret language that lets you fit into a certain world and it for us said Emily post it couldn't be further from the truth when you look at these principles of consideration respect and honesty those are accessible to all of those are something that every part of our population can really grasp and utilize to help be more aware of the people around them and only post herself said that whenever you have two people who come together and their behavior affects one another you have as a kid it's not some rigid code of rules or manners and so we've always really really held tight to that throughout the generations well let me go to some callers and I'll start with Pat in Oakland hi Pat what's your question good morning this is the problems come up with me a couple times where I'm in a situation where somebody is passing the ball or joint and I look at the stadium and it's got a lot of the live on it yes yes I mean I try to avoid that you have the I can I don't have that problem I mean this someone gripping but yellow would you buy but offers to our question this is this is definitely covered in the book and it it it took awhile to get the language writer because he didn't want gross people out all the reading it but it can be really gross to see kind of a a slob bird and of bull piece and harder to deal with that that's a joint a lot of people just out of habit will will burn the the mouth piece of a bowl for a moment just to help kind of dried out and also for for the germ factor so that's actually a pretty common practice to see happen I don't think that it's terribly rude to just give it a little wife I think it's a it's so funny how much it depends on the company that you're with among really close friends who can rip each other a bit you can like that's the back and say come on man could clean the ball first and that can be something that's really light we received it doesn't cause a lot of offense but in other company that could be really offensive and difficult to pull off casually and so you just try to kind of take care of it yourself I have a harder time with that when it comes to the joints that I smoke because of someone has as we say in the book a particularly wet whistle and that does get really wet then you're both potentially having a harder time is smoking the end of it and also it's just it's not comfortable you can try doing things like holding it a little bit differently some people I've seen some people hold the end of the joint almost like they're holding a chillum which you hold with your your hands kind of grass together in such a way that you're not actually touching the mouth piece but you're inhaling that's a little harder to pull off with the joint I I haven't mastered that one yet I this is a delicate issue is definitely something to be aware of well Pat thanks for the question hi Bridget writes on Tuesday I rest are probably to the vet thinking she was having a seizure the vet told me that he suspected she was high is likely she picked up something off the sidewalk the vet said this is becoming more common and they see at least one high dog every day please be careful with your product even the outdoors and this is their rights I suffer a very bad psychotic reaction to pot it takes me to an ugly place and it takes me weeks to go back to a normal existence now that pot is legal I'm constantly surrounded by it in public places I grew up in the fifties and people smoke tobacco in public and you couldn't get away from it now it's happening with weed where it's hard to find public space with clean air that last point raises some interesting questions in terms of just the responsibilities of the person who is using it and the responsibility or the way to approach that person say if they are not enjoying it in your presence absolutely and and just before we lose the point about you know where people are choosing to discard items you know I saw it I was on to walk the other day and saw vape pen discarded it was a disposable and to me I was just like boy that means that anyone of any age could be picking that up and finding that you don't know if it's empty or nonempty and that is worrisome so a consideration really is to dispose of your products properly to make sure that when you are carrying them on you that it's not easy for them to fall out of a pocket or purse or backpack or bag and to route to really take care with your product I'm really glad that listener brought that up in terms of a smoke being everywhere and I believe technically that we are not supposed to be smoking publicly even though it happens very regularly I know that in people's personal homes in on private property that that you really can walk into a house and then you know have it be an issue for you like this listeners experiencing one of the interesting things about cannabis is that the many chemical compounds that are in it create the different effects that it has on our body and on our mind and I'm always a fan of encouraging people to go low and slow but to to try to find what might work for them if it is something they want to engage with but haven't found the right combination of the right strain yet because what this listener said is actually it's a pretty common negative reaction and it doesn't have to happen with every single strain and there's also some really great research out there about contact ties we referenced a doctor Ryan van trees research in the book about the likelihood of you actually experiencing a contact high and what it would take to to get you one everybody is different so you want to keep that in mind but I do think it's really appropriate that if nobody has spoken up about you know opening a window or trying to take the smoke downwind from people rather than up wind river of wind is where it's all going to drift on to the to the group near you and down wind as when it'll drift away from them and you really do want to feel comfortable saying you either moving yourself around or turning on a fan or opening up the window or stepping outside or asking someone else to do the same for you and it it really depends on the situation that you're in if I'm in a situation where I am the one person and the rest of the crowd is all doing this I might choose to move myself rather than ask the crowd to move or I might speak with my host and say Hey you know just a reminder I'm I'm trying not to smoke right now again I was in that situation last night and I was really grateful that everyone around me they were both smoking cigarettes and smoking joints and it was really nice that they were aware of where I was sitting in in the on the back porch that we were all on and people are kind of moving and I was also moving myself at times when I didn't want to just speak up and say Hey you know can you watch it with that cigarette smoke I didn't feel comfortable or polite for me so I wanted to instead do what I could do to move around it and it all kind of worked out but I think having the confidence to know that you can move yourself or that you could speak up if you needed to and even maybe practicing some sample language that feels casual in light are ways that you can help feel confident walking into those situations where you might encounter elsewhere a little harder when we're talking about public smoking and you don't know people yes also if you ask what is concert etiquette my recent exacts a mix of yes that that can be really tough right because at a concert you know you might not have the ability to move your seats and that can be you can be really bothers some I do suggest that if you're ever having trouble with someone around you are disturbing you at a concert and in some type of way or it's some type of public performance that you do your best to find an usher or someone from the establishment that's hosting it to deal with the problem and to explain what's going on to them you know safety does really supersede etiquette and you just don't know where other people are out there have been some really really intense stories that we've been told at the Emily post institute that we've seen highlighted in the news of just terrible backlash when someone tries to even politely confront someone and so I do said we do really suggest safety first and and go to the establishment of something is making you uncomfortable and again Lizzie posts book is higher etiqueta guide to the world of cannabis from dispensaries to dinner parties Chris in Vallejo join us hi I am in the tourist industry I have three years of in taking people from San Francisco up to so now Matt and napa county for wine tasting tours and recently just started my own business doing taking that model is that taking people up and then to see no for Canada's chores and the difference in behavior is night and day people are just so much more considerate and polite and smoke cannabis than wine tasting well Chris intact yes if you started a new tour we combine the two and the at the tasting room but normally won't do late afternoon wine tastings because they say by then people are drunk and obnoxious they say oh you're kind of those people yeah we'll do a late afternoon tape Bernice in San Francisco joined as this is about when you're like either end up you know social situation where their children run and everywhere what Medicare for being around children and second what is he what can you do if somebody else is like supposing that to Canada on a regular basis thirty six yeah desert and Bernice these are good questions they're also very tough questions mostly because parenting is such a personal issue and so you do in terms of your second question of what can you do of someone's exposing their own children to cannabis on a regular basis those are those are confrontational conversations that you really want to make sure that you feel comfortable having and that you approach with delicacy and care it's it is that they're they're very delicate topics when it comes to make stage parties we see alcohol consumption and we even do see tobacco consumption in front of minors quite frequently cannabis I think in a lot of social ways will get folded into our society in in similar forms where you know you don't want that smoke drifting on to children you don't want it being in closed rooms with no ventilation with children around I think that you do want to make sure that you that for instance if if I go to a party I want to make sure and and it's a mixed day to party I want to make sure it's okay with my host that I you know light that joint in the backyard they may not want me to their they may choose not to not to engage with cannabis in front of their children or at at parties with children that are there that aren't their own other places it's perfectly okay I've been to many parties.

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